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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Minions #125 - Service with a Smile



Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a secret message from your Minion Master!

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a back-from-Vacation message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Poor Long Suffering Minions Fans!


This week, a special shout out to the crew at Hilltop, where the seating is always assigned. I know, that makes no sense to anybody, but they'll understand. Thanks for the lunches, guys!

Special congrats to Mrs. Minion Master, Chris, who just turned in the first of her upcoming (from Berkley Prime Crime) mystery novels to her editor. Yay, Chris! And speaking of Chris...

A Word -- actually, lots of them -- from Mrs. Minion Master:

New in stores, a great new fantasy anthology with a new story by Mrs. Minion Master, Christina F. York. It's called "Enchantment Place," edited by Denise Little. It's 17 original stories about a magical shopping destination in Chicago where the really unusual people shop for items you can scarcely imagine. And no, we don't mean Hot Topic!

Find it now at your local bookseller, or order from Amazon.


A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, August 18, 2008

Minions #124 - Out of Their Jurisdiction


Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a supposedly important and interesting message from your Minion Master.

CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a back-from-Vacation message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Poor Receptions!


You may be asking yourself, if you pay close attention to such things, "what the heck is General Zed doing running Doctor Coldblood's volcano lair?"

Well, the answer is simple. Is isn't Doctor Coldblood's volcano lair. It's General Zed's volcano lair. General Zed completely came up with it first. Ask anybody and they'll tell you. As long as it's General Zed, anyway.

Like it really matters, I suppose. Lairs are built from mail-order kits, like big Lego sets. Send off a few billion dollars by PayPal, wait a few weeks for delivery, and then snap together the modular walls, tunnels, and death traps into a configuration of your liking. Even if it just happens to look exactly like the Super Villain down the block...

A Word -- actually, lots of them -- from Mrs. Minion Master:

New in stores, a great new fantasy anthology with a new story by Mrs. Minion Master, Christina F. York. It's called "Enchantment Place," edited by Denise Little. It's 17 original stories about a magical shopping destination in Chicago where the really unusual people shop for items you can scarcely imagine. And no, we don't mean Hot Topic!

Find it now at your local bookseller, or order from Amazon.


A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, August 11, 2008

Minions #123 - Pengions



CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a back-from-Vacation message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Flightless-ones!


Yes, I'm officially back, and so are the Minions.

It was a good trip, if tiring. I'm really having doubts about going back to Comicon unless I have a specific business reason to do so. It's a great place to go as a fan to see stuff, and it's great place for the Big Guys to go to promote something, but for the middle-to-little guys to promote, or especially to do business, it's just too big, loud, and distracting. There are other, more effective ways of getting things done.

So anyway, I've seen the Legion of Doom back into their holes to hatch some new evil schemes. I notice we didn't get a lot of comments on the Overlords at Work cartoons. Does that mean you didn't like them? If so, was it that you didn't like my jokes, or the repeated board-room layouts for a month, or that you just didn't like the Overlords at all?

Let me know. We aim to please.

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, August 04, 2008

Overlords #122 - Democracy in Action


Hey! I dare you to click the above panel! I double dare you! I DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU! What are you? CHICKEN?

Bah! Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...


Greetings, Insignificant Scum!


You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.