Minions #67 - Hard Liquor

Stay tuned for an important (okay, not so much) message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3


Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A Happy-hour Howdy from the Minion Master:

Greetings, Bar-flies of Badness,


Well, there you go. Never say I don't listen to you and give you what you want (those of you cool enough to be part of our Weekly Reminder Email List anyway). You guys like the Bartender so we finally get a line of dialog from him, and a little more back-story. How did he become a Minion? How did he UN-become a Minion? Only time will tell...

It's shaping up to be another busy summer, with travel, family business to deal with, and now it looks like we'll be putting in a one-day (Saturday) appearance at the San Diego Comicon. My wife, Chris is up for the first IAMTW (International Association of Media Tie-in Writers) Scribe Award in the young-adult category for her Alias novel "A Touch of Death." If you're there, drop by the awards/media-tie-in discussion panel to cheer her on.

It's also nice to see that the Minions at Work video trailer is up to almost 1500 views on YouTube, despite a total lack of promotion (other than you guys), more than my "Governator" video has gotten in a year. We're also seeing a trickle of new members on the reminder list. All of which suggests that making a few videos as promotion may be worth the trouble. So expect to see more when I get around to it.

Oh, and check the bottom of the page for the new, more colorful "Minions at Work" logo that I'm trying out. Let me know what you think. I'm still debating about moving it to the top of the page...


Oh, and one more bit of self-promotion. Here's the new "cover" art for our upcoming Star Trek the Next Generation Ebook (first in the five-book series, "Slings and Arrows") titled "A Sea of Troubles." The series fills in much of the one-year (Star Trek time) gap between the end of "Star Trek: Generations" and "Star Trek: First Contact," and our book deals with the Enterprise E being infiltrated by a Changeling spy just as its shakedown cruise takes it into a dangerous planetary nebula. It will be out later this year, as will the trade paperback reprint of our "Star Trek Corps of Engineers" ebook, "Spin." You can find more info on my writing blog, here.

See you all back here at the lair next week...

-Steve

Minions #66 - Hot Seat

Click image for full-sized version.












(Stay tuned for an important message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.)

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A stern reprimand from the Minion Master:

Greetings, Sitting Ducks,


Running a little late this week. I had a non-fiction book proposal to finish up last night and didn't get done until the wee hours, nor out of bed till noon today.

Those of you not on our email reminder list (see above) have been missing out on some fun stuff. The reminder list has its own exclusive web page with goodies such as file downloads, photo galleries, and -- polls. We just closed a poll on the list's favorite Minions at Work character, and here are the results:

POLL QUESTION: Who is your favorite Minions at Work character?

CHOICES AND RESULTS
- No. 1 - The backwards-hat leader, 30.43%
- Number Two - The wise-cracking, big-nose, gas-mask guy, 13.04%
- Number Nine - (the black guy) He's a lover, not a fighter, 8.70%
- Number Ten - (the camo helmet guy) He's a fighter, not a lover, 0.00%
- Number 67 - The female Minion, 4.35%
- Rookie - The clueless flat gasmask guy with the snorkle, 8.70%
- Penguin, 13.04%
- Doctor Coldblood - Evil reptile overlord, 4.35%
- Gondor McKomb - Suited bureaucrat, a minion of a different kind, 0.00%
- The Bartender - Evil master of mixacology with a mysterious past, 8.70%
- Dragon Lady - Beautiful Asian barfly, also mysterious, 8.70%


So, what does it all mean? Well, it's hardly a scientific poll, and it isn't a big sample. Most of you aren't on the reminder list, and only about half of those who are voted. I also set up the poll so you could only vote for one favorite. It might have come out quite differently if I'd allowed multiple choices. Still...

Not a huge surprise that our fearless leader No. 1 is the most popular character, of only because he's the most visible and recognizable. But he was slow out of the gate, with several characters beating him in early voting.

I'm maybe surprised that not more people voted for Number Two. Our self-centered lay-about is one of my personal favorite characters.

But people do love the Penguin. No surprise that he's a break-out character. Penguins are hot, and how can you not love a Penguin in a crash helmet?

One surprise is that anybody voted for the bartender, much less that he did as well as he did. He's never been the focus of a panel, never had a line. He's just there, looking cool in his Hawaiian shirt and mixing a mean martini or two. But I'm glad, as I do have a back-story in mind for him that ties him more closely to the Minions than you'd imagine, and we'll get around to doing more with him one of these days.

On the other hand, nobody voted for poor Gondor McKomb, and he's been more center stage than the bartender in several panels. Go figure.

And poor Number 10. Also unloved. Too violent I guess.

Anyway, we'll do this poll again in a while. Hopefully more of you will sign up for the list, and by then you'll probably have seen more of our supporting characters, and can better form an opinion about them.

But that doesn't mean the poll fun is over. Our next poll (already underway) allows you to chose which of a list of evil plans you'd carry out if you were an overlord. We'll announce the results here in a few weeks. Sign up for the list now so you can join the fun!

See you next time.

- Steve

Minions #65 - Advance Warning

Click image for full-sized version.


Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A little something extra in your pay envelope from the Minion Master:

Greetings, wage-slaves,


More workplace humor this week. As it happens, Minion-mistress Chris is an accountant (currently the assistant-controller at a resort hotel). She doesn't do payroll any more, but she used to, and I still remember all the stories. Anyway, a shout-out to her co-workers at the accounting department. They all know who they are.

The "attack accountant" sign in this cartoon is actual a refrigerator magnet I bought for Chris a while back. I borrowed it back for the photo shoot, but it normally lives in her kitchen, and a larger version is on her office door at work.

Anyway, that's it for this week. Share the link (especially with your accounting friends).

See you next time.

- Overtime Overlord, Steve

Minions #63/#64 - Memorial Day Double!

Be sure to continue down for this week's BONUS Minions at Work cartoon!

Click image for full-sized version.
Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Service with a smile! (Hey! He's wearing a gas-mask. Can you prove he isn't smiling?)

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A big second-helping from the Lair's barbecue:

"Greetings, Minions off work..."


I hope you're having a good holiday weekend safe with friends and family, a last moment of domestic bliss before our plan of world domination is set in motion. Okay, not so much. Even the Overlords are taking the day off today.

But lets not forget the thousands of U.S. servicemen and women who don't know what a day off is lately, and a "day-on" means a full schedule of danger and adversity. I don't know if you guys are out there (what with the Pentagon pulling the plugs on so many sites on the questionable name of "bandwidth"), we love you guys, and want you all home safe ASAP. Keep your heads down, and we'll keep a steak in the freezer for when you get stateside.

Now, on the the usual Minions madness. Actually, it's unusual Minion madness, in that we're offering a double-dose of toons this week. Why? Well, it's the tradition of business to have special sales and clear out some overstock merchandise over the long weekend, and we're no different. Yup, I've found a Minions panel that's been hanging around the warehouse too long, and so I'm going to bend over backwards to make you a deal! Yes, two, TWO Minions cartoons for the price of one, and the price of one is FREE! Yes, friends, it doesn't get any better than that!

Oh, sure, you could reward out generosity by sharing "Minions at Work" with a friend, or by buying something from one of our Cafe Press shops, or buying one of our many books in print. But we wouldn't want to make you feel guilty or anything.

Not us.

Guilty.

Guilty, guilty, guilty!

No.

Hey, anyway, hope I didn't get anybody down with last week's "layoff" theme. Being a Minion is about laughing in the face of adversity, and from what I hear, the workplace can sometimes be pretty adverse.

On another matter, if you aren't currently a member of our Minions at Work weekly reminder mailing list, then you can't vote in our "Favorite Minions Character" poll (of which I'm going to announce the results next week). Yep, the list has its own web page with polls, exclusive photo albums, behind-the-scenes goodies, and other exclusive content. Plus, you'll get a weekly notice in your mailbox to remind you about the latest Minions at Work cartoon posting. Never miss a cartoon. Don't miss the fun. Sign up today.


Well, we've strung you along quite enough. Enjoy our warehouse blowout, overstock, showroom sample, factory-second, mismatched-set, holiday bonus cartoon:

Minions #62 - Mismanagement Meeting

Click image for full-sized version.
Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

Please report to the briefing room for an important message from the Minion Master:

"Good news everybody! Some of you won't be getting pay cuts! You'll be unemployed!"


Things have been a bit silly here lately, so I decided it was high time to put away the fart-jokes for a bit and get back to the workplace humor that I see as the core of the strip.

I confess, I like this one a lot. I think all of us have been in this moment, when you're feeling good about a place your working, and then it all turns bad, and you suddenly get that sick feeling in your stomach when you realize that the captain of you little ship of industry and/or commerce doesn't have a clue what they're doing.

And really, there's nothing more embarrassing than realizing that they person in charge of a company doesn't even have a clue what the company even does. "We're not selling septic-tank clean-outs people, we're selling smiles and a warm handshake." Yeah, just not clear on the concept.

(Whoops, almost got back to fart-joke territory there, but you know what I mean.)

Hey, you guys can help me out here. Since I'm not currently a wage slave, I'd love to hear your work stories, your idiot boss stories, your idiot customer stories, your idiot co-worker stories, and the things that go on around you that you just can't believe. Anything that might inspire a good "Minions at Work" cartoon. You can send them as feedback, or if you prefer to be more private about it, send it email. I'd love to hear from you.

Till next week, keep passing the links.

- Steve

Minions #61 - Secret Ingredient

Click image for full-sized version.
Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A Chemically Altered Message from Minion Central:

Greetings, All You Kings of Disco, you Queens of Funk,


Please put your hands together and give a big Minions at Work welcome to our new Overlord, Doctor Funkeystein (and his hunchbacked assistant Willie)! Doctor Funkestein reminds you not to confuse him with funk-disco great George Clinton, aka "Dr. Funkenstein. Explains Doc, "Dr. Funkenstein is a musical genius. I am just a genius who is musical." Maybe his "musical" nature is why the doc is always trying to mix up a more powerful alternative to Beano.

Doc is your basic mad-scientist, and likes to keep things old-school. I expect we'll see more of Doc and Willie as time goes on.

Sincerely,
- It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Steve

Minions #60 - Evil Defined

Click image for full-sized version.
Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A Message from Minion Central:

Greetings, Janitorial Judges,


Okay, sometimes we go for the cheap joke, but we're working on "I Was a Teen-aged Minion" right now, and young adult is not shy with the bathroom humor. Deal.

And hey, thanks to any of you who may have been responsible for some of the nice comments and ratings we've gotten on the Minions at Work video trailer. We're not exactly getting mentioned on Letterman yet, but we're off to a reasonable start. Hopefully it will get "discovered" over time. Meanwhile, I've got some ideas for another near-term Minions video project (a different sort of trailer, actually), so maybe there will be more as time goes on (especially if there are requests).

See you next week.

- Steve

Minions #59 - Survival Instinct

Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20


Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A Big Blast of Global Warming from Minion Central:

Greetings, Endangered Ones,


I'm a big fan of the absurd, so this week's cartoon is one of my favorites. I don't know how you'll react, but it makes me laugh. Note too our not-so-evil plug for you to read up on real-life penguin conservation, and find out what you can do to help our fine feathered fiends -- er -- friends. To save you the effort of typing in the link from the cartoon, get your penguin info by clicking here.

You know, there's some irony here. Our evil overlord Dr. Coldblood wants to use global warming to set the stage for the return of the dinosaurs. Yet, an ever-growing body of scientific evidence supports that penguins (and other birds) are dinosaurs, or at least their more sophisticated descendants. Doctor Coldblood really needs to watch more Animal Planet.

On a more mercenary note, I've now added an assortment of black and dark colored "I've Got Evil in my Pants" tee-shirts to Number Two's House of Naughty. I'll be doing the same at the Lair of Merchandise soon, but I still have a few more graphics to redo.

Hope you enjoy the video trailer. Please post your comments and ratings on YouTube, and pass it along to your friends. I don't think this is our last or most ambitious step into the world of video, so depending on the response, I hope we can do it again soon. I've already been lining up some voice talent who might handle actual Minion dialog in some hypothetical future installment.

Anyway, I'm outta here. I'm trying to build up my inventory of Minions at Work cartoons, so I already have some neat things waiting in the wings, with more to come. Keep checking back, and don't miss a thing!

- Steve (Stockpiling Weapons of Mass Hilarity)

Minions #58 - Blue Collar in Black and White

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Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

An after-work Martini-gram from from Minion Central:

Greetings, Real Minions,


As you may have noted, we had some problems with the images in our Cafe Press stores last week, but they were fixed over the weekend and everything seems to be back in order.

This marks the second appearance of the "other-Minions." Our guys last ran into them in this very same bar back in Minions #25. So I started to wonder, "who are these guys?" Now, maybe they just work for some other overlord, but our guys get around, and something about those yellow helmets and translucent sleeves somehow suggested that they were dedicated techies of some sort. And given that, could there be some friction with our work-a-day Minions? Quite possibly. I'll bet these guys have quite a rivalry when they play softball at the company picnic...

Anyway, I doubt this is the last you'll see of these guys. Since, in the novel I'm working on, I've dubbed our original Minions "White Team," then let's call these guys "Blue Team."

(By the way, does anybody else think that Mike Rowe of Discovery Channel's program Dirty Jobs really needs to hook up with the Minions?)


See you next week...

- Steve, Master of Multiple Minions

Overlord Update

Hot off the wires:

A nice review of "If I Were an Evil Overlord" in general (look to the sidebar for a picture of the cover), and my story in particular. Find it here.

-Steve, Overlord Tech-writer

Minions #57 - Lost

Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A Looking for Evil in all the wrong places missive from Minion Central:

Greetings, Lost Sheep of Lawfulness,


This is our second-ever Minions cartoon with no caption, the previous one being #45, Uncivil Disobedience, in case you'd care to revisit it.

Hey, folks, I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing! Drop me a comment here, good bad or indifferent. I get quite a bit of email, which is fine if you have something you want to say privately, but having comments on the blog gives it a nice, lived-in look that keeps me happy and making new Minions cartoons! Doesn't have to be long or eloquent. A simple "Ha!" or "Huh?" is fine with me. Just post!


Minor public relations moment for those of you who may be in the UK. My wife Chris's second novel based on the cult-favorite ALIAS TV series, "A Touch of Death," is being released this month there by Simon and Schuster UK. In fact, Amazon UK lists it as being available now! And of course, those of you on this side of the pond can still buy the U.S. edition as well.

See you next week.

- Steve: Lonely as Hell at the Top of the Lair

Minions #56 - Shrinkage

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Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

A Tower of Truth (evil truth) from Minion Central:

Greetings, Followers of feloniousness,


Spring is sprung, so it seemed appropriate to take the Minions outside. Well, actually, it was raining here, but luckily we had some outdoor shots from last summer just awaiting editing and a good caption. I do hope to get the Minions out on location a time or two this spring and summer though, when the weather permits.

Hey, don't forget to check our sidebar (that's over to the side of your screen there), as I'll try to add at least some new bit of fun and amusement every week. It may be subtle, and it may not happen on Monday at the same time as the new cartoon, but it will be there...

See y'all next week.

- The Stevemeister

Minions #55 - One Up

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Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

A long, cool, drink of water from Minion Central:

Greetings, Patrons of Perpetration,


This is, more or less, the one year anniversary of "Minions at Work." My first cartoon post on the original "Minions for Hire" was April 7th of last year (the Minions first appeared on some GI Joe collecting web sites a bit before that). Bah! Where's my cake! I wanted cake!

The Minions, meanwhile have returned to the bar for a little Minion refreshment. I'd say they were celebrating their birthday, but to be honest, they don't need an excuse.

Meanwhile, I slave away at the keyboard finishing my Star Trek project. I did, however, give up some break time to finish opening our second Cafe Press store, Number 2's House of Naughty, featuring items inspired by last week's "There's Evil in My Pants" cartoon. Actually, these things are only really naughty if you have a dirty mind, and that couldn't possibly apply to you, could it?



Anyway, if you should, for some reason that escapes me, wish to proclaim that you have evil in your pants, you'll find a whole variety of shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and yeah, even undies to help you out in that area -- in adult sizes only, of course (though, as any parent can tell you, there is a certain inescapable logic in doing an infant/toddler size as well.)

I haven't installed a link for this in the sidebar, so again, here's the link.

See you next week,

- Steve, Evil Shopkeeper

Minions #54 - Troubled Waters

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Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

A poisoned candygram from Minion Central:

Greetings, Minions and Wimmons,


Hey, is that a bridge over something? Not water, actually. Didn't use a drop in making this week's cartoon. No, it's not heavy photoshop either (though I did some touch-up). It's magic, baby! Love that magic!

Enough talk. Busy. Deadlines. Must go. Next week. Bye.

- JSY

Minions #53 - Things Change

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Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.

A Missive from your friendly Overlord:

Greetings, Maxi-Minions,

What can I say about this week's cartoon. Sometimes, a plan just comes together. Sometimes we have a prop in search of a punch-line. Sometimes we have a punch-line in search of a prop. But in this case, we had a punch-line, and the prop practically built itself and homed in on the punch-line like a joke-seeking missile. (What a fiendish plan. We've got to work on that!)

I remind you that that the new anthology "If I Were an Evil Overlord" is not available in your favorite store or bookseller. You'll find the link to the right to buy it from BarnesandNobel.com, but if you're the type who prefers to buy through Amazon, use this link. And stay tuned following my usual ramblings for an excerpt from my story in said book, titled "Gordie Culligan vs. Dr. Longbeach and the HVAC of Doom."

Beyond that the usual. Spread the word. Blah, blah. Buy the shirts. Blah, blah. Join the reminder list. Blah, blah. And if you check the sidebar, you'll see that, in another desperate attempt to make this evil venture profitable (or at least, not so much of a money pit) I'm experiment with "Google Adsense" advertising. Check it out, and if you should choose to click through to visit our sponsors, some billionth of a cent will be sent in my direction.

Keep in mind, I have no control or idea what ads will appear on the site. Supposedly, they'll be automatically chosen to tie into the content of our humble site. Given what we do here, it may be highly entertaining (and possibly frightening) to see what sorts of ads will appear as the robots zero in on us. (Which is a good evil plan. I've got to work on that!)

This is just an experiment, and as always, your input is welcome. Feel free to drop a comment on the site or send me an email.

And now, onto an excerpt from my story in "If I Were an Evil Overlord." Keep in mind, this excerpt is taken from my unedited manuscript, not the final book copy. Any typos or errors are caused entirely by the internet... Okay, I might have had something to do with it too.

---

I tell you, when I answered that ad in the back of Popular Mechanics long ago, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Sure, I expected steady work, good pay, excellent benefits, and the respect and admiration of my friends and family. That goes without saying.
But I never expected the intrigue, the danger, the adventure!

My name is Gordie Culligan, and I’m the man from HVAC. That’s Heating, Ventilation and Air-Conditioning to you. God, I love the smell of a fried starter-capacitor in morning!

It was a day like any other day in the Los Angeles basin, but I felt something in the air. Possibly it was the unusual number of ominous, glowing, saucer-shaped clouds moving against the wind, or the swarms of atomic, robot bats flapping their way east over Burbank, or the unusual number of electric dirigibles, blue arcs of lighting crackling between their protruding electrodes, that circled over the San Diego freeway. Maybe it was just the greenish tinge to the smog. But I knew something was up.

Now sure, I know if you don’t live in LA, you’d consider any one of those things cause for alarm, but that’s why you live where you live, and I live in the greatest city in the world.

Sure, it was a little startling at first, but this is LA, baby! You live here for a while, you see things like this every day, and nothing ever, ever comes of it, you just start to take it for granted. Sure, there are giant robots in Tarzana and giant beetles in Griffith Park, but when you’ve had Conan for a governor, nothing is that strange any more.

By now, you’re probably saying, “Gordie, this is all very interesting and all, but what about the air-conditioning?” See it all ties in, and until recently, I didn’t know that. You see all those crazy things, and you take it for granted that nothing ever happens. By you know why nothing ever happens?

Because of guys like me, that’s why. HVAC saves the world, baby! That’s what this town is about!

(Continued in "If I Were an Evil Overlord.")

---

Now get to the bookstore! Dang, I'm evil.

See you next week.

-Steve, Overlord in residence

Minions #52 - Immigrant labor

Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:

Greetings Minionoids,

Advice of the day: Be careful what you wish for...


Brag of the day: Remember a while back when we gave away a signed copy of my wife Chris' ALIAS tie-in novel, A Touch of Death? Well, it's a nominee for the 2006 IAMTW Scribe Awards, in the catagory of
Best Young Adult Novel (All Genres), which will be awarded at this year's San Diego Comicon. Big congrats to Chris!.

Just a reminder, if you order a Minions shirt or other item, be sure to send us your pictures of you wearing or using your items. We'll post them here on the site. Just to get you rolling, here are a couple shots of our model Zoe. (our kinda, sorta, almost granddaughter who we're crazy about. Familial relationships are complicated in the 21st century.)

She's wearing our "Infant/Toddler Evil Nature T-Shirt." I'm promised some pictures from the back, eventually, which reads (of course) "Evil is not my nature. Evil is just my day job." At only $9.99, it's a great conversation piece, and will give your toddler the fear and respect they deserve. Why have rug-rats, when you can have little Minions?

I've also had some requests for new items. First of all, Black shirts. Yes, I want these too, but I have to redo my art for the new shirts, and just haven't gotten around to it yet. Soon. When I do, maybe I'll also do some red shirts. Mainly around here, we're about the black and the white, but red-shirts are kind of Minions of good. You know what happens to red-shirts don't you?


Also, I had a (gulp!) request for a Minions thong. Well, okay, we try to please. I've just added an "evil nature" thong to the store, at least on a trial basis. Okay, if you send me thong pictures, we are not posting them on the site!

But since I want to be sure the store is considered family/office friendly, maybe I'll start up a separate shop for undies and such at some point. "Number 2's House of Naughty" has a nice ring to it.

Well, that's all for this week. As always, share with your friends, and never let the Overlords catch you napping...

- Steve, Minion Underlord.

Minions #51 - Frequent Flier

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

I Can Make You Famous!
Well, for about 15 seconds anyway, which according to Andy Warhol, gives you a remaining lifetime quota of 14 minutes and 45 seconds to save for a rainy day. After all, why blow it all at once by, say, getting out of a limousine without any underwear? Make it last! Simply buy a Minions shirt from our Lair of Merchandise today, and send us a picture of you (or your child, or your dog, or your killer cyborg from the future) wearing it, and we'll post it here for your fellow Minions Lovers to enjoy. Or better yet, buy a shirt once a year, send us a new picture, and enjoy fame through (if not throughout) the next 60 years! Such a deal! (Disclaimer: We reserve the right to edit or exclude pictures in such bad taste that even we won't touch them, or that or unsuitable for family viewing. Not to say that we won't keep our own private gallery here at the lair, mind you. We're evil, darn it!)


Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:
Still buried here at Minions Central. Our bathroom remodel, which was supposed to take place in two stages weeks apart all happened at once, as our tile guy had a hole open up in his schedule. Also, my first day of jury-duty Thursday (no, they didn't actually put me on a jury). So the bad news is a week of work-disaster for this privacy-craving ("...who dares enter the lair of Doctor Anti-social!") Overlord. Good news is, I still managed to come up with a new Minions at Work in the ta-da nick of time. (And you thought only the good-guys could manage that!)

Minions #50 - Great Expectations

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:

As I said last week, nothing too special for Minions #50, but not too shabby either.

Note also the new picture of me in the sidebar, taken last weekend at Radcon, when I was in full-on Evil Overlord mode. Thanks to my friend, writer Rob Vagle for the photo, and Jay Lake for loan of the helmet. Note my wife Chris at left, and her bemused, long-suffering expression. She's been putting up with this for decades, folks...

We're still in both remodeling and deadline (Star Trek) hell at the moment, and I start jury duty in about a week, so no promises on what you'll get in coming weeks. But I'll come up with something. I always do.

- Steve, the horned one...

Minions #49 - Black Thumb

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:
As I type this, we're finishing up our weekend at Radcon in Pasco, Washington. We had a good time visiting with fans and friends old and new, signing a few books, and modeling our new Minions at Work tee shirts. We're on our way home in a few hours, but it's a long drive, so I'm cutting the Minions loose a little early.

If you'll check the sidebar, you'll find a few fun changes.

First, a popular features on my newsgroup over on sff.net was my periodic postings of "good names for rock bands." I freely admit cribbing this idea from the wonderful novelist, writer, and humorist Dave Barry. After he started using the concept in his columns as a running joke, I couldn't help start noticing those odd combinations of words that come up in writing, conversation, or that I overhear in public places, that simply beg to be rock bands.

Now I'm moving the feature here where more people will see it. I try to make note of them, and record them for posterity. I'll update the list now and then whenever new names drop out of the ether.

You also note that the quotes from Number One and Number 2 have been changed. I'll try to change them now and then to keep things fresh and provide you with a new source of amusement, so keep watching.

- Steve, Minion Master

Minions #48 - Old story: Boy meets girl...

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

About this week's comic: Well, I almost chickened out on this one. Not only is the punch-line pretty edgy, but of the three previewers I showed it to, two thought it was very funny, and the third thought my Minion was a guy, throwing a whole unintended spin on things. Not that I might not go there if that was the point of a good joke, but it wasn't...

I put it aside to consider pulling it or doing a reshoot. I also ran it past my homies on the "Minions Reminder List," and when the was overwhelmingly positive, I just posted it with a title that I hope clarifies all -- uh -- dangling gender issues. Just to be triple-clear, this Minion 67, our new female Minion. Really.

Anyway, it seems appropriate that I held this little romance back closer to Valentine's day anyway. Hope you like it. Hope you're still speaking to me. I do value all your opinions, so if you think things are funny, not funny, offensive, edgy, too edgy, not edgy enough, let me know. This isn't a democracy by any means, but I do listen and value your opinions.

And remember, as always, this is a parody, and all celebrity action figures are impersonated. No super-heroes were harmed in the shooting of this cartoon. (Whoops, I said "shoot" again!)

Next weekend Chris and I will be at the Radcon science fiction/gaming convention in Pasco, Washington, signing books, participating in panel programming, and generally trying to seduce some new folks to join us in the Minion way. The panel for next week is all but done, so barring technical difficulties on the road it should appear Monday (or perhaps even a little earlier).

One thing that does have me concerned, is that Blogger's little housekeeping robots flagged my other two blogs, Multiplex of the Mind (devoted to writing and other serious stuff) and One-Sixth (my hobby blog mainly aimed at fellow collectors of 1/6th action figures, rather than the general public) as "spam blogs." They locked the blogs so that I couldn't add new posts.

This shouldn't be a major point of concern. Somehow something about my blogs was tagged by the robots for the "no-fly" list. But supposedly all I needed to do was email them (done) and a real human would drop by to verify my non-blog status and allow me to post again. But this could take four business days. It hasn't happened here, but I can't say for sure that it won't. If we did get flagged, in theory we shouldn't be off-line more than the afore-mentioned four working days.

Minions #47 - Back to the Future

(Stay tuned following our usual reminders for some additional important information about today's cartoon.)



Announcing (for those who didn't catch it already) our new URL! You'll now find your weekly Minions fix at www.MinionsAtWork.com! The old addresses will continue to be forwarded, but the new address is easier to remember so you can more easily check Minions at Work on the go, or pass it to your friends.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

About this week's comic:

Have a feeling of deja vu? Don't be alarmed. It's a common feeling for time-travelers.

Actually, this is a fill-in comic, as the one I'd had planned to post this week was held back for further scrutiny. Yeah, I knew I was pushing the "bad-taste" meter on this one, but one person I showed it to interpreted it in an unexpected way that was not intended, and which took it into way more controversial territory. So I have to figure out if I should just release it, scrap it, or put it out with a disclaimer to make sure nobody gets the wrong idea. I'm leaning towards the latter (and that's probably what I'll do), but I wanted at least a few more days to mull it over, and maybe run it past another pair of eyes or two. So I pulled this one out of the drawer instead.

Speaking of Time Travel
No, you did not miss Minions at Work #46. I realized after posting last week's cartoon (#45) that I'd screwed up the numbering. There were two posts previously made as #42 (I was probably confused by the "bonus" posting of #43) so I'm skipping a number to bring things back into order.

So, you did not miss #46. There is no #46! Or rather, #45 was #46. Confused? That's part of our plan! We're evil, darn it!

- Steve, Master of Evil plans, if not numbers.

WWW.MINIONSATWORK.COM!

I've just bought the Minions their own domain. That means our new official address is "www.MinionsAtWork.com." You shouldn't notice any changes (we're still being hosted by Blogger), and the old address will be forwarded, so all your old links will continue to work just fine. The only difference is that our new address will be easier to remember. Now you can more easily check Minions at Work no matter where you are, home, the road, work, the library, whatever you happen to be near a computer, and it's that much easier to share Minions with your friends.

Shortly, I'll likely be updating the Cafe Press designs to include the new URL as well.

Minions #45 - Uncivil Disobedience

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

Notes from the Hall of Injustice
This is the most Minions you've ever seen at once. It's not all the minions. I think I have two more on standby, but pretty much every established Minion is here.

The "Hall of Justice" is a nod to the watered-down 70s cartoon version of "The Justice League of America" called "Superfriends" The Hall of Justice was their headquarters. Of course "Hall of Justice" is also the name in many localities for the courthouse or police headquarters, but our intention is more in the super-hero direction this time.

This is also the first ever Minions cartoon without a caption. It just didn't seem to need it, especially if you pay close attention to those signs.


And just to be clear, they guy on the bus bench isn't intended to be Richard Marchinko. It's another guest appearance by my "mini-me." I've really got to put some more gray in his beard one of these days.

Still Looking for Links
There's a new "Thanks for the Link" feature that we'd like to point out. We need to get out word about "Minions at Work" to the world a large. If you have a blog or web page, we'd really appreciate a link, either in a post, or on your permanent favorite links list. Tell us about it, and we'll link your blog or page back to our "Thanks for the Link" section. We'll keep the latest ten or twenty on the list, depending on how much response we get.

Minions #44 - Off the Beam

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

Our New Look (and a call for links)

As you can see, we're making lots of cosmetic changes here. We've added direct links to buy my books, we have links for the Minions store, and there's a new "Thanks for the Link" feature that we'd like to point out. We need to get out word about "Minions at Work" to the world a large. If you have a blog or web page, we'd really appreciate a link, either in a post, or on your permanent favorite links list. Tell us about it, and we'll link your blog or page back to our "Thanks for the Link" section. We'll keep the latest ten or twenty on the list, depending on how much response we get.

About Those Shirts

We ordered some samples from our new Cafe Press shop and they came in this week. I got an "Exploding Silo" tee for myself, a "Evil Nature" ringer tee for Chris, and a toddler "Evil Nature" tee that is a hit with everybody we've showed it to. Chris and I will be modeling our tees at Radcon, and the toddler tee will be mailed off to a very special young model. Hopefully I'll have pictures to share here pretty soon.

So far, I've very pleased with the quality of the merchandise and the level of service. Things were sent promptly, communication was excellent, and we got a UPS tracking number to follow our package across country. Plus, the shirts look great. I really should include the URL here in the design though, so I'll be making changes down the road. Hey, these early-design shirts could turn out to be valuable collectors items (yeah, right), so get them while they last.

Personal appearance update:

Chris and I are (weather permitting) scheduled to appear at the Radcon Gaming and Science Fiction convention, Feb. 16-18 in Pasco, Washington. Many other cool people there, including science fiction legend Larry Niven, authors (and definitely cool people) John Dalmas and Jay Lake, and science fiction artist Bill Warren (I've got several of his pieces in my personal collection).

It should be great fun based on our experience last year. If you're in the northwest, I encourage you to drop by and say hi.

Update

We're now running on Blogger 2. I've had to update the template that controls how things look, so I've made a few changes. I've added links to the sidebar for the Lair of Merchandise, and so you can purchase some of our recent books from other on-line vendors. I've also added some now graphics over there.

Please let me know if you have comments, complaints, or if you notice any glitches in the translation.

Thanks,

- Steve, Format Overlord

Minions #42 - Briefing, Plus Bonus #43!

Be sure to check the end of the post for a special bonus Minions at Work, in honor of the new season of 24. (Which is, of course, 42 backwards.)



Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Bonus Minons!



(Okay, I'll confess here, that I've never actually watched 24, though it comes highly recommended. In fact, I still have the season one boxed set in shrink wrap, waiting for a seriously dead week (I've been warned not to start it unless I'm ready to finish it, soonest...)

A better link for the Cafe Press shop

When I tried looking at Minions at Work from my laptop in an effort to order some of my own shirts (two for Chris and I to wear to an upcoming science fiction convention, and one to send to the granddaughter) I couldn't see the banners with the links! Seems something (probably Norton) was blocking them as banner ads. So here's another try. Link to the shop here.

And here's the plain text link, that ANYBODY should be able to cut and paste into their browser.

I'm going to be updating the Template that controls the appearance of Minions at Work in the next day or so. It may cause some minor glitches in the short term, but it will allow me to use new Blogger tools which make changing things (like adding a link to the shop into the sidebar) much easier. So if you check in and things look funny, don't panic. Post a comment (preferably to this post) to let me know what's happening and I'll get it fixed.

Thanks!

-Steve, Evil Overlord of Templates

Minions #42 - Out There

Click on image for full-sized version.

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Notes from the Minion Master:

Remember, if your shirt is not red, you will live forever. Okay, maybe not forever, but at least you won't get all the salt sucked out of your body by a rubber monster before the first commercial.

By now, you must be asking yourself, "oh, wise Minion Master, where can I possibly find a shirt that is not red?" Funny you should ask...


Introducing (in case you didn't already read our mid-week post announcing it) the brand new, long-in-the-works-but-not-released-until-now Minions at Work Lair of Merchandise! Because nobody demanded it, we've set up a Cafe Press shop with a whole range of Minions goodies, from hats and tee-shirts, to office accessories, to a Minions teddy-bear. Pretty much nothing is beneath us if it will make us a buck or two. (And that's about all it will make us, but every little bit help offset the ongoing expense of bringing you Minions at Work every week. Of course, you could also just buy a pile of our books. I wouldn't complain.) Maybe my favorite item: A "Walking the dinosaur" dog tee-shirt, based on Minions #17.

The designs are still in flux, so we appreciate your ideas and comments.

To start shopping, just click on the logo below...

All our shirts are guaranteed not to be red. We make no promises though, if you wear one of our Minions shirts and start calling yourself "Number 13." That's your call.

And what if you're the kind of lazy, cheap, no-good mooch who just reads Minions at Work every week and does nothing at all to support it, not even inflicting it upon their friends? Well, actually we're kinda good with that. It is, after all, evil, and that's where we're coming from...

- Steve, Minion Master

Buy Minions Gear!

Now, just too-late for Christmas, the brand new, long-in-the-works-but-not-released-until-now Minions at Work Lair of Merchandise! Because nobody demanded it, we've set up a Cafe Press shop with a whole range of Minions goodies, from hats and tee-shirts, to office accessories, to a Minions teddy-bear. Pretty much nothing is beneath us if it will make us a buck or two (and that's about all it will make us). Though sorry, no "Weapons of Moderate Destruction" are currently offered. Maybe my favorite item: A "Walking the dinosaur" dog tee-shirt, based on Minions #17.

The designs are still in flux, so we appreciate your ideas and comments.

To start shopping, just click on the logo below...

Minions #41 - Don't Look Now

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Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!

Notes from the Minion Master:
Happy New Year to all of you out in Minion-land.

A big Minion-welcome to Doctor Coldblood, the first of our Evil Overlords to make an on-screen appearance. Coldblood's evil plan is to use his artificial volcanic lair to spew greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, thus creating a greenhouse effect that will heat the Earth back to what he considers dinosaur-friendly temperatures. Of course, his volcano is still years from completion, and Doctor Coldblood doesn't get out much. He's going to be so cheesed off when he finally reads a newspaper or turns on the Discovery Channel.

We'll be seeing more of him, and some of the other Evil Overlords, as time goes on.

-Steve, Minion Master

Minions #40 - Seasonal Work

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Happy holidays to you folks, whatever flavor you may chose to celebrate (even if it's only "Annual Go to an Uncrowded Movie Day"), and our best Minions wishes to you and yours.

Well, come heck or high-water, we managed to pull our special Christmas Minions at Work off. Yet another storm is blowing through, and the lights have been flickering, but if I can just send this post before the pow

CLICK

Minions #39 - Dancing in the Dark

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Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!

A Status Report from the Lair:

This could have easily been the week without Minions. While things have been quiet with the Gulf-coast's hurricane season, the global-warming demons seem to have moved over to the Pacific, where we're seeing our worst storms in over a decade. Last week, Minions Studios was lashed by 90+ MPH winds, cut from civilization by closed roads, and plunged into darkness and cold for seemingly endless days.

Well, the lights are back on here at the Lair, but just barely, and I wouldn't call things "back to abnormal" by a long-shot. We've got power, but many of our friends and neighbors don't. (One friend still has four 40 foot trees down across his driveway, and all his utility lines, plus his vehicle is trapped behind those trees. Of course, the trees could have landed ON his truck, or his house, so it could be worse.)

Obviously, Minions hasn't been foremost on my mind, the technology on which the Lair depends has mostly been down, and the inventory was looking pretty thin. But sitting here, trapped in the cold and the dark, you learn things. You learn to hang in there. You learn to make do with whatever resources you have. And there, in the black, sometimes inspiration will strike.

So here you go. Back from the black, Minions-style.

Next week (major acts-of-God aside) come back for a special Holiday Minions.

See you then.

- Steve, Minion-Master and Under-the-Weather-Overlord.

Cat got your email? You may be a WINNAH!

As promised, I'm happy to announce the winner for the brand new ALIAS novel signed by the author (and also my wife) Christina F. York. Sorry I didn't do this sooner, but there were technical issues extracting the list of names for me to work out. And then there was the matter of how to randomly pick just the right slip of paper. For help with this, I called on our Cat Sydney, named after ALIAS super-spy Sydney Bristow, and adopted just after Chris finished the book. Take it away Sydney!



And so, the winner is:

(cue the drum-roll Minion...)

WILDWOLFCAJUN!

Congratulations, my friend. If you haven't already answered my private email, please send me a mailing address, and we'll get that book right out to you!

Thanks to everyone who participated, and members of our weekly reminder list can look forward to other drawings down the road.