Minions #303 - Workforce Reduction

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Greetings, Overstaffs and expendables!


Yes, we know the copyright on this still says 2011!  Can you say, "inventory?"  I knew that you could!

This week's cartoon is brought to you by a sneak-peek at a cover mock-up for my new Panorama Beach Mystery, "A Breath Away from Dying!"  This is the second in my series, featuring green deputy "Mustang" Sawtell and the corrupt Florida panhandle paradise of Panorama Beach.

Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell knows there's something wrong with the scene when he responds to a prowler call at the Aquarama aquarium and underwater-show, and finds a dead mermaid laying on the shore of the Mermaid Grotto. But he's dismissed from the case by a treacherous superior officer, who bungles the investigation and rules her death an accident. So when Sheriff "Big" Bass asks him to take a secretive, off-duty, second look at the case, he's eager to please despite the danger. But there are deep secrets, cut-throat business, old-flames, and hidden agendas waiting for him, and before Mustang knows which way the tide is running, he'll be in hot water -- face-to-face with a killer! 


Welcome to Panorama Beach, Florida, 1967, where the sand is white as sugar, the attractions are larger-than-life, and the money is all dirty and rolling in like a storm tide! Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell is the new badge in town, and he just wants to do the right thing. But he's fallen under the wing of his dangerous and morally compromised boss, Sherriff "Big" Bass, who calls himself "the best devil money can buy." Big Bass will tell you that he may be a little bad, but anybody who replaces him will be even worse. Mustang would really like to believe that -- because otherwise, this good-old-boy may have just booked himself on a rocket-ride to hell!

"A Breath Away from Dying" is in production, and should start appearing at your favorite ebook outlet very soon now.  Meanwhile, you can catch up on Mustang's first adventure in "The Best Devil Money Can Buy," available on Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iBookstore, Sony and all other major ebook sellers!

See you guys back here next week!

                                            - Mystery-master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Minions #286 - Lost Patrol

Click Cartoon for Bigger Capacity (not really)

Stand by, following the usual strap-hanging for an abrupt stop by your Minion Master!

  Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the razor monkeys just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

Join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) Eventually I'm getting No. 1 his own account for Minions-related-business, but one thing at a time. Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

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Belated greetings, Minions fans!


Sorry we've been missing-in-action the last week and a half.  We had a family tragedy which I will not bring you all down by going into, but trust to say that it was bad.


Mrs. Minion Master and I are fine (physically, anyway) though, and despite our neighbor's efforts to drop a 70 foot spruce on us (I blame the Forces of Good) the lair is intact as well.  So we will be working on restoring our battered psyches, and working on Minion at Work is exactly the kind of fun distraction I need in these troubled times.  So hopefully, as summer  winds down, I'll be going back into serious photo-shoots again, and adding some nifty upgrades to the Minion apparatus.  And hopefully there will be no more unplanned disruptions of our schedule.


So, sadness for us, fun for you!  It's just the way that evil works...


- Minion Master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Minions #149 - Belt Tightening Makes Me Hungry

In the event of a water landing, this cartoon can be used as a flotation device. Click on picture to inflate to full size.


Stand by, following some new commercial jibber-jabber for a time-out from your Minion Master!

Your visit is important to us. For your convenience, please put us in your will, then walk off the nearest cliff. Try to land on your head. Thank you.

NEW! SUPPORT "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY!
We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!

Later, we'll be adding a selection of Minion-recommended merchandise, but until then, use your imagination. Books, videos, electronics, games, maybe even ACTION FIGURES!
Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.



While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Naughty is as naughty does!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

Greetings, Stay-at-homes!

Well, we're back from Florida. Really enjoyed the writer's conference and our four days at the space center (still not enough time!).

The plane trip on United Airlines? Not so much. I tell you, that outfit has some SERIOUS Evil Overlords in charge. But we got home without them killing us (unless this post-travel crud Mrs. Minion Master and I have does us in) so that's something.

I had really planned to shoot a new Minions for this week, but I just wasn't feeling up to it. Fortunately, I laid in some inventory before I left. Actually, I like this one quite a bit, and it is timely.

See you next week. Meanwhile, support the site by clicking through our Amazon link above and buy yourself a book. Maybe something by Chris or I.

Or not.

Actually, it would be better if you clicked through and bought a gigantic plasma TV. Yeah. That would be much better.

What the heck. Go for it. Tell them I sent you.

- Your parasite on the side of a failing economy: Steve

Minions #131 - Deep End

Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a secret message from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your bank account and personal information to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a end-of-summer message from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Back-seat Drivers!

We've finally progressed far enough with recovering from the computer crash to edit and post a new cartoon. More soon as I try to make up for the two Mondays we missed.

Between recovering data from the crashed hard-drive, transfering it to the new machine, and migrating from XP to Vista (necessitating some software upgrades, including a new version of Paint Shop Pro, the photo editor we use, it's taken a lot longer than I thought.

As of this moment, the new computer is still sitting on the living room floor hooked up to our big TV, but I hope to pull out the old computer and move it into the office tonight or tomorrow morning. Then we can get a little more back to business as usual.

- Missing Minion Master Steve

Bonus Minions #107 - Earth Day

(Okay, I felt funny not getting out a regular cartoon this week at just about the same time I realized I hadn't done anything for Earth Day. So this is what I came up with.)


(Click on cartoon for full-sized version)

Minions #91 - Having a Blast

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Don't miss the latest reality programming from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial rerun...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Counting down to a new message from your Fearless (more or less) Leader:

Greetings, Blast Deflectors,


Some friendly seasonal advice here: Always remember to read and follow the operating instructions. This applies to nuclear death missiles, or Christmas lights. Just sayin'.

Hey, if you haven't seen them, I posted a few photos from my Las Vegas trip last week. Find them here.

Lots to catch up on now that I'm home (including shooting some new MaW panels, so I'll keep this short. See you back here next week.

-Steve

Minions #80 - Head in a Maze

Click on cartoon for full-sized version.

Don't miss the latest ravings of a lunatic madman, your Minion Master, following the usual annoying noise...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"If you're not 100% satisfied, then the beatings will begin!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Please proceed left-right-left-left-right-left-right-right-right-left-right to our weekly message:

Greetings, Misdirections,


Yes, summer is officially over. School has started again, and your Evil-Overlords have reclaimed your bodies, if not your minds, from your summer vacation. But now we're approaching the time of harvest, when our thoughts naturally turn to old-fashioned corn mazes filled with trip-wire laser-cannon, electrified walls, and alligator pits. Ah, nostalgia!

Speaking of working hard or hardly working, just based on our piddly Minions Reminder List numbers, I'm still not seeing the traffic around here that I'd like to. That means that you've been shluffing off. Of course, I really shouldn't expect any more than that from my Minions, and yet I do. Please do your part and share a favorite "Minions at Work" cartoon with a friend, message group, or mailing list, today! Me and all the guys and gals in their tightie-whities here surely appreciate it!

- Steve

Minions #62 - Mismanagement Meeting

Click image for full-sized version.
Check the sidebar to your right for our new video trailer! A new way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

Please report to the briefing room for an important message from the Minion Master:

"Good news everybody! Some of you won't be getting pay cuts! You'll be unemployed!"


Things have been a bit silly here lately, so I decided it was high time to put away the fart-jokes for a bit and get back to the workplace humor that I see as the core of the strip.

I confess, I like this one a lot. I think all of us have been in this moment, when you're feeling good about a place your working, and then it all turns bad, and you suddenly get that sick feeling in your stomach when you realize that the captain of you little ship of industry and/or commerce doesn't have a clue what they're doing.

And really, there's nothing more embarrassing than realizing that they person in charge of a company doesn't even have a clue what the company even does. "We're not selling septic-tank clean-outs people, we're selling smiles and a warm handshake." Yeah, just not clear on the concept.

(Whoops, almost got back to fart-joke territory there, but you know what I mean.)

Hey, you guys can help me out here. Since I'm not currently a wage slave, I'd love to hear your work stories, your idiot boss stories, your idiot customer stories, your idiot co-worker stories, and the things that go on around you that you just can't believe. Anything that might inspire a good "Minions at Work" cartoon. You can send them as feedback, or if you prefer to be more private about it, send it email. I'd love to hear from you.

Till next week, keep passing the links.

- Steve

Minions #58 - Blue Collar in Black and White

Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Shoplifters cheerfully disintegrated!

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(It's only as bad as you think it is!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

An after-work Martini-gram from from Minion Central:

Greetings, Real Minions,


As you may have noted, we had some problems with the images in our Cafe Press stores last week, but they were fixed over the weekend and everything seems to be back in order.

This marks the second appearance of the "other-Minions." Our guys last ran into them in this very same bar back in Minions #25. So I started to wonder, "who are these guys?" Now, maybe they just work for some other overlord, but our guys get around, and something about those yellow helmets and translucent sleeves somehow suggested that they were dedicated techies of some sort. And given that, could there be some friction with our work-a-day Minions? Quite possibly. I'll bet these guys have quite a rivalry when they play softball at the company picnic...

Anyway, I doubt this is the last you'll see of these guys. Since, in the novel I'm working on, I've dubbed our original Minions "White Team," then let's call these guys "Blue Team."

(By the way, does anybody else think that Mike Rowe of Discovery Channel's program Dirty Jobs really needs to hook up with the Minions?)


See you next week...

- Steve, Master of Multiple Minions

Minions #25 - Two Minions Walk into a Bar

Click Image for Larger Version

Goofy jump-suits. They just seem to go with the job.

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