Minions #287 - Don't Tell, Don't Ask

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Greetings, Office Headaches!

Tuesday is Monday this week, because of the holiday weekend here in the U.S., so no complaining that we're late.  MINIONS GET LABOR DAY OFF!  IT'S THE LAW!  (Yeah, like that ever stopped an Evil Overlord.)

After a long break of mining our multi-gigabyte photo archive for material, I'm finally about to getting back to some new shooting here.  I'd hope to be into it already, but I go distracted when I found that some of the lights in our shooting studio weren't working, and I'd totally lost track of how our nest of extension cords was hooked up (not quite as bad as it sounds, since all our lighting these days is with low-wattage CF and LED bulbs, and the loads are quite small).  So I tore the whole thing apart, installed the first of several permanent power strips on our shooting bench, and rewired the whole thing.

Hope to have totally new material for you next week!

- Minion Master Steve

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Minions #233 - Bird is the Word

Stand by, following the usual nest of lies for a good egg from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the crab parasites just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

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We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

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Greetings, Bird Brains!


It's been a busy week, and I wish I could let you in on all my secret evil plans...  BUT THEN THEY WOULDN'T BE SECRET, WOULD THEY!  DUH!

All I'm gonna say is, check this place out:
www.TsunamiRidge.com

See you guys back here next week...

                            - Minion Master Steve

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Minions #232 - Taking it in the Seat

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Stand by, following the usual coach-class accommodations for a business-class upgrade from your Minion Master!


Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the crab parasites just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair: THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE "Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!" and NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY (For very small values of naughty.) Or just click on our "Donate" button and send us cash add to our "Buy the Minions a Camera Fund!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

 Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) Eventually I'm getting No. 1 his own account for Minions-related-business, but one thing at a time. Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

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Greetings, Seat Swappers!


Well, it's post-Comicon, and we're exhausted!  Actually, we didn't go this year, but it's STILL exhausting, just keeping up with all the posts on news sites.  This year's stabbing (such as it is) reminds us why we stopped going, despite all the cool stuff that goes on there.  Yes, it's amazing.  Yes, you should go (at least once).  Yes, you should hurry up and do it while you're young enough and indestructible enough to enjoy it.

But nobody really goes to Comicon any more.  It's too crowded.

We've had a devil of a time getting this week's cartoon posted.  Out power has been blipping out for just a second at a time.  Trouble is, it's been doing it for three days, and sometimes as often as every 20 minutes.  Every time it goes, my desktop computer goes down as well, and that's where I do all my Minions work.

You say, "Steve, don't you have a UPS on that thing?"  Well, I was going to say that I do, but it doesn't work.  The local power grid chews them up and spits them out in about three months.  But do I really need to explain?  I mean, what evil lair has EVER had working emergency equipment?  No, it's pretty much twist a large, colorful, clearly labeled dial and the whole thing blows up.  It's some kind of law of the universe.

Anyway,  the power company is sympathetic, but they're reporting mysterious "salt build-ups" on the wires that have "never happened before," and "suddenly started happening this week, and we don't know why."  Also, they say it has something to do with a "fog from the ocean."

Now, I'm I wrong here, or is this the first act of of a SyFy original movie?

Actually, I'd suspect some kind of evil plan against us, EXCEPT WE PRETTY MUCH ARE AN EVIL PLAN!"  I suspect the forces of Good.  Damn, those guys are getting sneaky...

                                                         - Minion Master Steve

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Minions #111 - Decisions, Decisions

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Indecisives!

Okay, I'm late this week, which is a shame, since this kinda has a Mother's Day theme to it.

I've been a little under the weather. I blew out my voice yelling at a rock concert a few weeks ago (man, I really am getting old), which lead to a nagging cough which I just couldn't shake, and I finally realized I was just going to have to stop talking for a day or two until my throat got better.

This has been a strange experience. I mean, the silent thing is kind of mysterious, but it makes it hard to order a cheeseburger at the drive-through. Super-villains have big, booming voices for a reason: they need cheeseburgers. Glad I could clear that up.

Anyway, you'll notice we have a new Minion this week. Actually, I've been planning to bring him in for about six months now, but I could never find the perfect cartoon to introduce him. Now he needs a number. If you have an idea for what number he should be, leave it in a comment. (And yes, 13 is taken. So are 0, 1, 2, 9, 10, and 67 plus a few others I don't remember off the top of my head. So help us name our new Minion...