Sunday, March 18, 2007
Minions #53 - Things Change
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THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.
A Missive from your friendly Overlord:
What can I say about this week's cartoon. Sometimes, a plan just comes together. Sometimes we have a prop in search of a punch-line. Sometimes we have a punch-line in search of a prop. But in this case, we had a punch-line, and the prop practically built itself and homed in on the punch-line like a joke-seeking missile. (What a fiendish plan. We've got to work on that!)
I remind you that that the new anthology "If I Were an Evil Overlord" is not available in your favorite store or bookseller. You'll find the link to the right to buy it from BarnesandNobel.com, but if you're the type who prefers to buy through Amazon, use this link. And stay tuned following my usual ramblings for an excerpt from my story in said book, titled "Gordie Culligan vs. Dr. Longbeach and the HVAC of Doom."
Beyond that the usual. Spread the word. Blah, blah. Buy the shirts. Blah, blah. Join the reminder list. Blah, blah. And if you check the sidebar, you'll see that, in another desperate attempt to make this evil venture profitable (or at least, not so much of a money pit) I'm experiment with "Google Adsense" advertising. Check it out, and if you should choose to click through to visit our sponsors, some billionth of a cent will be sent in my direction.
Keep in mind, I have no control or idea what ads will appear on the site. Supposedly, they'll be automatically chosen to tie into the content of our humble site. Given what we do here, it may be highly entertaining (and possibly frightening) to see what sorts of ads will appear as the robots zero in on us. (Which is a good evil plan. I've got to work on that!)
This is just an experiment, and as always, your input is welcome. Feel free to drop a comment on the site or send me an email.
And now, onto an excerpt from my story in "If I Were an Evil Overlord." Keep in mind, this excerpt is taken from my unedited manuscript, not the final book copy. Any typos or errors are caused entirely by the internet... Okay, I might have had something to do with it too.
I tell you, when I answered that ad in the back of Popular Mechanics long ago, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Sure, I expected steady work, good pay, excellent benefits, and the respect and admiration of my friends and family. That goes without saying.
But I never expected the intrigue, the danger, the adventure!
My name is Gordie Culligan, and I’m the man from HVAC. That’s Heating, Ventilation and Air-Conditioning to you. God, I love the smell of a fried starter-capacitor in morning!
It was a day like any other day in the Los Angeles basin, but I felt something in the air. Possibly it was the unusual number of ominous, glowing, saucer-shaped clouds moving against the wind, or the swarms of atomic, robot bats flapping their way east over Burbank, or the unusual number of electric dirigibles, blue arcs of lighting crackling between their protruding electrodes, that circled over the San Diego freeway. Maybe it was just the greenish tinge to the smog. But I knew something was up.
Now sure, I know if you don’t live in LA, you’d consider any one of those things cause for alarm, but that’s why you live where you live, and I live in the greatest city in the world.
Sure, it was a little startling at first, but this is LA, baby! You live here for a while, you see things like this every day, and nothing ever, ever comes of it, you just start to take it for granted. Sure, there are giant robots in Tarzana and giant beetles in Griffith Park, but when you’ve had Conan for a governor, nothing is that strange any more.
By now, you’re probably saying, “Gordie, this is all very interesting and all, but what about the air-conditioning?” See it all ties in, and until recently, I didn’t know that. You see all those crazy things, and you take it for granted that nothing ever happens. By you know why nothing ever happens?
Because of guys like me, that’s why. HVAC saves the world, baby! That’s what this town is about!
(Continued in "If I Were an Evil Overlord.")
Now get to the bookstore! Dang, I'm evil.
See you next week.
-Steve, Overlord in residence