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Showing posts with label cell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cell. Show all posts

Monday, May 16, 2011

Minions #272 - Off Office Space

Click for Bigger Office


Greetings, Cubical Chipmunks!


Yes, we're cutting it close this week, BUT IT'S STILL TECHNICALLY MONDAY!

And hey, speaking of offices, check out of a couple of my favorite office comedies at the links below.  "Office Space" is a live-action cult classic from those "South Park" guys that you've probably heard of (or seen), but I'll bet you've never heard of the obscure-but-similar Haiku Tunnel!  It's about a wanna-be writer working as a temp who goes slowly insane when offered a full-time position at the company where's he's working.  The build-up is a little slow, but the pay-off is a classic (and pretty good real-world advice for dealing with deadlines, too)!  They'd make a great double-feature!  Check them out!

See you next Technical Monday!

    - Master Minion Procrastinator, Steve



Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!
 

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Minions #155 - Small Favors

Be sure to read this week's full post for a special Minion-related Evil Cat story!

To fully deploy humor, click on cartoons to enlarge

Stand by, following some typical jibber-jabber for a last-minute reprieve from your Minion Master!

Your execution is important to us. To serve you better, your execution may be observed by a supervisor, who will step in to kick you if the corpse is still twitching.

KEEP AMERICA STRONG! SUPPORT "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY!
We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!

Later, we'll be adding a selection of Minion-recommended merchandise, but until then, use your imagination. Books, videos, electronics, games, maybe even ACTION FIGURES!

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(For very small values of naughty.)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar!


Greetings, Under-employeds!

Yeah, we're a little late this week, in part because of some internet problems we had today. (Thank you Charter Communications, customer service motto: "may we have your ten-digit phone number before we transfer you to another continent where they'll also need your ten-digit phone number.") Maybe they're pissed off about last-week's jab at telephone support. Trust me, they've gotten their revenge.

But I also wanted to take the time to document and report today's...

EVIL CAT STORY

Our older cat, Oz, has developed a little ritual recently. Every night about midnight, if we're still sitting in the living room, there will be a clatter in the ceiling.

Back up. My office and studio is here in Hangar 18, converted from a semi-attached garage that overlaps slightly with the corner of our house. There's no direct connection (you walk out the back door of the house and through a sun-porch to the back door of Hanger 18).

There is one indirect connection though, if you're a cat. To the right of my desk, ten feet straight up a wall, there's a small triangular opening that leads into the attic of our house. Oz discovered this hole even before the office was finished, and after I got tired of claw marks on the wall, I built him a "cat ladder," a 2x4 covered with carpeting and studded with small platforms, to make it easier to get up and down.

So when we hear this overhead clatter in the living room, it's Oz climbing up the cat ladder and crossing through the attic over our heads. There's a rumble as he crosses the furnace ducts, then more noise as he runs through my wife's upstairs office, down the inside stairs, through the kitchen, around the corner, and into the living room. Part of the ritual is that, by the time Oz has hit the kitchen, he's yowling loudly, a special yowl that means to our other cat, Sydney, "it's time to come and play."

More recently, something new has been added to the ritual. Now when he comes to play, Oz usually brings a toy, some object that he's picked up in my office. Very often, this is action figure related, a loose item of clothing or a small accessory. The other night he dropped an old-WWI German helmet, the kind with a spike on top.

But last night was different. I heard him coming, and decided to go meet him and see what (if any) of my items he'd hijacked. Sure enough, he was carrying something in his mouth. He walked up to me, dropped it at my feet, and looked up expectantly, waiting for me to inspect his prize. Here's what I saw when I looked down:



To be fair, he didn't make the sign himself. It's a left-over prop from this 2007 Minions at Work cartoon.

That said, I have no doubt at all that it was intentional.

It was also a LIE! Of course Oz makes the evil plans! You don't believe me? Here's photographic evidence!


Even Minion Masters like me, we have our own evil-overlords! And you think you have it bad? The claws! The claws!



- Your Under-overlord, Steve

Monday, December 08, 2008

Minions #139 - Hunger Strike



CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a heart-shot from your Minion Master!

Man, am I getting morbid lately, or what? Actually, I was more going for silly. Laughing at the reaper, that's me.

Actually, this is one of those cases where I put the set together first, and came up with the joke later. Actually, it isn't much different that a lot of sets you've seen lately, except for one important thing: the door.

Oh, sure, you've seen this set before. But I've been on a binge of building some new modular set pieces, and I decided to make a wall module with a doorway cut into it.

See, you've seen the door lots of times, but you've never seen it open, and you've never seen anything behind it, for an important reason. In the past, it's always just been stuck up against a blank wall, with some black foam behind the window to make it look dark back there. Actually, once or twice, you've seen a hand reaching out from between the bars, but in those cases, that's all there was. A hand.

eeeeww!

So this time, there was actually a space behind the door to put an actual prisoner. I kind of like how you can just see his eyes lit behind the bars.

And, oh yeah, I just built that silver ventilator unit in the foreground. Stuck that in there too.

Like you care. I slave away, building new stuff for the Lair, and do I get a "thank-you," maybe some flowers, or a box of candy. No.

For that, I will destroy your puny world!

But not for a while. It's where I keep my stuff.

(Apologies to the Tick)

See you next time...if you're lucky!

- Your Minion Target-master, Steve

Monday, May 05, 2008

Minions #110 - Tip of the Hat



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Cow-tippers!


I'm busy shooting new shots to be used in a future "letters" video (hey, still need your questions for No. 1! Get on them!) so I had to dip into the stock photos again this week for our cartoon. I don't mind doing this now and then, but I hate to make a habit of it, even when they're funny (which they often are).

I promise you'll get totally farm-fresh Minions next week, not that artificially-ripened stuff we've been importing from Chile.

Minions Moment of the Week:
Just saw the movie Iron Man, and I think it's interesting that Tony Stark discovers he's working for the Forces of Evil, and he's self-employed! See, anyone can be a Minion of Evil, even you...

See ya next week,

-Steve

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Minions 99.8 -Small Favors


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Greetings, Disappointed Ones!


No, it isn't Minons #100 yet. What I haven't told anyone is that Minions #100 has been done for weeks. Actually, I'm stalling to give myself more time to work on Minions #200. It's coming up fast!

No, not only is it not #100, I'm late. Lots of stuff going on here, and yet more visitors in town later in the week.

As for #100, what I'm being reminded of from my old college movie-making days is that pictures are easy. Sound is hard. My office/studio is a converted garage, and it's not well soundproofed. The weather has turned nice here on the Oregon coast, so all around me the kids have been running up and down the street screaming, people are fixing roofs and doing repairs (I'm waiting for someone to clean my chimney right now, in fact), and even the birds have contributed, gulls fighting noisily on my office roof. I'm down to the last scene, and if I can get that recorded, the editing should go fast (all the visual elements WERE done weeks ago).

Any bets on 99.9?

See ya next week.

-Big Evil Steve

Monday, October 22, 2007

Minions #86 - One Heartbeat Away

Lots of stuff going on this week, so be sure to scroll down and check our our entire message!


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Don't miss the latest ravings of a lunatic madman, your Minion Master, following the usual commercial gruel...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"If you're not 100% satisfied, then the beatings will begin!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY

(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

A message to ground-zero from your fearless leader:

Greetings, prisoners of gravity,


It's back to the dungeons this week. We only occasionally do anything like topical humor here, but I like this one, so here it is. My biggest concern, in looking back at things, is that the similar cartoon featuring Martha Stewart a month or so back is the first cartoon in a long time to get no comments from you guys. Does that mean you hated the concept, hate Martha, don't know who Martha is, or maybe just your fingers seize up that week. I just don't know. So let me know if this sort of thing amuses you or not. There's something about Number Two staring into a darkened cell that just sets my mind working.


On another note, we've got a new Star Trek the Next Generation Ebook out from Pocket Books. It's called "A Sea of Troubles," the first installment (though it stands alone) in a six-part epic that will fill in the lost year of the U.S.S. Enterprise E's history before the movie Star Trek: First Contact. It's the time of the Dominion War (as seen in the TV series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and though she's far away from the front-lines on her shakedown cruise, even the Enterprise can't escape the deadly threat of the Dominion. Check it out on the publisher's site. It's available for immediate download for about the price of a Happy Meal at McDonalds, and it probably tastes better too!


Those of you cool people who are on our weekly reminder mailing list already know about the Minions at Work 2008 photo-calendar I've been working on. Well, it's finished! (When I originally posted this earlier today, I said that it wasn't quite ready and not to order it until I gave the word. Well, I'm giving the word! I spent the evening re-editing all the images and it should be 100% ready to go now! Oh, and it also now has a title. It's the Minions at Work - Evil in WIDESCREEN (Where Available) 2008 Calendar!) It's now available for for purchase at our Cafe Press Store! It's high-quality, spiral wire bound, printed on thick 100-pound weight, high-gloss cover stock. Decorate your faceless cubical-of-doom, or give it as the perfect holiday gift!

And with that, my regular plea to share "Minions at Work" with friends and family, and to drop us a note or, better yet, leave a comment here on the blog. Because love to hear from you.

- Steve

Monday, October 01, 2007

Minions #83 - Guarding Martha




Don't miss the latest ravings of a lunatic madman, your Minion Master, following the usual annoying noise...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"If you're not 100% satisfied, then the beatings will begin!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY

(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

An now a lovely idea for making a festive fall wreath out of human bones, courtesy of your Minion Master.

Greetings, Jail Birds,


I'm running late again this week. Life gets in the way sometimes. But at least I'm not sporting the latest "in" celebrity accessory that everyone is wearing, the ankle bracelet. (And I'm not talking about a lovely gold number with a penguin charm either!) Thank goodness that our law enforcement system is busy keeping us safe from a woman who can bake a Thanksgiving turkey covered in decorative puff-pastry! That's evil, man!


Actually, Martha would make a great Evil Overlord. She has an evil empire. She has a lair (with an evil herb garden out back, an evil craft lab, and an evil China-closet the size of a blimp-hangar), and she has a plan to rule the world. Also, if you pay close attention, I'll just bet that most of the heavy lifting around Casa-Martha is done by a legion of Minions.

And has jail ended her evil ways? No way! Before jail, you could find Martha Stewart products in K-Mart. Now, post-jail, you can find them in Macy's! You go girl! Just remember to look us up for all your Minion needs! (Quick, guys! Stock up on puff-pastry!)

Till next week...

-Steve.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Minions #42 - Briefing, Plus Bonus #43!

Be sure to check the end of the post for a special bonus Minions at Work, in honor of the new season of 24. (Which is, of course, 42 backwards.)



Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)


Bonus Minons!



(Okay, I'll confess here, that I've never actually watched 24, though it comes highly recommended. In fact, I still have the season one boxed set in shrink wrap, waiting for a seriously dead week (I've been warned not to start it unless I'm ready to finish it, soonest...)

Monday, July 03, 2006

Minions #15 - Lunchtime



New here? You can view any toon full-sized by clicking on the image. Additional panels can be found in previous monthly archives. Locate them in the sidebar to your right.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Minions #13 - Bed Check


Unlucky, or not?

I'm going on vacation for about 10 days, so the next Minions post will take place on Wednesday of this week. Then a new panel won't be likely be posted until the following Monday. Same number of new toons, just a different schedule.

As always, if you like the Minions, please share the address with your friends. Minions love company!