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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Minions #54 - Troubled Waters



Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

A poisoned candygram from Minion Central:

Greetings, Minions and Wimmons,


Hey, is that a bridge over something? Not water, actually. Didn't use a drop in making this week's cartoon. No, it's not heavy photoshop either (though I did some touch-up). It's magic, baby! Love that magic!

Enough talk. Busy. Deadlines. Must go. Next week. Bye.

- JSY

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Minions #53 - Things Change



Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it.

A Missive from your friendly Overlord:

Greetings, Maxi-Minions,

What can I say about this week's cartoon. Sometimes, a plan just comes together. Sometimes we have a prop in search of a punch-line. Sometimes we have a punch-line in search of a prop. But in this case, we had a punch-line, and the prop practically built itself and homed in on the punch-line like a joke-seeking missile. (What a fiendish plan. We've got to work on that!)

I remind you that that the new anthology "If I Were an Evil Overlord" is not available in your favorite store or bookseller. You'll find the link to the right to buy it from BarnesandNobel.com, but if you're the type who prefers to buy through Amazon, use this link. And stay tuned following my usual ramblings for an excerpt from my story in said book, titled "Gordie Culligan vs. Dr. Longbeach and the HVAC of Doom."

Beyond that the usual. Spread the word. Blah, blah. Buy the shirts. Blah, blah. Join the reminder list. Blah, blah. And if you check the sidebar, you'll see that, in another desperate attempt to make this evil venture profitable (or at least, not so much of a money pit) I'm experiment with "Google Adsense" advertising. Check it out, and if you should choose to click through to visit our sponsors, some billionth of a cent will be sent in my direction.

Keep in mind, I have no control or idea what ads will appear on the site. Supposedly, they'll be automatically chosen to tie into the content of our humble site. Given what we do here, it may be highly entertaining (and possibly frightening) to see what sorts of ads will appear as the robots zero in on us. (Which is a good evil plan. I've got to work on that!)

This is just an experiment, and as always, your input is welcome. Feel free to drop a comment on the site or send me an email.

And now, onto an excerpt from my story in "If I Were an Evil Overlord." Keep in mind, this excerpt is taken from my unedited manuscript, not the final book copy. Any typos or errors are caused entirely by the internet... Okay, I might have had something to do with it too.



I tell you, when I answered that ad in the back of Popular Mechanics long ago, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Sure, I expected steady work, good pay, excellent benefits, and the respect and admiration of my friends and family. That goes without saying.
But I never expected the intrigue, the danger, the adventure!

My name is Gordie Culligan, and I’m the man from HVAC. That’s Heating, Ventilation and Air-Conditioning to you. God, I love the smell of a fried starter-capacitor in morning!

It was a day like any other day in the Los Angeles basin, but I felt something in the air. Possibly it was the unusual number of ominous, glowing, saucer-shaped clouds moving against the wind, or the swarms of atomic, robot bats flapping their way east over Burbank, or the unusual number of electric dirigibles, blue arcs of lighting crackling between their protruding electrodes, that circled over the San Diego freeway. Maybe it was just the greenish tinge to the smog. But I knew something was up.

Now sure, I know if you don’t live in LA, you’d consider any one of those things cause for alarm, but that’s why you live where you live, and I live in the greatest city in the world.

Sure, it was a little startling at first, but this is LA, baby! You live here for a while, you see things like this every day, and nothing ever, ever comes of it, you just start to take it for granted. Sure, there are giant robots in Tarzana and giant beetles in Griffith Park, but when you’ve had Conan for a governor, nothing is that strange any more.

By now, you’re probably saying, “Gordie, this is all very interesting and all, but what about the air-conditioning?” See it all ties in, and until recently, I didn’t know that. You see all those crazy things, and you take it for granted that nothing ever happens. By you know why nothing ever happens?

Because of guys like me, that’s why. HVAC saves the world, baby! That’s what this town is about!

(Continued in "If I Were an Evil Overlord.")



Now get to the bookstore! Dang, I'm evil.

See you next week.

-Steve, Overlord in residence

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Minions #52 - Immigrant labor



Click image for full-sized version.

Visit:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:


Greetings Minionoids,

Advice of the day: Be careful what you wish for...


Brag of the day: Remember a while back when we gave away a signed copy of my wife Chris' ALIAS tie-in novel, A Touch of Death? Well, it's a nominee for the 2006 IAMTW Scribe Awards, in the catagory of
Best Young Adult Novel (All Genres), which will be awarded at this year's San Diego Comicon. Big congrats to Chris!.

Just a reminder, if you order a Minions shirt or other item, be sure to send us your pictures of you wearing or using your items. We'll post them here on the site. Just to get you rolling, here are a couple shots of our model Zoe. (our kinda, sorta, almost granddaughter who we're crazy about. Familial relationships are complicated in the 21st century.)

She's wearing our "Infant/Toddler Evil Nature T-Shirt." I'm promised some pictures from the back, eventually, which reads (of course) "Evil is not my nature. Evil is just my day job." At only $9.99, it's a great conversation piece, and will give your toddler the fear and respect they deserve. Why have rug-rats, when you can have little Minions?

I've also had some requests for new items. First of all, Black shirts. Yes, I want these too, but I have to redo my art for the new shirts, and just haven't gotten around to it yet. Soon. When I do, maybe I'll also do some red shirts. Mainly around here, we're about the black and the white, but red-shirts are kind of Minions of good. You know what happens to red-shirts don't you?


Also, I had a (gulp!) request for a Minions thong. Well, okay, we try to please. I've just added an "evil nature" thong to the store, at least on a trial basis. Okay, if you send me thong pictures, we are not posting them on the site!

But since I want to be sure the store is considered family/office friendly, maybe I'll start up a separate shop for undies and such at some point. "Number 2's House of Naughty" has a nice ring to it.

Well, that's all for this week. As always, share with your friends, and never let the Overlords catch you napping...

- Steve, Minion Underlord.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Minions #51 - Frequent Flier



Visit:

THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
Looking is free - at least until we can find a way to charge for it. We're evil, darn it!

I Can Make You Famous!

Well, for about 15 seconds anyway, which according to Andy Warhol, gives you a remaining lifetime quota of 14 minutes and 45 seconds to save for a rainy day. After all, why blow it all at once by, say, getting out of a limousine without any underwear? Make it last! Simply buy a Minions shirt from our Lair of Merchandise today, and send us a picture of you (or your child, or your dog, or your killer cyborg from the future) wearing it, and we'll post it here for your fellow Minions Lovers to enjoy. Or better yet, buy a shirt once a year, send us a new picture, and enjoy fame through (if not throughout) the next 60 years! Such a deal! (Disclaimer: We reserve the right to edit or exclude pictures in such bad taste that even we won't touch them, or that or unsuitable for family viewing. Not to say that we won't keep our own private gallery here at the lair, mind you. We're evil, darn it!)


Join the Minions reminder email list or the penguin gets it!*. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, the penguin always gets it, usually well before we do. He's got an IQ of 210 after all...

Notes from the Minion Master:

Still buried here at Minions Central. Our bathroom remodel, which was supposed to take place in two stages weeks apart all happened at once, as our tile guy had a hole open up in his schedule. Also, my first day of jury-duty Thursday (no, they didn't actually put me on a jury). So the bad news is a week of work-disaster for this privacy-craving ("...who dares enter the lair of Doctor Anti-social!") Overlord. Good news is, I still managed to come up with a new Minions at Work in the ta-da nick of time. (And you thought only the good-guys could manage that!)