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Monday, March 12, 2012

Minions #311 - Spin Doctoring

Click for bigger PAC money!



Greetings, Fringe-groups and Core Constituencies!


Hey, we only occasionally get political here at Minions at Work.  But considering some of the clowns and nut-jobs who have managed to get themselves on the national radar this election season, you can't blame us for at least poking fun at the process.  Especially not the part where the candidate, who appeals only to a loyal base consisting only of one-eyed, one-armed, left-handed neo-Nazi, anime-loving, poodle breeders, and who sends everyone else screaming for the exits, is "rebranded" in an attempt to appeal to a broader audience.


Let's face it folks, the old saying is true: you can't make a silk-purse out of a genetically engineered dinosaur-man, no matter what color Kool-aid you make him drink.


Just sayin.'


See you guys back here next week!


                       - Muddled Message Minion Master Steve




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Monday, March 05, 2012

Minions #310 - Pay Per View

Click Cartoon for Greater Enlightenment



Greetings, Seekers and Suckers!


Occasionally we must all pay the price of Minion enlightenment, so I'm pleased to announce that Mrs. Minion Master (writing under her pen-name of Christy Fifield) has a new mystery novel coming out in trade paperback and ebook tomorrow (Monday, March 6th, 2012) from the fine folks at Berkley Prime Crime.  It's called "Murder Buys a T-Shirt," and it's the first in a new series of mysteries set in the Florida Panhandle, and set in a -- wait for it -- haunted souvenir shop!  Yes, there are dead bodies, tacky post-cards, clue-delivering ghosts, and a foul-mouthed parrot that will make you laugh out loud!  Surely you or some mystery lover you know will enjoy it!  Make it happen!

Better yet, make it happen in the first couple days of release, when even a small spike in numbers can really help a book's long-term success!

Why?  Because the Minions need support to keep up our evil activities, and whatever Mrs. Minion Master makes is community property!  Half of that cash is mine, baby!  We're EVIL dammit!

So order a copy right now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powell's Books, your favorite local bookseller, or on your favorite device! Do it now!  Your Minion Master commands it!

See you next week!

        - Minion Shillmaster Steve


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Monday, February 27, 2012

Minions #309 - Bug Busters

Click to Cross (Bigger) Beams!



Greetings, Pests and Pesticides!


This week I've pulled a couple of officially licensed toys out of the collection here to pay tribute to a couple of movies I love, Ghostbusters and Starship Troopers. Ghostbusters is a comedy classic, and reports have circulated the last couple of years that a new sequel is in development.  Just as many reports have circulated that Bill Murray doesn't want to do it, and that it won't go without Murray.  I can't say if that's a good thing or not.  Ghostbusters II was less than a masterpiece.  But the concept is simply too wonderful not to revive in some form.

The 1/6th scale Ghostbusters Ray figure here is one of a limited edition set that was made by Mattel a couple years back, and sold only through their web-site.  They made a whole set, but the budget here precluded my getting more than one.  Still, the wonderful little ghost-trap and proton pack are the real attractions, and they were identical on every figure, so in a sense, get one, get them all.

When I first saw director Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, I was a bit mystified by it, and very disappointed it didn't included the powered armor than had been a highlight of the book, and that I'd been waiting to see in a movie since I read it back in the 60s. I didn't come away hating it, but I wasn't sure if I liked it either.  But it had it's moments, the bugs looked great, and to my mind Doogie Howser M.D. marching around in a pseudo S.S. uniform was just awesome.

But a year or two back I happened to pick up the DVD in the bargain bin, just for the bonus material, and watched it again.  To my surprise, I loved it.  It's a brilliantly subversive film that parodies Heinlein's border-line fascism basically by playing it straight (and just a little over the top).  Essentially, it's an old-time propaganda movie created by a fascist state we're supposed to be horrified.  Basically, if you watch carefully, you'll see the the whole war is based on a tissue of lies, and that there clearly other agendas at work.  In many ways, it would have been considered a brilliant parody of the second invasion of Iraq, except it happened first.

Yes, I still miss the powered armor, but you can get your temporary fix by rewatching the power-loader battle with the alien queen in Aliens.

So, it works on two levels, as a straight-forward, gung-ho, kick-butt action movie, and as political satire, and it does both very, very well.  I've watched it again since, and there's something new to think about every time.  Or don't think.  Just turn off your brain, sit back, and enjoy the explosions and carnage.  It's the movie for all occasions!

This Galoob movie-tie-in soldier-bug toy is a fortunate thrift-store find.  I think I paid $2 for him.  They're going for $10-25 loose on eBay, and over twice that in the box.  He's not really in scale with the Minions figures (he should probably be about twice as big) but he's still a big, impressive toy, and love the "chomp-chomp-chomp" sound effect it makes when you close his jaws on something!

There's also a new Starship Troopers movie in the works, possibly for 2014, though it's a long way from a sure thing.  I don't know if it will be any good, but by all reports, it will at least have powered armor this time.


Now on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY NEW PANORAMA BEACH MYSTERY, A BREATH AWAY FROM DYING!


Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell knows there's something wrong with the scene when he responds to a prowler call at the Aquarama aquarium and underwater-show, and finds a dead mermaid laying on the shore of the Mermaid Grotto. But he's dismissed from the case by a treacherous superior officer, who bungles the investigation and rules her death an accident. 


So when Sheriff "Big" Bass asks him to take a secretive, off-duty, second look at the case, he's eager to please despite the danger. 


But there are deep secrets, cut-throat business, old-flames, and hidden agendas waiting for him, and before Mustang knows which way the tide is running, he'll be in hot water -- face-to-face with a killer!


Welcome to Panorama Beach, Florida, 1967, where the sand is white as sugar, the attractions are larger-than-life, and the money is all dirty and rolling in like a storm tide! Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell is the new badge in town, and he just wants to do the right thing. 


But he's fallen under the wing of his dangerous and morally compromised boss, Sherriff "Big" Bass, who calls himself "the best devil money can buy." Big Bass will tell you that he may be a little bad, but anybody who replaces him will be even worse. Mustang would really like to believe that -- because otherwise, this good-old-boy may have just booked himself on a rocket-ride to hell!


Now on Kindle, Nook and Smashwords.  Coming soon to all major ebook sellers!


See you guys back here next week!

- Mystery Minion Master Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Minions #308 - Map Snacks (and some free fiction)

Click Cartoon for Extra Cheez!



Greetings, Garmins and Tomtoms!


We're late a day this week, and it's by design.  Guess I should have announced it ahead of time, but we had a good reason.  Nobody notices if we post an announcement of a new cartoon if we do it on a weekend or a major holiday, and Monday was a U.S. holiday, so we held back till Tuesday.  In fact, you can pretty much assume we will do that for EVERY major U.S. holiday that falls over a Monday.  I know the little fine print at the bottom of each cartoon says, "New Minions Every Monday!", but that's a lie.  We're EVIL, dammit!  So deal.

Monday was also the 50th anniversary of the first flight of John Glenn, the first American astronaut into orbit, and in honor of that, my wife, Mrs. Minion Master, AKA multi-published author Christina F. York (AKA mystery writers Christy Evans and Christy Fifield.  Yes, she has aliases.  We're EVIL dammit!) has decided to make one of her favorite science-fantasy stories available for free over on her blog.  It's an alternate-history story about John Glenn, and it's called Godspeed.  Check it out here.

See you guys back here next week.  Maybe even on Monday.

                       - Master Monday Mover Steve
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Monday, February 13, 2012

Minions #307 - Sweet Deception

Click for Double Scoops!



Greetings, Sweet Tooths!


I think this week's cartoon has something metaphorically do do with Valentine's Day traditions.  Or maybe homoerotically.  Not really sure on that.  Probably don't want to go there anyway.

Oh, well, a shortage of female Minions has minimized the number of traditional dating and relationship cartoons we've done over the years, but stay tuned.  Later in the post, I'll re-run a couple of my favorites from the past!  But first, a word from our sponsor!

In honor of Valentine's Day, today's cartoon is brought to you by the romance novels of Mrs. Minion Master, Christina F. York!  Maybe not your cup of tea (and if they are, I sure won't tell!) but I'm sure you know some lady who would enjoy them as a gift!  Check them out!
All are also available on Barnes & Noble Nook, iBooks, Kobo, Sony, and other major ebook outlets.

 Okay, now time for those bonus cartoons I promised!
See you folks back here at the Lair next week!

- Minion Master Steve


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Monday, February 06, 2012

Minions #306 - Let Sleeping Mu Shu Lie

Click Cartoon for larger portions and side of egg roll!



Greetings Chop Sticks and Soy Saucers!


Today's Minions at Work cartoon is brought to you by my ebook, Dead Ringers.  In a near future where computer-driven holographic headstones reanimate the dead, the living are left with phantoms made of memories, real and imagined.  Two stories of electronic ghosts that continue to haunt the living.  First, a woman confronts the hologram an abusive spouse only to learn that some things are best left forgotten.  Next, a young girl "kidnaps" the headstone of her dead boyfriend to save him from his parents, who threaten to erase everything the she loved about him.  On the run from the law, the present, and the past, she and her fantastic holographic lover race his car towards a rocky cliff where death may just become a little more final the second time around!

Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and other major ebook dealers.

See you folks back here next week!

- Minion Master Steve






Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Minions #305 - Don't Diss the Messenger

Click Cartoon for Bigger Civility



Greetings, Lunch breaks and Unpaid Holidays!


Yeah, I'm a little late this week.  I was busy finishing up "A Breath Away from Dying," my second "Panorama Beach" mystery.  It's off being copy edited, and hopefully will be available in ebook in a few weeks, depending on how the production pipeline goes.  So forgive the heck out of me for doing something that will actually make me some money!

Anyway, I'm enjoying the heck out of doing this series.  Sheriff "Big" Bass is the best evil overlord I've come up with yet, and his reluctant minion, Deputy Tommy "Mustang" Sawtell, is even more fun.  These books are set in 1967 in Panorama Beach, a fictional Florida panhandle resort packed with sugar-white beaches, amusement parks, outrageous miniature golf courses, reptile shows, aquatic parks, and of course, corruption of all kinds, not to mention a murder here or there.  Come on down to beautiful Panorama Beach, where vacation is murder!


See you guys back here next week!

               - Mystery Master Steve

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