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Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Monday, February 27, 2012

Minions #309 - Bug Busters

Click to Cross (Bigger) Beams!



Greetings, Pests and Pesticides!


This week I've pulled a couple of officially licensed toys out of the collection here to pay tribute to a couple of movies I love, Ghostbusters and Starship Troopers. Ghostbusters is a comedy classic, and reports have circulated the last couple of years that a new sequel is in development.  Just as many reports have circulated that Bill Murray doesn't want to do it, and that it won't go without Murray.  I can't say if that's a good thing or not.  Ghostbusters II was less than a masterpiece.  But the concept is simply too wonderful not to revive in some form.

The 1/6th scale Ghostbusters Ray figure here is one of a limited edition set that was made by Mattel a couple years back, and sold only through their web-site.  They made a whole set, but the budget here precluded my getting more than one.  Still, the wonderful little ghost-trap and proton pack are the real attractions, and they were identical on every figure, so in a sense, get one, get them all.

When I first saw director Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, I was a bit mystified by it, and very disappointed it didn't included the powered armor than had been a highlight of the book, and that I'd been waiting to see in a movie since I read it back in the 60s. I didn't come away hating it, but I wasn't sure if I liked it either.  But it had it's moments, the bugs looked great, and to my mind Doogie Howser M.D. marching around in a pseudo S.S. uniform was just awesome.

But a year or two back I happened to pick up the DVD in the bargain bin, just for the bonus material, and watched it again.  To my surprise, I loved it.  It's a brilliantly subversive film that parodies Heinlein's border-line fascism basically by playing it straight (and just a little over the top).  Essentially, it's an old-time propaganda movie created by a fascist state we're supposed to be horrified.  Basically, if you watch carefully, you'll see the the whole war is based on a tissue of lies, and that there clearly other agendas at work.  In many ways, it would have been considered a brilliant parody of the second invasion of Iraq, except it happened first.

Yes, I still miss the powered armor, but you can get your temporary fix by rewatching the power-loader battle with the alien queen in Aliens.

So, it works on two levels, as a straight-forward, gung-ho, kick-butt action movie, and as political satire, and it does both very, very well.  I've watched it again since, and there's something new to think about every time.  Or don't think.  Just turn off your brain, sit back, and enjoy the explosions and carnage.  It's the movie for all occasions!

This Galoob movie-tie-in soldier-bug toy is a fortunate thrift-store find.  I think I paid $2 for him.  They're going for $10-25 loose on eBay, and over twice that in the box.  He's not really in scale with the Minions figures (he should probably be about twice as big) but he's still a big, impressive toy, and love the "chomp-chomp-chomp" sound effect it makes when you close his jaws on something!

There's also a new Starship Troopers movie in the works, possibly for 2014, though it's a long way from a sure thing.  I don't know if it will be any good, but by all reports, it will at least have powered armor this time.


Now on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY NEW PANORAMA BEACH MYSTERY, A BREATH AWAY FROM DYING!


Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell knows there's something wrong with the scene when he responds to a prowler call at the Aquarama aquarium and underwater-show, and finds a dead mermaid laying on the shore of the Mermaid Grotto. But he's dismissed from the case by a treacherous superior officer, who bungles the investigation and rules her death an accident. 


So when Sheriff "Big" Bass asks him to take a secretive, off-duty, second look at the case, he's eager to please despite the danger. 


But there are deep secrets, cut-throat business, old-flames, and hidden agendas waiting for him, and before Mustang knows which way the tide is running, he'll be in hot water -- face-to-face with a killer!


Welcome to Panorama Beach, Florida, 1967, where the sand is white as sugar, the attractions are larger-than-life, and the money is all dirty and rolling in like a storm tide! Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell is the new badge in town, and he just wants to do the right thing. 


But he's fallen under the wing of his dangerous and morally compromised boss, Sherriff "Big" Bass, who calls himself "the best devil money can buy." Big Bass will tell you that he may be a little bad, but anybody who replaces him will be even worse. Mustang would really like to believe that -- because otherwise, this good-old-boy may have just booked himself on a rocket-ride to hell!


Now on Kindle, Nook and Smashwords.  Coming soon to all major ebook sellers!


See you guys back here next week!

- Mystery Minion Master Steve
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Monday, January 05, 2009

Lair Report: James Bond in "Doctor No"



As promised, this is the first in a series of "Lair Reports" highlighting various lairs, minions, and overlords from popular culture.

This time was start with the granddaddy of them all, the 1962 James Bond film, "Doctor No."

This certainly isn't the best James Bond lair (though it's good), or villain, or movie, but it is the one that sets the standards by which all others are measured. It's the movie that launched a thousand cliches!

In the film, Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate what may be causing U.S. missile and rocket launches to malfunction. He uncovers rumors about the mysterious Doctor No, and strange goings on at his private island, Crab Key.

Eventually Bond arrives on Crab Key, loses his guide to a flame-shooting tank, picks up a half-dressed Ursula Andress, is captured, escapes, in infiltrates the lair just as Doctor No's evil plan is coming to fruition.

You figure out the rest.

LAIR REPORT

Of course, what we're interested in here is the lair and its occupants. I'm going to try and develop a standardized system by which lairs can be compared. Individual features will be ranked from zero (not present) to ten (most excellent).

Forgive me, as the system will probably be refined as we go along, though Doctor No should provide a decent template.

The Overlord:







Appearance: Anglo actor in Asian makeup.
Rank 3

Dress: Chairman Mao suits, plastic radiation hoods. Rank 5

Special Abilities, features, or disfigurements: Mechanical hands under black rubber gloves. Rank 8

Minions:

Minion Type: Basic human, including Chinese guards and soldiers, female Chinese housekeepers, and assorted generic technical types. Rank 4

Minion Uniforms: Chinese looking military uniforms, color coded and transparent radiation suits, nurse-like dresses for the housekeepers. Rank 6 (Add points for color coding, subtract points for those dresses.)

Special Minion Equipment: Assorted guns and machine guns. Radiation detectors. Rank 3


Minionmobiles:
Patrol boats equipped with machine guns. Fire breathing dragon tank. Rank 8







The Lair:

Location:
Scenic Crab Key. Blue waters, white sandy beaches, swaying palm trees, waterfalls, and Ursula Andress in a bikini. It doesn't get better than this! Rank 10

Exterior: It's disguised as a mine. Or it's under-water. Or something. We really don't see much of it from the outside. Rank 2

Lair Nerve Center: Check. Massive control room with nuclear reactor and satellite control station. Rank 8

Easily Accessible Man-sized Ventilator Ducts: Check! It all starts here! Rank 10

Overlord Bachelor Pad: Check! Includes "mod" fireplace, antiques, and a gigantic aquarium that magnifies its fish to look even bigger. Rank 8

Guest Accommodations: Check! Includes both Spartan holding cells (with easy access to the ventilator system via a poorly protected vent), and luxury "gilded cage" apartments, complete with room service and pointlessly-drugged coffee. Rank 9

Easy to Identify Self-destruct Feature: Check! Just turn the dial up to "Really Dangerous!" Rank 10

Special Lair Features: Dragon tank garage, nuclear reactor, "hot room" with robot waldo-arms to handle radioactive materials, underground corridors with vault-like doors, radiation decontamination room with conveyor-belt showers, fluffy towels, and anti-radiation gas-pumps, retractable anti-satellite antenna, interrogation room with cool, shadow-casting, circular skylight. Rank 7

More Illogical than Usual Design Flaws: The easily accessible air ducts in Doctor No's lair periodically flood with water for no apparent reason (reactor coolant?). Parts of them also heat up (from the nuclear reactor?). Maybe it's just me, but I prefer not to have hot reactor cooling water spewing out of my air-conditioning ducts!

Also, Doctor No has foolishly located his entire control room inside the nuclear reactor chamber, so that the operators actually had to wear radiation suits, even when operating the missile control equipment that had nothing to do with the reactor. I just can't see how this is a good idea.

Rank: -8


LAIR-O-MATIC SCORE: 6.2

This is the definitive lair, but not the best. Most all the essential features are here (and many of them originate here), but many lack the scope and refinement that will follow.

Still, this movie is a must-see for any lairophile. We give it a gloved thumbs-up

Monday, December 29, 2008

Minions #143 - How do you spell Xmas?



Stand by, following some new commercial jibber-jabber for a body-shot from your Minion Master!

Your visit is important to us. Please give all your government bail-outs to the nearest Minion and we'll continue doing things as we always have because, hey, that's been working for us so far, right?


NEW! SUPPORT "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY!

We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!

Later, we'll be adding a selection of Minion-recommended merchandise, but until then, use your imagination. Books, videos, electronics, games, maybe even ACTION FIGURES!
Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Naughty is as naughty does!)

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

Greetings, New Years Deresolutions!

Yes, one more swipe at Christmas before we move on to the new year. I finally got a half-way decent Santa, sort-of-in-scale, so I had to make use of him while I could.

You know, sometimes when you're doing a strip like this, you just don't know if what you're doing is funny, or terrible, or in horrid taste, or what. This is one of those occasions. Well, what I've learned is, go with it. Usually somebody will really like it, and the rest will usually forget it soon enough.

Go ahead. Start forgetting!

Other Reports from the Lair

Over the holidays, Mrs. Minion Master and I have been on a James Bond marathon. We now own all the Bond movies on DVD, except for Quantum of Solace (which will be added soon enough), the comedy version of Casino Royale from the 60s (which hardly counts to my mind) and the "unauthorized" Never Say Never Again (the non-Eon remake of Thunderball starring Sean Connery, released about the same time as the Roger Moore "Octopussy.")

A liquidator-type store near us got on a bunch of what were apparently anniversary releases from 7-8 years back. While the current Bond DVD releases are stripped down, these have tons of excellent documentaries, supporting material, and other extras, and they were priced at a too-good-to-pass-up $4.99 each. I got a couple, and before long, a couple more, and before we knew what we were doing, we had the whole danged set.

From a Minions at Work standpoint, it's been great to see all the villains, gadgets, and lairs again. I'm thinking about reviewing some of the films from a lair/overlord/minion-centric perspective. The best lair to my mind is still the volcano from "You Only Live Twice," but there are plenty of other great ones.

It's also interesting to check out the minions and their uniforms. Best dressed have got to be the painted-on red jumpsuits with black belts (on all-female minions) in "Octopussy," but there are other good ones, like the color-coded minions from "You Only Live Twice." Then there are a few that are terrible to behold. Yeah, I've got to blog about that here at some point.

Anyway, we're off to Florida in a couple weeks, but while watching Bond films, I built some interesting new set pieces, and there should be plenty of new cartoons to see us through the traveling.

Keep sharing the link with your friends! We've got a world to take over here!

- Goldblogger Steve

- Your Mastersaurus Rex, Steve

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Minions #108/#109 - Double Feature





CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Binoculars!


Just because I felt like it this week, two cartoons instead of one. Are they twice as funny? Uh-- Did I mention there were two?

Actually, only you can judge how funny they are. Some I've though were hysterical created barely a ripple with you guys, and some I've wondered if I should post at all turned out to be the most popular ever. Who knows?

But occasionally I compensate for uncertainty with quantity. I'm not saying this is one of those times. But it does happen.

On other matters, Minion Number One isn't here this week because he's moping by the mailbox. Seems you folks haven't sent in as many emails with questions for him as he'd like to see. Surely there must be something you've wondered about Minion life, about your favorite overlord, or just about life in general that might benefit from that unique Minion perspective. Drop him a note care of my address right now! His favorites will be answered in future video segments.

See you next week,

-Steve

Friday, December 07, 2007

Minions #93 - Holiday Spirit



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Don't miss the latest reality programming from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial rerun...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY

(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

QUIET ON THE SET! ANOTHER BULL-HORN BLAST FROM YOUR MINION MASTER
:

Greetings, Extras,

Well, we've survived the Great Storm of 2007 here on the Oregon coast. (At least I hope so. Not that I doubt we survived. Just that I hope this was actually the Great Storm of 2007. If it isn't really here yet, I don't want to know about it. Well, yeah, I do, so I can move safely inland first!) See previous posts and links to my regular blog for details and pictures.

Actually, at this point, there's nothing I'd like more than to kick back and slack off for a while, but I used up the last cartoon in inventory last week. So I had to come up with something quick, and I thought, why not get the holiday season started a little early this year? Actually, I'm pretty happy this one (and it gets a big thumbs up from Chris). Now, on to thinking something up for next week.

See you then.

-Steve

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Minions #90 - Unscripted




CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Don't miss the latest reality programming from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial rerun...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY

(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

An unscripted message from your Fearless Leader:

Uh, is this thing on? Hi, mom! Testing one, two, three,


Hoo needs ritters anyways? All thay doo is rite the skrips. Qualatay mooves and telavizion kums frum Gaud, 2 thu direkor, tu the aktor, two U. Thiss wuz inventad bi thu Frinch. Thay kall it thu "otter theery." Everbaudy nos thiz. Ritters R slitely les impourtant thn thee gye hoo dryves D-livers th pourtabl toylets tu tha lokation. Whoo kneads thym?

Orr az Nummer Won wood sae...

Sea U nxt weak.

-Stebe

Ha, ha! Humor! Actually, most directors are fine and wonderful folk, and their contract is coming up for renegotiation soon too. It's the management and the media corporation who are the issue here. Management. (Special note to Mr. Michael Bay. Please, please, sir, don't bring down and air-strike on my ass!)