Minions #108/#109 - Double Feature

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Binoculars!

Just because I felt like it this week, two cartoons instead of one. Are they twice as funny? Uh-- Did I mention there were two?

Actually, only you can judge how funny they are. Some I've though were hysterical created barely a ripple with you guys, and some I've wondered if I should post at all turned out to be the most popular ever. Who knows?

But occasionally I compensate for uncertainty with quantity. I'm not saying this is one of those times. But it does happen.

On other matters, Minion Number One isn't here this week because he's moping by the mailbox. Seems you folks haven't sent in as many emails with questions for him as he'd like to see. Surely there must be something you've wondered about Minion life, about your favorite overlord, or just about life in general that might benefit from that unique Minion perspective. Drop him a note care of my address right now! His favorites will be answered in future video segments.

See you next week,

-Steve

Minions #99.5 - On Watch

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Your eyes are important to us, please read an important message from the Cap'n, following the usual commercial music on hold...

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Attention, all hands on deck! All hands on deck! (Whoops, we forgot to surface the sub first. Our bad...

Arr, greetings, scurvy dogs! This be Cap'n Rehab!



You be think'n 'no Minions at Work #100 this week," and yee'd be right enough. It's been one O' them weeks, with fierce weather, out-O-town guests, exploding appliances, and roofers working next-door ta' Big Steve's office so's he couldn't record sound. (Arr. I wasn't supposed to say that!)

So he comes to me and he says, Cap'n I gots a dangerous mission for you (except he dont' say 'gots' cuz' he talks funny-like). I needs you to hold them off shore while I gets this one finished. The odds be hopeless. It's one against an armada. But I gots me confidence in ya's.

Now, Danger ain't me middle name, but it is the middle three digits of me Social Security number, so I heads right down to the docks, has Mister Penguin fire up nuclear reactors, and we sets sail with the tide, and here I be...vamping for all I be worth...

So's, I'm betting you be asking yourself, a dashing rogue of the sea such as yourself, what's yer story?

Well stop shaking in yer leg-irons, 'cuz I'll tell ya's. As for me past, that's a shadowy mystery, and besides, the court records is sealed. But serve it to say that I command the most powerful fish that ever swam the sea, the mighty submarine/reputation rehabilition center, "Naughtyless." She's manned with a full crew O' cutthroats, scalawags, washed-up pop stars, Oscar-winning-mean-drunks, ex-child-actors, and senators with wandering hands. O'course, the whole lot of them put together ain't worth a bilge full O' warm spit as a crew, so's I hires me some Minions to do the real work...

Back off on the bow planes two degrees Mister Penguin, and watch those reactor core temperatures! I know you be an even finer Nuclear Engineer than President Carter, but don't cut it too close in the name O' speed!

Sure'n all these has-beens and never-wases are a scurvy lot, but they keeps me in the tabloids, and that's what really counts. And they pays me, so's I got plenty of doubloons to give the Minions half-wages and short-rations, and still pocket 90% O' thu take.

Arr, 'scuse me. Duty calls. We got some sonar echos -- could be a school O' sardines -- or it might be that bewitching siren of the sea, Betty Ford, come to take us all to a watery grave...

Rendezvous at these coordinates next week, and we'll see what be happenin'

Minions #76 - Authority Figure

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Don't miss the latest ravings of a lunatic madman, your Minion Master, following the usual annoying noise...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"If you're not 100% satisfied, then the beatings will begin!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin in a red-white-and-blue tie. We don't have the heart to tell him that he finished last in the Iowa straw poll. (Do you? Man, you ARE evil!)

Just another command from your Admiral of Anarchy:

Greetings, Ye Loose Nuts Behind the Wheel,


Let's give a big hand for our latest Overlord, Cap'n Rehab. Sure, he's been mentioned, and we've been tooling around under the sea in his sub for the last month, but I couldn't move on without bringing him on-stage for an appearance. I like his look. Let me know what you think...

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, maybe I can swap out the Submarine set for something else and put a little variety back in the Minion's lives.

I'm also going to be introducing a new Minion soon, and and guess what? You get to name him! Yeah, in an upcoming Minions at Work poll, you will get to name our new character. Stand by for details soon.

Till next week...

- Steve

Minions #75 - On the Rocks

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Stay tuned for a missive of world-shaking importance (okay, not so much) from your Minion Master, following the usual blah-blah-blah.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin in a red-white-and-blue tie. We don't have the heart to tell him, that as a citizen of Antarctica, he isn't eligible to run. (Do you? Man, you ARE evil!)

Just another when-have-I-ever-steered-you-wrong from your Minion Cruise Director:

Greetings, Supercargo!


It was a crunch to get this week's Minions to you. Not only am I still wiped after Comicon and the trip to California and back, but I came home to an empty Minions inventory and a submarine set somewhat in shambles. Add to this, the one cartoon idea I had required me to come up with a ship's wheel, so I also had to fire up the prop-shop. It's one of the drawbacks to doing a photo-cartoon vs. drawing one. You can't just do anything you can imagine. Most of it you've either got to find or build. The ship's wheel is a little bit of both, but I like how it came out.

Hey, It's getting a little quiet here! We live on your comments (the food-stamps ran out), so let us know you're out there!

- Steve

Minions #73 - The Safety Is On

(08/01/07 - Uploaded the missing cartoon. Enjoy!)

(This has since been obviously fixed... - Steve) Okay, this is Steve from the road. I have royally screwed up. Somehow in prepping this message, I managed to do everything EXCEPT upload the actual picture. Since I wasn't smart enough to bring a disk of the current stuff with me, this week's Minions cartoon will be delayed. What I'm going to do is release NEXT week's cartoon instead. I'll upload this week's toon next week instead. Okay, it was Comicon. Something had to go wrong...


Click on cartoon for full-sized version.

Stay tuned for an important (okay, not so much) message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin in a red-white-and-blue tie. We don't have the heart to tell him, that as a citizen of Antarctica, he isn't eligible to run. (Do you? Man, you ARE evil!)

Just a shot-in-the-dark from the Minion Master:

Greetings, Moving Targets!


"Minions Under the Sea" month continues. Okay, this one just happens to happen under the sea, but you need weapons for the inevitable beach-assault on the forces of Good. Actually, this panel came to mind after watching "Live Free or Die Hard," a movie in which the bag-guys could shoot Bruce Willis' jock strap off him with six million assault rifle rounds (okay, I put that picture in your head, but I'm evil dang it!)and he'd get no more than a photogenic flesh-wound that bothers him less than most people are by a mosquito bite.

Around here, we call this the "Cylon School of Marksmanship," which refers to the original 70s TV show, not Ron Moore's "reimagining." In those shows, there was always this scene where our heroes (Apollo, Starbuck, or both, back before they were -- to our knowledge -- swapping bodily fluids) would encounter a bunch of Cylon centurions in a hallway or corridor or cave. So the Cylons would shoot about fifteen rounds and hit all around our heroes, who would just stand there. And after the Cylons missed, our hero would squeeze off one laser bolt and hit the Cylon cleanly in the middle of the chest for a kill. Every time!

So we figure that at the Cylon School of Marksmanship, they have a firing range where they take points off if you hit the target! Yes, with Cylons, a "prefect pattern" means a circle...

We'll be back at the lair soon. Later...

-Steve

Minions #72 - Down Time

Click on cartoon for full-sized version.

Stay tuned for an important (okay, not so much) message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin in a red-white-and-blue tie. We don't have the heart to tell him, that as a citizen of Antarctica, he isn't eligible to run. (Do you? Man, you ARE evil!)

A ship-wide announcement from your Minion Cruise Director:

Greetings, Relaxibots!


"Minions Under the Sea" month continues. Speaking of Vacations, in a couple of days we're off to California and the San Diego Comicon, and running our evil schemes by remote-control, so forgive any irregularities. If we get time, we'll post some pictures and reports from the field.

Until then, we did have visitors at the Minions HQ this weekend. It was my birthday Saturday, and we had friends come from near and far for a barbecue. I had a great time, but somehow forgot to take any pictures. Later on, however, our friends Rob Vagle and Ximena Clearley came in and had their pictures taken with some resident celebrities. By which, I of course don't mean Chris and I.



Actually, Rob and Ximena are engaged, and they first hooked up a few years back helping us hang sheet-rock at what is now the Minions studio, so this is a very cool thing.

While we were sitting around talking, they were witness to the creation of the Next Minion. No, you can't see them. The next Minion doesn't have a name yet. So (this was my friend Sean Prescott's idea) we're going to have a poll that lets YOU name the Minion! Details after I get back from my trip.

Also, Sean and I are in the early stages of cooking up some new interactive Minions madness, and we need your help for that as well. Got a question for one of our characters? Send it to them care of me at j-steven-york@sff.net.

Anyway, off to San Diego. Back as we can be next week.

- Steve

Minions #71 - It's Only a Flesh Wound

Click on cartoon for full-sized version.

Stay tuned for an important (okay, not so much) message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin in a red-white-and-blue tie. We don't have the heart to tell him, that as a citizen of Antarctica, he isn't eligible to run. (Do you? Man, you ARE evil!)

Just a little Trickle-down from the Minion Master:

Greetings, Wet-footed Ones!


"Minions Under the Sea" month continues. Okay, I confess, I love this one. Funniest one ever!

You'll probably hate it. Isn't that the way it works? Post a comment and let me know.

I try, whenever I can, to avoid heavy photo-manipulation effects in Minions at Work, but sometimes when you have giant locations, or huge props, or fire, or lasers, or explosions, or (as in this case) running water, there's just no choice. But if I have to resort to it, I like it to look good, and I think this looks good.

Remember in about a week we're off to California and the San Diego Comicon through the last part of the month. Don't worry, your Minions entertainment is all lined up and waiting. But the schedule might be a little disrupted, especially on the reminder list. So check yourself in here every Monday, and if you don't see a new toon, check back again in a day or two and it should be there.

-Steve

Minions #69/70 - 4th of July Double Feature

Click on cartoons for full-sized versions.

Stay tuned for an important (okay, not so much) message from your Minion Master, following the usual crass commercialism.

Check the sidebar to your right for our video trailer! A cool way to introduce your friends to the Minions! Send them here, or link directly to it on YouTube at the following URL:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpDiP_LB20&eurl=&v3



Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where 'service' is our middle name according to our false-ID."

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will blot out the sun*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send the Penguin to stalk you with a big, black, umbrella. Budget-cuts and all...

A big blow of the ballast tanks from the Minion Master:

Greetings, Scurvy Crew. Welcome to Under the Sea Month, Maties!


Yes, it's the 4th of July week (Independence Day, for our non-U.S. friends), traditional time for all-manner of evil plots to be launched, and for the likes of Michael Bay and John McClane to kick evil's butt. In other words, it's a great month for a Minion to lay low. So we bring you, Minions Under the Sea Month!

Okay, I really hadn't intended to do a double-feature this week. Actually, I'm trying to build up inventory so I can coast through July, which is vacation and San Diego Comicon month. But the first in this series was "how to be a Minion #3," and I hadn't yet run "how to be a Minion #2," so I had to clear the tubes, so-to-speak. (By the way, the first in the "How to Be a Minion" series appeared way back in Minions #11, if you need a refresher.)


So stay tuned in the coming weeks, as we introduce new sets, a new Evil Overlord, and maybe one of the funniest panels ever. (Be warned, however, that we'll be traveling and busy through the end of the month, so things may occasionally post late or early, depending.)

-Steve