Minions #195 Strange Change

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Stand by, following the usual interminable queue for a rubber-stamp from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the winged-fire-ants just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

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Or visit our Amazon Lair Gift Shop for Minions-recommended merchandise featuring villainy from across pop-culture!

Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(For very small values of naughty.)

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Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

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Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

---

Greetings, Capitalistic Cast-offs!

Running a little late this week.  I'm busy shooting some more cartoons using the nifty green reactor-thing from last-week's cartoon, but I hate to run the same kind of scene two weeks in a row when I can help it.  So I dipped into my rapidly shrinking inventory of stand-by cartoons, and just as I was about to post, discovered I'd ALREADY used this particular cartoon back in October!  I hate it when that happens.

So, I had to go combing through my now-thousands of Minions stock-photos and outtakes to come up with some new cartoons.  So not only do I have something new (and topical) for you today, but I have a number of new inventory cartoons standing by as well.  Like they say, when life gives you lemons...  Well, actually, I don't care what they say.  I DON'T LIKE LEMONS!  I'm just evil that way.

See you guys next week.

- Minion Master Steve

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Minions #87 - Off Target

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Don't miss the latest ravings of a lunatic madman, your Minion Master, following the usual commercial misfire...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"If you're not 100% satisfied, then the beatings will begin!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

A message down the firing range from your fearless leader:

Greetings, bulls-eyes,


This week I have to confess that I'm at a bit of fan-boy heaven over the return of some of my favorite TV villains, the Cylons! Okay, admittedly, the Cylons have been back for a while in Ron Moore's wonderfully reimagined version of Battlestar Galactica on the SciFi Channel.

But while the new "skin jobs" played by the likes of Grace Park and Tricia Helfer are easy on the eyes, and the new CGI metal Cylons are pretty cool, I still miss the old-school chrome-plated "toasters" with their grating, mechanical voices and signature, scanning, red eye.

Not long ago, I heard rumors that the 2-hour Galactica movie, Razor, would flash back to the first Cylon war, and that this might feature the appearance of some Cylon models more familiar to us Galactica old timers. SciFi later decided to carve out these "flashback" sequences and turn them into two-minute episodes that would air as promotional spots as as webisodes, so I didn't even have to wait until the late-November premier of Razor to find out.

Well, my hopes were raised in Flashback #3, where a young William Adama fights against some decidedly retro-style Cylon raiders. The big pay-off, though is is Flashback #4, where Adama comes face to face with a Cylon pilot. Yes, it's old-school. No, it doesn't look like a guy in a suit this time. Yes, I am pleased.

Okay, I am a geek.

Okay, so I loved how the old Cylons looked and how they sounded, but lets face it, they were never a fraction of the threat that the new guys are. And thus the inspiration for this week's cartoon. See, those old Cylons could never hit the broad side of a barn. In fact, a archetypal old-Galactica scene would be to have Starbuck or Apollow (or both) encounter a group of Cylons in a corridor somewhere. The Cylons would shoot first, and despite our heroes making no effort to take cover, they would miss. In fact, the Cylons could fire any number of rounds and they would seem to hit anything but the heroes standing in plain sight. Then Starbuck (or Apollo, or both) would squeeze off a singled shot, which would explode the dead-center of the nearest Cylon's chest, and it would fall down. Wash, rinse, repeat, until you run out of Cylons to shoot.

So for years, whenever my wife and I have seen TV or movie villains (or their minions) who couldn't seem to shoot straight when it came to hitting the good-guys, we identified them as graduates of the "Cylon School of Marksmanship." Well, finally, after all these years, we get to see how the process works.

See you guys next week.

- Steve