Home - About the Minions - About the Overlords

Showing posts with label Number 9. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Number 9. Show all posts

Monday, July 02, 2012

Minions #325 - Troublesome Clogs


Yes, we totally missed last week, without even a note of explanation.  As I've said before, we've been dealing with an ongoing family health emergency that has just has us overloaded, and in addition, I had a story due on deadline for a real, live, paying anthology, and that took priority for the little time I did have.  The good news, health emergency getting less "emerg" as time goes on, the story is turned in on time (another in my "Clockwork Cowboy" steampunk western series, if you were curious), and we have a new cartoon for you this week, right on time!  Hey, you were probably on vacation and didn't even notice we were missing?  Did you?  DID YOU?  Didn't think so!
Click Cartoon for Bigger Plunger!
See you guys back here next week!

                             - Minion Master Steve
Help save us from time-consuming work in the lucrative writing field! Support starving Minions in Lair-land by dropping a little something in our tip jar! Your donations support Minions at Work!
 

Monday, June 18, 2012

Minions #324 - Lesser of Two Evils

Click Cartoon for a Bigger Mess!



Greetings, Plungers and Low-flows!


Today's cartoon is brought to you by "Westward Weird," a great collection stories that put science-fiction and fantasy spins on tales of the old-west, including my steampunk western story, The Clockwork Cowboy!


Though I wrote "Clockwork Cowboy" as a stand-alone story, Liberty Brass, the damaged Confederate clockwork artilleryman hero of my story was too good to just let be.  While "The Clockwork Cowboy" takes place later in his adventures, it raised so many questions about his past that I decided to skip back to his origins and start writing forward from there.  

The first follow-on story, "The Unwinding of Liberty Brass," is a prequel, flashing back to just after Liberty Brass parted ways with the Army of the Confederacy after the battle at Gettysburg.  He's a broken man, literally, and figuratively, but a chance encounter will change his life, force him to choose between death, and the path that will lead him to become the Clockwork Cowboy of legend.
Click to order from Amazon
And I'm happy to report that in just a few weeks, the next installment in the adventures of the Clockwork Cowboy will start appearing in ebook stores, and it's his biggest and wildest yet!

As Liberty Brass and his amazing clockwork horse, Piston, make their way west, they are first attacked by a clockwork highwayman.  They have no sooner subdued their attacker when they are all taken prisoner by a mysterious pair of clockwork men named Copperpot and Kettle, and taken to a forgotten plantation house deep in the Kentucky hills, ruled by the wondrous Steam Man.  At first it seems a utopia, where mechanical men live in peace, free from the wars of men, and work for their common good.

 But there are secrets here, deep as a mine shaft, and dark as Kentucky coal, and Liberty learns that the price of truth just might be the loss of his freedom -- or his mechanical life!
A Preview of the Cover for "The Steam Man's Plantation/"
Watch this space for further announcements!

See you folks back here next week!

            - Clockwork Minion Master Steve


Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Minions #321 - We're Sunk!

Click Cartoon for Bigger Bomb!


Greetings, Studio Execs and Mini-Moguls!


I've got to tell you, sometimes this comic is guided by powers beyond my control or understanding.  Take tonight.  It's been a stressful week here at the lair, dealing with some serious family health issues (all of which seem to be resolving well, knock on unobtainium), and arrived home tonight, short of sleep, after a day mostly spent in the car driving mountain roads, and with no new comic to post.  I didn't even have a germ of an idea.

And part of me said, "screw it, it can just be late this week, or I can take a week off!  There are more important things, and I'm due!"  But I took a few minutes to wander over to the Minions at Work stage and look around for some inspiration.  And I picked up a box of assorted props that I hadn't look at in I-don't-know-how-long.  And my hand fell on a tiny replica of a Battleship TM game!  No, fate had decreed that sleep would be a while in coming.

Now, if you didn't know it, the "Battleship" movie opened in U.S. theaters this weekend, where it promptly caught fire, capsized, and sank.  Based on weekend box-office numbers, it looks to follow "John Carter" as this summer's second big-budget flop.

Now, part of me feels bad about this, because there are some nice folks over at Hasbro, which makes the Battleship game these days, and of course, I'm a huge fan of their classic GI Joe line, and have always had a soft-spot for the Transformers too.  But for the life of me, I can't understand how a movie like Battleship ever seemed like a good idea to anyone.

I mean, first of all, the idea that the game is a strong enough property to hang a major movie on pretty questionable.  I mean, there aren't even any characters (unless you count the plucky PT boat defending its two peg holes)!  But then, who thought, "let's turn it into an alien invasion movie?  And then pack it full of effects that look like outtakes from Transformers: Dark of the Moon!"  

This isn't the eighties folks!  You can't just blame it all on the cocaine!

But wait...  Maybe this isn't as insane an idea as it seems!  How's this for an alien-invasion "Battleship" movie premise:

Battleship

The nuclear aircraft carrier USS George Washington is scheduled to arrive at San Francisco harbor, but just off shore, the vessel slows to a stop and begins to drift.  There are no signs of damage or distress, but the ship doesn't answer.  When a helicopter is sent to investigate, the ship is empty, the crew missing.  There is no sign of a struggle, no sign of violence.  The crew has simply vanished...

Meanwhile, back at the Pentagon, Admiral Distinguished (played by a distinguished elder actor with a certain kind of rough grit, Clint Eastwood being the perfect choice, but there are others) and his talented but abrasive new aid, Commander Studmuffin, have been charged by the Joint Chiefs to get to the bottom of the mystery.  The Admiral is of course regarded as the greatest naval strategist of the modern age, and rapidly approaching retirement.  Commander Studmuffin is brilliant but insubordinate.  The Admiral, seeing his potential, has rescued him from a possible court-martial, and this is literally his last chance.

They soon learn that naval crews, only the very best, are disappearing all over the fleet, and when a Russian frigate is found adrift in the north Atlantic, the admiral realizes it isn't just happening to the US Navy.  He reaches out to a Russian admiral, and the two old cold-warriors face off.  The Russian is at first reluctant to admit the truth, but then is convinced to confirm that the same thing is happening to them.

Commander Studmuffin identifies a pattern in the disappearances, and is able to predict that the next disappearance will be the crew of a destroyer that his just left the very port they're at!  Radio communications are down, and a storm has grounded aircraft.  Fortunately, a small, plucky patrol boat is available that the Admiral commandeers to go after the destroyer and try and warn them.

They arrive, but too late!  They break out the fog and clouds to see a huge UFO hovering over the destroyer, which is trapped in a bubble of energy, like a fly in amber, a some kind of beam of energy scans the vessel.  A second beam sweeps the plucky patrol boat, which fires off a missile to try and distract the UFO.  This seems to work a little too well, as the UFO releases the destroyer and turns its attention on the little boat.  They try to escape, using every trick the Admiral and his aide can come up with, but it's not enough.  An energy field envelops the little vessel and...

The Admiral and the Commander wake up on the bridge of a ship.  A very OLD ship, though all the paint and equipment looks factory new.  They stagger out onto the gangways and look down on the deck of a vast battleship floating in a calm sea.  Below them, hundreds of sailors are pulling themselves from the deck, emerging from every hatch and passageway, dazed and confused.  Where are they, and how did they get on the deck of the U.S.S. Iowa, looking as new and ship-shape as when it set out for sea-trials in 1940...

Monday, April 16, 2012

Minions #317 - Anti-gravity

If you missed our BONUS cartoon Thursday and its real-life back-story, see it HERE!
Click Cartoon for Bigger Uplift!



Greetings, Intimates and Undergarments!


Well, it's been a time for celebration this last week, as some good friends of the Lair had an anniversary of sorts, and so did we (see the bonus cartoon and the post that goes with it for details).  Also, congrats to Mrs. Minion Master for turning in the new book in her "Haunted Souvenir Shop" mystery series (the first installment, "Murder Buys a T-Shirt" is available here and wherever books or ebooks are sold).

We're going to keep things short this week, as there's a big storm blowing in (somebody has been using the weather control machine to keep their coffee warm again) and we want to get this posted before any possible power failures (we blame the forces of good!).

See you guys next week.

                 - Minion Master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Bonus Minions #316 - Drywall Day!

Be Sure to Read Our Post for the Romantic, True Story of "Drywall Day!"
Click Cartoon for More On-the-job Romancing!
Hey, gang!  Welcome to a special, top-secret, mid-week "Minions at Work" update!  Why the bonus cartoon, and what the hell is "drywall day?"  Well, it's a very special anniversary, both for us here at the Lair, and for long-time friends of the Minions (and us), Rob and Ximena, and here's the untold story...

Way back when Mrs. Minion Master and I fled Eugene, Oregon, just ahead of the authorities to our present undisclosed-location, we cleverly disguised our new lair by buying a 1940s cottage with the intent of upgrading it to serve the forces of evil.  At some point about ten years ago we decided that we would convert the semi-attached garage into a new office for myself and my large collection of action-figures.  At this point, the Minions were but a glimmer in my eye.  We had no idea that the office would soon double as the photo-studio in which the Minions and their tiny world would take up residence.

We elected to take on the conversion ourselves, and to speed up the work, we called on a group of extra-friendly friends and had a "drywall party," kind of like a modern-day barn-raising, where we'd have plenty of hands to put up the sheet-rock on the walls.  And like I said, a good number of excellent friends showed up from near and far, including Rob and Ximena, who decided to car-pool over.  Just to show you the kind of friends they are, it was Rob's birthday and they came anyway.  (We did get him a cake, turning it into possibly history's only "drywall birthday party!)

Anyway, Rod and Ximena started out that weekend as a carpool, and ended it a couple, and they've been together ever since!  In fact, they're married, and a while back, moved from Oregon to sunny Arizona.  And apparently, they'd kept alive the memory of "Drywall Day" as a kind of anniversary for them.  As and I said, it has been ten years.  So when Ximena approached me about doing a special "Minions at Work" cartoon in honor of their anniversary, there was absolutely no way I could say no!

It was a bit of work though.  For example, I decided that I needed some Minion-scale surrogates (not look-alikes, that would have taken a lot more time and resources than we had) for Rob and Ximena, which was tough, considering we only had one female Minion, Number 67, and she didn't even remotely look the part.  But it was well-past time to diversify the crew, so I grabbed one of the Frankensteined Liv dolls I've been using to make female civilians and slapped a Minions uniform on her.  It was a rush job, and the fit of the uniform isn't great, but I think she turned out pretty good.  I'll try and tweak her look for future appearances, but she'll definitely be back.  There were other complications as well, like cutting sheets of 1/6th scale drywall!

And life threw us some curve-balls too, in the form of a major, seemingly life-threatening health scare for a family member, and Mrs. Minion Master was in the midst of finishing up her next mystery novel, which was already past deadline!

As always, there are things I wish we could have gotten better, but we got-er-done!

Anyway, happy tenth Drywall Day, guys (happy birthday too, Rob), and we'll be celebrating the birthday of the Lair here as well!

And we'll see everybody back here Monday for our regularly-scheduled Minion Madness!

               - Matrimonial Minion Master, Steve




Monday, April 09, 2012

Minions #315 - Unclear Course

Click Cartoon for Greater Ambiguity!



Greetings, Magnetic Deviations and Uncorrected Courses!


This being a holiday weekend, I'd normally wait to post this week's cartoon on Tuesday, but this is a SPECIAL week here at the lair, and we have a SECOND, TOP SECRET cartoon that will appear later in the week!  In fact, it's so secret, even WE don't know what it is yet!  But we'll come up with something!  Check back, oh, Thursday or so!

                 - Mysterious Minion Master, Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, March 05, 2012

Minions #310 - Pay Per View

Click Cartoon for Greater Enlightenment



Greetings, Seekers and Suckers!


Occasionally we must all pay the price of Minion enlightenment, so I'm pleased to announce that Mrs. Minion Master (writing under her pen-name of Christy Fifield) has a new mystery novel coming out in trade paperback and ebook tomorrow (Monday, March 6th, 2012) from the fine folks at Berkley Prime Crime.  It's called "Murder Buys a T-Shirt," and it's the first in a new series of mysteries set in the Florida Panhandle, and set in a -- wait for it -- haunted souvenir shop!  Yes, there are dead bodies, tacky post-cards, clue-delivering ghosts, and a foul-mouthed parrot that will make you laugh out loud!  Surely you or some mystery lover you know will enjoy it!  Make it happen!

Better yet, make it happen in the first couple days of release, when even a small spike in numbers can really help a book's long-term success!

Why?  Because the Minions need support to keep up our evil activities, and whatever Mrs. Minion Master makes is community property!  Half of that cash is mine, baby!  We're EVIL dammit!

So order a copy right now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powell's Books, your favorite local bookseller, or on your favorite device! Do it now!  Your Minion Master commands it!

See you next week!

        - Minion Shillmaster Steve


Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Minions #309 - Bug Busters

Click to Cross (Bigger) Beams!



Greetings, Pests and Pesticides!


This week I've pulled a couple of officially licensed toys out of the collection here to pay tribute to a couple of movies I love, Ghostbusters and Starship Troopers. Ghostbusters is a comedy classic, and reports have circulated the last couple of years that a new sequel is in development.  Just as many reports have circulated that Bill Murray doesn't want to do it, and that it won't go without Murray.  I can't say if that's a good thing or not.  Ghostbusters II was less than a masterpiece.  But the concept is simply too wonderful not to revive in some form.

The 1/6th scale Ghostbusters Ray figure here is one of a limited edition set that was made by Mattel a couple years back, and sold only through their web-site.  They made a whole set, but the budget here precluded my getting more than one.  Still, the wonderful little ghost-trap and proton pack are the real attractions, and they were identical on every figure, so in a sense, get one, get them all.

When I first saw director Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, I was a bit mystified by it, and very disappointed it didn't included the powered armor than had been a highlight of the book, and that I'd been waiting to see in a movie since I read it back in the 60s. I didn't come away hating it, but I wasn't sure if I liked it either.  But it had it's moments, the bugs looked great, and to my mind Doogie Howser M.D. marching around in a pseudo S.S. uniform was just awesome.

But a year or two back I happened to pick up the DVD in the bargain bin, just for the bonus material, and watched it again.  To my surprise, I loved it.  It's a brilliantly subversive film that parodies Heinlein's border-line fascism basically by playing it straight (and just a little over the top).  Essentially, it's an old-time propaganda movie created by a fascist state we're supposed to be horrified.  Basically, if you watch carefully, you'll see the the whole war is based on a tissue of lies, and that there clearly other agendas at work.  In many ways, it would have been considered a brilliant parody of the second invasion of Iraq, except it happened first.

Yes, I still miss the powered armor, but you can get your temporary fix by rewatching the power-loader battle with the alien queen in Aliens.

So, it works on two levels, as a straight-forward, gung-ho, kick-butt action movie, and as political satire, and it does both very, very well.  I've watched it again since, and there's something new to think about every time.  Or don't think.  Just turn off your brain, sit back, and enjoy the explosions and carnage.  It's the movie for all occasions!

This Galoob movie-tie-in soldier-bug toy is a fortunate thrift-store find.  I think I paid $2 for him.  They're going for $10-25 loose on eBay, and over twice that in the box.  He's not really in scale with the Minions figures (he should probably be about twice as big) but he's still a big, impressive toy, and love the "chomp-chomp-chomp" sound effect it makes when you close his jaws on something!

There's also a new Starship Troopers movie in the works, possibly for 2014, though it's a long way from a sure thing.  I don't know if it will be any good, but by all reports, it will at least have powered armor this time.


Now on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY NEW PANORAMA BEACH MYSTERY, A BREATH AWAY FROM DYING!


Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell knows there's something wrong with the scene when he responds to a prowler call at the Aquarama aquarium and underwater-show, and finds a dead mermaid laying on the shore of the Mermaid Grotto. But he's dismissed from the case by a treacherous superior officer, who bungles the investigation and rules her death an accident. 


So when Sheriff "Big" Bass asks him to take a secretive, off-duty, second look at the case, he's eager to please despite the danger. 


But there are deep secrets, cut-throat business, old-flames, and hidden agendas waiting for him, and before Mustang knows which way the tide is running, he'll be in hot water -- face-to-face with a killer!


Welcome to Panorama Beach, Florida, 1967, where the sand is white as sugar, the attractions are larger-than-life, and the money is all dirty and rolling in like a storm tide! Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell is the new badge in town, and he just wants to do the right thing. 


But he's fallen under the wing of his dangerous and morally compromised boss, Sherriff "Big" Bass, who calls himself "the best devil money can buy." Big Bass will tell you that he may be a little bad, but anybody who replaces him will be even worse. Mustang would really like to believe that -- because otherwise, this good-old-boy may have just booked himself on a rocket-ride to hell!


Now on Kindle, Nook and Smashwords.  Coming soon to all major ebook sellers!


See you guys back here next week!

- Mystery Minion Master Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Minions #308 - Map Snacks (and some free fiction)

Click Cartoon for Extra Cheez!



Greetings, Garmins and Tomtoms!


We're late a day this week, and it's by design.  Guess I should have announced it ahead of time, but we had a good reason.  Nobody notices if we post an announcement of a new cartoon if we do it on a weekend or a major holiday, and Monday was a U.S. holiday, so we held back till Tuesday.  In fact, you can pretty much assume we will do that for EVERY major U.S. holiday that falls over a Monday.  I know the little fine print at the bottom of each cartoon says, "New Minions Every Monday!", but that's a lie.  We're EVIL, dammit!  So deal.

Monday was also the 50th anniversary of the first flight of John Glenn, the first American astronaut into orbit, and in honor of that, my wife, Mrs. Minion Master, AKA multi-published author Christina F. York (AKA mystery writers Christy Evans and Christy Fifield.  Yes, she has aliases.  We're EVIL dammit!) has decided to make one of her favorite science-fantasy stories available for free over on her blog.  It's an alternate-history story about John Glenn, and it's called Godspeed.  Check it out here.

See you guys back here next week.  Maybe even on Monday.

                       - Master Monday Mover Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, February 06, 2012

Minions #306 - Let Sleeping Mu Shu Lie

Click Cartoon for larger portions and side of egg roll!



Greetings Chop Sticks and Soy Saucers!


Today's Minions at Work cartoon is brought to you by my ebook, Dead Ringers.  In a near future where computer-driven holographic headstones reanimate the dead, the living are left with phantoms made of memories, real and imagined.  Two stories of electronic ghosts that continue to haunt the living.  First, a woman confronts the hologram an abusive spouse only to learn that some things are best left forgotten.  Next, a young girl "kidnaps" the headstone of her dead boyfriend to save him from his parents, who threaten to erase everything the she loved about him.  On the run from the law, the present, and the past, she and her fantastic holographic lover race his car towards a rocky cliff where death may just become a little more final the second time around!

Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and other major ebook dealers.

See you folks back here next week!

- Minion Master Steve






Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Minions #304 - Mixmastered Metaphors

Click cartoon to bust some bigger rhymes

Greetings, Dance Tracks and Beat Boxes!


Now sure, this week's cartoon seems pretty irreverent, but I'm making a point here.  User interfaces are both an interest of mine, and a constant source of annoyance.  One of my mutant powers seems to be and ability to spot those annoying problems in a interface, program or product design that are going to trip up users and make them crazy.  Most such points of human/product interaction seem to be designed either by engineers who are concerned mainly with function and the coolness of the code, or designers who are interested mainly in aesthetics, and not usability.

To give you a couple of examples that makes me insane on a daily basis:

Charter Cable has seen fit to give me a Motorola DVR that seems to have been designed in the 1980s.  The menu looks like the output from a Commodore 64, and the remote it terribly designed.  Most especially, right above the "fast forward" button there is another button marked "live."  So, when watching a show and fast-forwarding through a commercial, it's easy to hit "live," which takes you out of the program you're watching and into whatever is live on the tuner.  It then takes several button pushes and menus to get back into your program, and about half the time you'll dump yourself back to the beginning of the program by accident, and have to fast-forward (careful you don't push the wrong button again!) to find the point the the program where you left off.  This happens to me once or twice a night (and probably millions of times to other Charter customers) resulting in much cursing and yelling at the box, which does not have a "give a s&!t" button.

Less annoying but equally stupid are the comic pages of the Washington Post web-site.  I read a couple of comics in enjoy there every day, Doonesbury, Pearls Before Swine, and a few others.  (I subscribe to two newspapers on my Kindle, but neither of them includes comics.)   We will ignore the fact that it's nearly impossible to scroll around the Washington Post comic pages with a touch screen (like on my phone, where I usually view them) without accidentally hitting an ad or a navigation link to someplace you don't want to go, or that the layout of the page (which takes forever to load and contains exactly ONE daily three-panel comic strip) pretty much requires scrolling to see the comic on a phone, no matter which way you orient the screen.

What's really stupid is if you want to see any strip but the current one, you've got to:
A: Select a date from a pull-down menu.
B: Wait for the pull down menu to go away.
C: Click a "go" button next to the pull-down.  (Don't accidentally click the pull down again with your fat finger!)
D: Wait for the entire page to slowly reload you can again see one three panel comic strip.

Want to see the day before yesterday, or today's strip again?  You've got to go through the whole thing again!

Now, admittedly, my navigation here is not much better, but they supposedly have highly-paid professional web designers, and I have me and Blogger to do this site.  Anyway, look at most of the better designed web-comics, and they have "forward" and "backward" navigation buttons to view previous strips, and often clickable calendars as well.  The Washington Post, on the other hand, apparently just likes to watch you jump through hoops and get annoyed for now reason.

Now, what has that got to do with today's panel?  Well, one place where interface designers go wrong is to take a metaphor too far.  Usually Apple is the one company that gets this stuff right, but (maybe because the late Steve Jobs notoriously didn't seem to "get" books at all) the iBooks app on the iPad included an animated, touch activate page turn.  You could manually flip the page, and see the animated page moving on the screen in sync with your finger-tip.

Now, I'm sure this was a great thing for the software programmers and designers who came up with it and implemented it.  From a "gee-wiz, look at my new toy" standpoint it was pretty neat.  But from a usability standpoint, it was idiotic.  It was taking the metaphor of the book too far, just because they could.  It adds nothing to the usability or convenience of reading on the iPad, and in fact, the only reason is isn't totally in the way is that people are used to ignoring the intrusion of a page flip on a real book.

But when people first use a black-and-white epaper screen reader, they almost universally complain about the far quicker and less-intrusive "screen flash" that happens when you change pages.  The reason, of course, is that while it's much quicker and less intrusive, you're less used to it, so of course you notice it more.  Most people quickly get used to the "flash," and it's effectively invisible after a while.  But the point is, anything that kicks you out of the reading experience is bad.  You need to work to minimize those things.  Apple's page-turn animation goes the other way.

Of course, you can turn the page flip off, but it's interesting that (at least up until recently), most people who read books on iPads used apps like Amazon's or Barne's and Noble's, and I believe those just change pages without any graphical showboating.

On the other hand, I saw this great video the other day showing a new way of using "page flips" to quickly navigate through a book, magazine or document, something that's very cumbersome to do on most menu and "forward/back button" operated ereaders.


This is a smart use of the page/book metaphor, not for showboating or unneeded cosmetics, but to actually use the familiar design of a printed book to make it easier and less intrusive to navigate through its electronic cousin.  That's doing right what Apple did wrong.

So, getting back to today's cartoon, I do not need my iPad to animate page turns, or my mixdeck submarine console to make scratching sounds or play music, any more than a need my automobile to smell like a horse.

End of rant.

Speaking of ebooks, today's cartoon is brought to you by science fiction collection, "Walking the Virtch."  Check it out on Amazon.com!

Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and other major ebook dealers!

See you guys back here next week!

                                - Minion Mixmaster Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Minions #302 - Hydro-phony

Click to Blow Bigness Tanks!



Greetings, Sinkers and Dive Bombers!


Yes, we're finally back to shooting full-up, all-new material here this week.  Hopefully I can come up with a couple more gags to shoot on the Submarine Naughtyless set this week, then tear it down and make room for something else.  I love this set, but IT'S IN MY FRICKING WAY!


This is one of those weeks when I come up with a gag that takes advantage of cool props that I don't ordinarily get much use out of.  I was inspired by my latest acquisition, the miniature (and fully-functional!) Fender Guitar amp in the foreground.  Of course, it says something about me that I had a 1/6th scale Fender guitar (not to mention a drum set) waiting around to go with it.  That's just how we roll here at Minions Studios, boys and girls!


This week's cartoon brought to me by my cat, Sydney, who has written a book for every writer and aspiring writer out there!


Think you have to have a literary agent before you can sell a book to New York?  Think anyone who calls themselves an agent is worth trusting your work to?  Think an agent will always act in your best interest?  Think there aren't a thousand different ways that an agent can't skim your money, steal your work, ruin your career, rob you blind, and you'll never know?  

Get a hilarious and relatively-cheap education by bad example, as "world's worst" literary agent, Sydney T. Cat, explains her evil plans and schemes (all tested and approved by real-life, human agents!) to rip her clients to shreds and play with them for her cruel amusement.

Remember, anybody can print up business cards and call themselves a literary agent, even a cat!  And if it isn't prohibited, it is mandatory!


(Also available on Nook, Smashwords.com, Kobo, iBookstore, and other major ebook outlets!)
------------
See you kids back here next week!


                             - Minion Master Steve


Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Minions #297 - Big Deal

Click for Bigger Bargain!



Greetings, Limited Offers!


Yeah, it's that time of year again.  No, we're not ready either.

Stuff to do.  See you next week!

        - Minion Master Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Minions #297 - Damaged Cargo

Click cartoon to enlarge cover-up!



Greetings, Overstocks and Factory Seconds!


To date, it's been pretty rare when we've done a cartoon that was at all topical or in any way political, but
I just built this nifty new Bridge for Cap'n Rehab's submarine, the "Naughtyless," and I desperately needed a joke to go with it.  And so many people, in politics, Hollywood, and elsewhere, have all at once stepped in it in one way or another, and are in need of a little image make-over.  Well, that's Cap'n Rehab's thing!  Cruising the crushing depths of ocean trenches, where only the most determined paparazzi will follow, the Cap'n is always ready with a well-aimed Valium torpedo, a crew of hard-working reputation-swabbers, and a treasure-chest full of questionable therapies to turn around the public functions of any person who is even marginally famous.  So he, there are times he's just going to steer for a topical port-of-call.  That's just how he rolls.  Deal with it.

- See you guys next week,
  Mental Minion Master, Steve
Also on Smashwords, Nook, and other ebook retailers!
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, November 07, 2011

Minions #296 - He's a Mandarin-eater!

Click for more soy sauce!



Greetings, Broken Fortune Cookies!


Some weeks it's easier than others to come up with a joke for a new cartoon.  Sometimes we spend hours researching the web, looking for just the right word to close out the punch line of an especially sophisticated fart joke.  And other weeks, like this one, we just dive into our almost frighteningly-diverse prop department and go to our silly place.  Sometimes the silly place is better.  You be the judge.

See you guys next Monday!

              - Minion Master of Evil Chop-sticks, Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Minions #295 - Cold Blooded Killers (plus a free ebook!)

Well, kids, I can't believe this, but I just screwed up and reused a cartoon I'd already posted earlier in the month.  Sigh.  I'm on this.  Here's a brand-new and absolutely never-before-run cartoon.


Click Cartoon TO FRAG EVERYTHING THAT MOVES!
And in case you came in following an earlier promo post and DIDN'T see this cartoon before, here' it is again.  (Free ebook info follows!)
Click Cartoon for Fluffier Cushions!



Greetings, Armchair Minions!


Happy Halloween, or as the Minions down at the lair like to call it, "recruitment drive."  Oh, sure, most of the ones that show up at the door are kind of young, but they're used to funny costumes, are willing to work for stale candy-corn, and are at just the right age to cart off to "Minion Academy."


Oh, yes, there's a training school for Minions!  It's just like Hogwarts!  Except of course that it's a cold, drafty, dangerous castle full of death-traps where most of the faculty, alumni and your fellow students are trying to kill you.  Oh, wait!  It's just like Hogwarts!

And hey, it's a great time to get your holiday season off to a creepy start with a free flash-fiction ebook written by your Minion Master!  You can download it for free for your Kindle compatible reader, device, or app!

  Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and in most other major ebook stores!

Enjoy, and we'll see you back here next week!

         - Chair-master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!