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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Minions #138 - Terminated Employment


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Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a generous severance package from your Minion Master!

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your precious metals to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a few words of comfort from your Minion Master.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores. Or, just name us in your will, and take up dangerous hobbies like crocodile-pit bungee-jumping or sky-diving with a sheet. It's just that easy!

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)



Greetings, Minion Mourners!


You know, when I came up with this week's cartoon, it was before last week's unfortunate "Black Friday" trampling death of a temporary Wal-Mart employee by a mob of bargain-hunting yahoos. Because, you know, that would have been in even worse taste than usual.

But it does serve as a reminder that those who work in retail, especially at this time of year, are our Minion brothers and sisters. They too toil thanklessly for their Evil Overlord Masters. Working long hours for low pay and little or no benefits is bad enough. Nobody should lose their life over it.

So a moment of Minion silence for our fallen fellow, and our sympathy to his family.

And for the millions of other Retail Minions out there, a salute to you too.

For those of your reading, I hope each of you will think of this, and cut them a little extra slack through this holiday season. A smile or a kind word might go a long way towards making their day suck just a little less.

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

I had an email from a reader Phil M. the other day, asking where we get all the cool props that we use in our Minions at Work photo shoots. I thought the answer might interest other readers as well. But on the other hand, that's not everyone's cup of poison tea, so rather than answering here, I put an illustrated post on my hobby-blog, One-Sixth. You can find the post here.

That's it till next time.


- Your Minion Undertaker, Steve.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Minions #137 - Quiet Riot



Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a generous severance package from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your precious metals to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message of real change from your Maverick Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Greetings, Livid Bruises!


Here we are again. Some weeks I just get tired of the Minions just sitting and standing around. Every once in a while it's good to put some action into things. I don't know how funny this is, but it does have action!

Speaking of action, here's a little plug for another action-figure-photo-comic that I enjoy. Alien Loves Predator has recently returned from a hiatus. It's the story of what happens when two single, male, aliens share an apartment in New York. Be warned, this strip often isn't office or family-friendly, and it has something to offend everyone. But it makes me laugh on a regular basis, and I'm glad to have it back. If you're up for it, check it out here.

By the way, I noticed a couple of new things on my Blogger control panel. Turns out, Minions at Work has followers! Actually, this is a new feature that makes it easier to follow your favorite blogs (like this one, natch), and as a bonus, you can get your little icon to appear on blogs that have the proper widget installed. So I've installed one here. Look for it in our sidebar, and just click the link there if you'd like to add yourself as a follower.

For those of you in the U.S., have a happy Thanksgiving. For the rest of the world: suck it up, dudes. Just another week. Either way, see you next time...


- Your Minion Man of Action, Steve.


And don't forget to run out and spend your last few dollars on that
new anthology with a great new story by Mrs. Minion Master! It's called "Witch High," and features stories by 14 top authors about the students of Salem Township Public High-school #4." Sure, Halloween is over, but don't let the fun end there!

BUY "WITCH HIGH" ON AMAZON NOW!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Minions #136 - Suspended Employment




Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a generous severance package from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your precious metals to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message of real change from your Maverick Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Greetings, Surplus Manpower!


On time two weeks in a row! How soon can we get lazy and start coasting again?

Anyway, here we are with another one of those pesky "topical" cartoons. You know what that means. Just apply where it hurts until the pain goes away.

Or something.

Well, listen, we've got things to do and plots to hatch this week, so I'm going to cut it short. See you next time.

- your Terminator at work, Steve.


And don't forget to run out and spend your last few dollars on that
new anthology with a great new story by Mrs. Minion Master! It's called "Witch High," and features stories by 14 top authors about the students of Salem Township Public High-school #4." Sure, Halloween is over, but don't let the fun end there!

BUY "WITCH HIGH" ON AMAZON NOW!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Minions #135 - Spoilage



Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for some recycled, hybrid, carbon-neutral words from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your precious metals to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a post-election message from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Greetings, Curb-side cast-offs!


Ha! I'm back on time again! Don't get used to it!

Busy week here at at Lair, as Mrs. Minion Master Chris and I have gotten the chance to pitch some novels based on one of our favorite television shows, one that should be familiar to Minions-fans (fingers crossed, but no details until, and if, we get a go-ahead). Chris is buried trying to finish the second in her series of plumbing-themed mystery novels (coming soon from Berkley Prime Crime).

And we just got invited to speak at the Space-Coast Writer's Conference, to be held late-January in Cocoa Beach, Florida. Yes, I love our secret hide-away on the Oregon coast, but can I be persuaded into going to sunny Florida in the middle of winter? Why yes, I can!

Lots of other things in the work, but nothing I can talk about yet. Seems like now that the elections are over, the publishing world is suddenly moving again. Huzzah!

- your Secret Master of Fundom, Steve.


And don't forget to run out and spend your last few dollars on that
new anthology with a great new story by Mrs. Minion Master! It's called "Witch High," and features stories by 14 top authors about the students of Salem Township Public High-school #4." Sure, Halloween is over, but don't let the fun end there!

BUY "WITCH HIGH" ON AMAZON NOW!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Minions #134 - Quality Work Environment



Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for some mental-health adjustment from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your precious metals to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a post-election message from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Greetings, Residents-of-a-world-where-there's-a-black-president-of-the-United-States-so-it-must-be-the-future-now-just-like-24-oh-no-now-they-have-a-WOMAN-president-there!


Okay, I'm late this week. Busy with a proposal on a cool potential writing project (a tie-in novel to a TV show that I love, and should be great fun if approved by the powers-that-be), and distracted by the elections.

Plus, Paint Shop Pro locked up Saturday just as I was finishing the edit. Yes, your dumb Minion Master had failed to save as he worked. So I had to carve out time to do it all over again from scratch. Lots of signs and graphics in this one, so it took a while.

Yes, it may seem like I'm getting lazy here. I do need to get myself more excited and inspired (your comments really help in this department), but I'm far from losing interest in the Minions. In fact, I just renewed the "MinionsAtWork.com" domain for another two years (more money down the Minion-hole), so I guess I'm committed. (Or is that, I SHOULD be committed?)

See you next week, maybe even on time.

- your long-suffering Master, Steve.


And don't forget to run out and spend your last few dollars on that
new anthology with a great new story by Mrs. Minion Master! It's called "Witch High," and features stories by 14 top authors about the students of Salem Township Public High-school #4." Just in time for Halloween! Buy a bunch of copies and corrupt all the little witches and warlocks that show up at your door!

BUY "WITCH HIGH" ON AMAZON NOW!