Minons #117 - Bad Trip

PLEASE READ ON AFTER THIS WEEK'S CARTOON AND COMMERCIAL FLIBBER-GIBBER FOR AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE NEAR-FUTURE OF MINIONS AT WORK!


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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Gas Guzzlers!

Yes, it's true, the Minions are going on vacation. Not just Number 2. ALL of them. Yup, you won't see a new cartoon with a Minion in it for the next FIVE WEEKS!

But never fear. I wouldn't leave you without cartoons. Oh, no! Because while the Minions are all going on vacation, the Overlords are hard at work. In fact, Doctor Coldblood has called together all the Overlords for their annual convention of the...

Yes, the greatest Masters of Evil in all the world, Doctor Coldblood, Cap'n Rehab, Doctor Funkystein, General Zed, and Captain Hardluck have united to doom us all, if they can figure out a way to agree on anything!

So tune in all through July (and a little of August) for your weekly installment of Overlords at Work!

And then in five weeks, the Minions will be back, tanned, rested, and ready to goof off at the earliest opportunity!

Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week,

Steve

Minions #116 - Big Job

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Short-orders!

Minions Studios has spiders, and I don't mean just the fake kind we use for props. In order to blend into its surroundings, the studios are built into a residential garage built in 1942. The walls are enclosed, but the ceilings are open to the original beams, and that means spiders. Let's just say that the 18" Spider-Man figure displayed crawling along the bottom of my storage loft is enhanced by a covering of real webs... Occasionally I have to sweep the ceiling to take down the build-up of spider webs and cobwebs. I also spot them crawling on the walls regularly.

Mostly they don't bother me though. I've never been bit, and I don't think I've ever had one crawl on me. But I do think about it occasionally, especially after that one time that I saw a spider about the size of a poodle, peering at me from under the pile of papers on my desk one night. But I've never gone so far as to spray the place. I think it would only make the archnapoodle mad.

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Minions #115 - Mock Minion

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Short-orders!

Hey, folks! Are you asleep out there? We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Minions #114 - SubMinion

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Handy Friends!

Still getting better here from the Martian-Death-Sickness here at Minion Central. We used most of the energy we had celebrating the birthday of Mrs. Minion Master, Chris. So give her a big hand. Without here patience, forbearing, and occasional creative and editorial input, none of this is possible. Yay, Chris!

But anyway, sick, tired, and busy, did we shluff off and miss another cartoon? No! Did we raid the photo archives and recycle some content? No! We cooked up a fresh (if not especially complicated) Minions shoot for you! Are we keen, or what?

See you next week.

-Steve

Minions #113 - Overtime to Kill

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Long Timers No Seers!

I guess you noticed (well, I sure hope you noticed) that there was no new Minions at Work last week. I can only plead that the Lair has been struck by biological warfare, and we've all been sick here. We're doing better, but I confess that when the creative part of my brain started to function again, I prioritized working on this that had a better chance of actually making me money. You guys want to stay further up the priority heap, you need to start shopping in our Cafe Press stores, visiting our advertisers, or at least working a little harder to inflict -- uh, I mean share -- Minions at Work with others.

Ha, ha, ha! Guilt trip! Are we evil, or what? (Actually I'm the one feeling guilty. I'll try to throw in an extra cartoon in the next couple weeks to make it up to you.)





Okay, now that we're through that, let's get back to the story as-yet unnamed new Minion that I mentioned a couple weeks back. Most of our main Minions at Work characters use a specific action figure body (A Power Team G3 body with gloved hands, if you want the boring specifics). I've got a big stock of them, most of which I've bought new over the last few years, but occasionally a find one at a thrift store (where a lot of our props and set-pieces also come from).

This was one of those finds, and as sometimes happens in thrift-stores, the figure had obviously seen some kid adventures before it got to me. Something had been driven into the middle of the forehead and broken off flush with the skin. Since I often cover the faces on Minions figures, this was no dead-breaker, but I was curious, so when I got it home I got a pair of needle-nose pliers, got a grip in the intrusion, and pulled.

Now, I don't know what I expected. Maybe a small piece of metal, but what came out was a loooong, gleaming, needle-tipped metal spike. Somebody had driven a full-sized regulation dart into his head and broken it off. Not the little scale version he has now, but I full-sized pub dart!

So now I had a figure with a hole in the forehead. My first impulse was to put him in a face mask or something, but I kept putting it off. And then came the day that I found my miniature darts. It just seemed natural to jam one in there and see what it looked like.

The rest is history.

(Still trying to find a number for the new-guy. Send us your suggested number, along with your reason for picking it. You could name a Minion!)

See you next week (presuming no more Martian-death-germs).

- Steve

Minions #112 - Croc of Pit

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Zeeba Neighbas!

Okay, sometimes we're silly, and sometimes we're really silly. I couldn't resist a nod to my current favorite newspaper comic strip, "Pearls Before Swine." It's the most evil and subversive thing in the funnies today. We approve.

- See you next week.

-Steve

Minions #111 - Decisions, Decisions

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Indecisives!

Okay, I'm late this week, which is a shame, since this kinda has a Mother's Day theme to it.

I've been a little under the weather. I blew out my voice yelling at a rock concert a few weeks ago (man, I really am getting old), which lead to a nagging cough which I just couldn't shake, and I finally realized I was just going to have to stop talking for a day or two until my throat got better.

This has been a strange experience. I mean, the silent thing is kind of mysterious, but it makes it hard to order a cheeseburger at the drive-through. Super-villains have big, booming voices for a reason: they need cheeseburgers. Glad I could clear that up.

Anyway, you'll notice we have a new Minion this week. Actually, I've been planning to bring him in for about six months now, but I could never find the perfect cartoon to introduce him. Now he needs a number. If you have an idea for what number he should be, leave it in a comment. (And yes, 13 is taken. So are 0, 1, 2, 9, 10, and 67 plus a few others I don't remember off the top of my head. So help us name our new Minion...

Minions #110 - Tip of the Hat

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Cow-tippers!

I'm busy shooting new shots to be used in a future "letters" video (hey, still need your questions for No. 1! Get on them!) so I had to dip into the stock photos again this week for our cartoon. I don't mind doing this now and then, but I hate to make a habit of it, even when they're funny (which they often are).

I promise you'll get totally farm-fresh Minions next week, not that artificially-ripened stuff we've been importing from Chile.

Minions Moment of the Week:
Just saw the movie Iron Man, and I think it's interesting that Tony Stark discovers he's working for the Forces of Evil, and he's self-employed! See, anyone can be a Minion of Evil, even you...

See ya next week,

-Steve

Minions #108/#109 - Double Feature

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Binoculars!

Just because I felt like it this week, two cartoons instead of one. Are they twice as funny? Uh-- Did I mention there were two?

Actually, only you can judge how funny they are. Some I've though were hysterical created barely a ripple with you guys, and some I've wondered if I should post at all turned out to be the most popular ever. Who knows?

But occasionally I compensate for uncertainty with quantity. I'm not saying this is one of those times. But it does happen.

On other matters, Minion Number One isn't here this week because he's moping by the mailbox. Seems you folks haven't sent in as many emails with questions for him as he'd like to see. Surely there must be something you've wondered about Minion life, about your favorite overlord, or just about life in general that might benefit from that unique Minion perspective. Drop him a note care of my address right now! His favorites will be answered in future video segments.

See you next week,

-Steve

Bonus Minions #107 - Earth Day

(Okay, I felt funny not getting out a regular cartoon this week at just about the same time I realized I hadn't done anything for Earth Day. So this is what I came up with.)


(Click on cartoon for full-sized version)

Minons #106 - Video Special "Letter Rip!"

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Ill-letterates!

Well, I warned you there would be more video, and it's come sooner than I expected. But I've climbed a bunch of the learning curve, and while "Minions Tonight" literally took me weeks and weeks, I was pretty much able to this one (which was admittedly a lot simpler) in a single day, and any follow-on "letters" episodes should go even quicker, since I've done a lot of the ground-work.

So how's about helping by sending your questions, letters and requests to "Minions Mail" care of yours truly. We'll make fun of -- uh -- answer the best ones in future installments.

See you next time.

Your Minion-master,
Steve

Minions #105 - Laugh Riot

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Bar-flies!

Okay, I'm late this week. First of all, TAXES. Second, we were out of town this weekend for a most unusual wedding. You really have to give chops to a wedding that lists "Bridesminons" in the program. (I'll post some on-topic pictures next week.)

Anyway, I'd hoped to do something new and tax-related this week, but just didn't have time. So instead I'm dipping into my inventory for something more generic. Hey, at least I had an inventory to dip into.

Anyway, back next week with something new, because... Well, actually, because the inventory is empty now. Time to stock up again...

Well, enough delay. Time to post. See ya'll next week.

-Steve

New Feature

As an experiment, I've added a new feature to the site. Scroll WAY to the bottom, and you'll find a list of "labels." These are tags that I add to each post to indicate the appearance of a particular character, setting, or subject matter. Clicking on one of these labels will pull up all the posts with that label.

So you can easily find all the cartoons that feature the Penguin, or Doctor Coldblood, or Dinosaurs, or even Thunderburger, just as examples.

I don't like the way this is formatted, but the list is so long I think it would be even worse in the sidebar. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.

Minions #104 - Color Correction

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Sub-Mariners!

"Black." "White." Pretty funny words to hang a value judgment on, but that's the way language worlds.

I understand. I'm left handed, and that has some strange associations of its own. For instance, guess what the word "sinister" means?

Ah, well, we're evil here. We admit it, so we'll fess to the "sinister" thing. So I guess I don't know what it's like. It's better to be feared than disrespected.

Still, many, many years ago, when I was working on retail, there was this regular customer that I thought I had a good relationship with. We were friendly, always had a laugh when he came in, and he bought a lot of stuff from me. But one day I happened to hand-write an order in front of him. He looked at me writing and said, just like he was commenting on the weather, "I could never hire somebody like you."

And he meant it. Writing left-handed was just wrong as far as he was concerned. Nothing personal, but you're an inferior being I just can't stand to be around.

Human beings are wired to divide the world up into "Us" and "Them," and pretty much try to drive "Them" out of our patch of monkey-jungle. Or kill them, or just enslave them and put them to work.

But we've evolved at least a little since our monkey days. We get to choose who we include in "Us" and who is "Them." And I happen to be of the opinion, the bigger your "Us," the better the world will be. And if you have to put anybody at all in the "them" category, I hope you have a way better reason than "left or right, black or white."

WAY better.

A rare serious moment from your Minion Master. We now rejoin Evil, already in progress.

- Steve

Minions #103 - Listing to Starboard

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Got a friend or relative who's in the real-estate business? They really need cheering up right now. Share the link for this Minions at Work cartoon with them right now!

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Multiple Listings!

Our motto at Minions Studios is "keep it real." Okay, mostly what we keep is surreal, but I don't often resort to photo-editing on our cartoons. It isn't because I can't, but I try to keep things within the context of the world I can create for you on a bench-top most of the time.

But there are occasions, especially when it comes to presenting the massive Lairs of our evil overlords and their infernal devices, that nothing I can build here is going to do. This is one of those times.

Strangely, as much as I fight doing this, I'm usually pretty pleased with the results (like this one here) when I do. I'm pretty pleased with this week's too. I don't know how funny it is, but it's pretty!

By the way, did you look closely at the sign in the cartoon? If not, go check it out. I'll wait...

Okay, you're back. According to the description there, the volcano lair is one of the biggest buildings in the world, with about twice the square footage of that shrimpy-old-Pentagon. There is, however, a shopping mall in China with about the same square footage of retail space (most of it standing empty, according to sources on the net).

In any case, it's curious that somebody from the Guinness Book of World Records hasn't come to call. Hmmm, perhaps Coldblood Bilker is telling a little fib about the square footage? Could be. They're evil baby!

See you next week!

-Steve

Minions #102 - Allez Evil!

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and

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*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Hungry Masses!

I never know what kind of trouble I'm getting in when I start making pop-culture references here. I mean, everyone knows Batman, Superman, or James Bond, but what if I'm the only one around who ever watches the Food Network and their series Iron Chef America (or the Japanese original)? If not, will you get this week's panel? Oh, well, you buys your ticket, and you takes your chances. Us cool people get it.

Now, back to reading Anthony Bourdain's book, "The Nasty Bits." Bourdain is my favorite culinary super-villain. If you've missed his classic "Kitchen Confidential," you've missed a treat.

See ya next week,

-Steve

Minions #101 - Back-in Trouble

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Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Patient Ones!

Well, again, this isn't Minions At Work #100, because... Wait, that was last week!

Never mind.

Back to our usual foolishness, already in progress.

-Steve

Minions At Work #100!

Greetings, Minions Fans! At long last it's here! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story! It's Minions at Work #100 the movie!

This one has everything. Minion No. 1. Minion Number 2. Special guest stars. Music. Firearms.

Get ready to kiss seven minutes and thirty seconds of your life goodbye.



Feel free to link this from your own web page or blog and to share it with your friends (and enemies).

This was a lot of fun, but it was way more work than I imagined. Still, I doubt it's the last Minions at Work video you'll see. Better start getting ready for 200 now!

See you next week with the regular mayhem.

Your Minion-master,
-Steve

Minion 99.9 - Youth Movement

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While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Greetings, Patient Ones!

Okay, not #100 again. But I was professionally busy over the weekend. I wrote AND sold a new short story called "Boldly Reimagined" to an upcoming hero-themed anthology edited by Denise Little. (See the sidebar for info on "Frontlines" another anthology coming up in May, also edited by Denise, in which Chris and I both have stories, or just follow this link to Amazon.com).

There was also an interesting nibble that could lead to the most exciting Minions-related event yet, but it's WAY premature to say more than that. It could come to nothing. I'll keep you posted.

On the #100 front, the good news is that the sound (unless I've forgotten something) is FINALLY all recorded, and I'm working on the final editing of it. Then I can finish the picture editing. If so, maybe I can finish it this week. If not -- uh -- 99.91 anyone?

This just turned out to be a much bigger project than I expected. I hope it's worth the effort. A lot of people see these YouTube videos, so maybe it will drag some more visitors in here.

As always, drop us a note or comment with your reactions to our cartoons or anything else of interest. Suggestions for our sidebar "evil overlords" and "good names for rock bands" lists are always welcomed.

We also love links from other sites (and will return the favor in our "thanks for the link" section) and any other grass-roots promotion you folks do. Share Minions at Work with your family, friends, and your other message boards and mailing lists. We appreciate it so much that we'll hold off dispatching our atomic robot dragons to burn down your garage. For this week, anyway. Thanks.

See you next week.

-Steve

Minions 99.8 -Small Favors

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Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Greetings, Disappointed Ones!

No, it isn't Minons #100 yet. What I haven't told anyone is that Minions #100 has been done for weeks. Actually, I'm stalling to give myself more time to work on Minions #200. It's coming up fast!

No, not only is it not #100, I'm late. Lots of stuff going on here, and yet more visitors in town later in the week.

As for #100, what I'm being reminded of from my old college movie-making days is that pictures are easy. Sound is hard. My office/studio is a converted garage, and it's not well soundproofed. The weather has turned nice here on the Oregon coast, so all around me the kids have been running up and down the street screaming, people are fixing roofs and doing repairs (I'm waiting for someone to clean my chimney right now, in fact), and even the birds have contributed, gulls fighting noisily on my office roof. I'm down to the last scene, and if I can get that recorded, the editing should go fast (all the visual elements WERE done weeks ago).

Any bets on 99.9?

See ya next week.

-Big Evil Steve

Minions 99.7 - Long Lunch

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Greetings, Suspended Animations!

Okay, this still isn't #100. I blame it on the writer's strike. Wait? What's this you tell me? The writer's strike is over? Uh, okay... Look! Over there! A WOMBAT!

Okay, not buying that either. Well, though this has been a bad week, I did get another big chunk of the audio recorded. I Have one more segment to do, then I can edit the final audio track and start the final video edit.

Uh. Have I said too much already? Never was that good with secrets. Like all evil overlords, your Minion Master is prone to blurt out his plans well before they're completed. Just living down the the stereotype.

As I mentioned earlier, we spent the word in Pasco, Washington at the Radcon science fiction and gaming convention. This is, I think, our third year attending, and I had a lot of fun. As usual, we got to hang out with lots of friends and to meet cool new folks, and our "Evil is Just my Day Job" buttons proved quite popular. I was on an "Evil Overlord" panel that was lots of fun.

Anyway, I was inspired, after we returned, to throw together this little tribute bonus cartoon in honor of the occasion (and in case you have trouble getting it, just know that the Pasco tri-cities area are right next to the Hanford Nuclear Reservation, of Manhattan Project and cold-war fame).


Anyway, see you next week.


-Steve

Minions 99.6 - A Terrible Thing to Waste

Greetings, Impatient Ones!

Okay, this still isn't #100. I didn't get much done on it last week with house-guests and other projects taking priority, and given that I'm scheduled to be at Radcon in Pasco, Washington next weekend, this week is going to be tight too. So I'm just going to keep cranking out the regular stuff for a couple weeks here until it all comes together. Hang in there. Hopefully it will be worth the wait.

Of course, by now, some of you are probably even doubting that #100 exists! Well, just as proof, here's a preview photo from the set. Hopefully it isn't too much of a spoiler.



So, I'll have another regular cartoon lined up for Monday, on the assumption that #100 won't be done. Hey, cheer up! Winter weather could still cause us to cancel our travel plans (we're driving, and we're not experienced snow drivers) and I'll just have to stay home and work on #100 instead!

One way or another, see you next week.

-Steve

Minions #99.5 - On Watch

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THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
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and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Attention, all hands on deck! All hands on deck! (Whoops, we forgot to surface the sub first. Our bad...

Arr, greetings, scurvy dogs! This be Cap'n Rehab!



You be think'n 'no Minions at Work #100 this week," and yee'd be right enough. It's been one O' them weeks, with fierce weather, out-O-town guests, exploding appliances, and roofers working next-door ta' Big Steve's office so's he couldn't record sound. (Arr. I wasn't supposed to say that!)

So he comes to me and he says, Cap'n I gots a dangerous mission for you (except he dont' say 'gots' cuz' he talks funny-like). I needs you to hold them off shore while I gets this one finished. The odds be hopeless. It's one against an armada. But I gots me confidence in ya's.

Now, Danger ain't me middle name, but it is the middle three digits of me Social Security number, so I heads right down to the docks, has Mister Penguin fire up nuclear reactors, and we sets sail with the tide, and here I be...vamping for all I be worth...

So's, I'm betting you be asking yourself, a dashing rogue of the sea such as yourself, what's yer story?

Well stop shaking in yer leg-irons, 'cuz I'll tell ya's. As for me past, that's a shadowy mystery, and besides, the court records is sealed. But serve it to say that I command the most powerful fish that ever swam the sea, the mighty submarine/reputation rehabilition center, "Naughtyless." She's manned with a full crew O' cutthroats, scalawags, washed-up pop stars, Oscar-winning-mean-drunks, ex-child-actors, and senators with wandering hands. O'course, the whole lot of them put together ain't worth a bilge full O' warm spit as a crew, so's I hires me some Minions to do the real work...

Back off on the bow planes two degrees Mister Penguin, and watch those reactor core temperatures! I know you be an even finer Nuclear Engineer than President Carter, but don't cut it too close in the name O' speed!

Sure'n all these has-beens and never-wases are a scurvy lot, but they keeps me in the tabloids, and that's what really counts. And they pays me, so's I got plenty of doubloons to give the Minions half-wages and short-rations, and still pocket 90% O' thu take.

Arr, 'scuse me. Duty calls. We got some sonar echos -- could be a school O' sardines -- or it might be that bewitching siren of the sea, Betty Ford, come to take us all to a watery grave...

Rendezvous at these coordinates next week, and we'll see what be happenin'

Minions #99 - Boss Beverage

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While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


A belated message from your Minion Master

Greetings, Minimals!

You know, those big, round, numbers are absolutely what kill web comics. I've seen this happen before. The comic creator has in mind to do something really SPECIAL for their 100 (or 200th, or 500th) installment, and they bite off more than they can chew, and then its late, and then the pressure is on, and it's later, and it gets worse, and finally they lose all momentum and give up.

Well, that will never happen here!

Okay, maybe it will. But we WILL NOT be giving up. Minions at Work #100 IS a major undertaking, and I'm still working on it, but we WILL get it done and we WILL get back to your regular old entertainment. Trust me. It will be worth the wait (and will set up a totally new Minions scenario which will provide countless new comic panels as time goes on).

Anyway, we'll be back next week with #100. Or if not, with something. See you then.

-Steve

Not Minons #99 - An announcment from Minion #9

Hey, ya'll. Minion Number 9 here. Steve has asked me to let you know that he's so busy working on Minons At Work #100 that, rather than take time out to dash-off some half-assed cartoon this week, he decided to take a pass this Monday. Doesn't mean that a cartoon won't show up at some point this week. Might. Might not. Just he's not going to put pressure on one way or another.

And hey, while I've got your attention, I just wanted to point out that it's Martin Luther King Jr. day today, and that we at Minions at Work are firmly devoted to the principle that all Minions are created equal, and that each of us, regardless of race, creed, skin-color or the thickness of our eyebrows, are entitled to equal opportunity in employment, housing, education, and to not suffer any MORE oppression than any other Minion under the jack-boots of the evil overlords who trample us all. So reach out to your fellow Minions today. We all toil under the same yoke. Let us share our burdens equally.

Which brings up one other thing. I'm not even IN Minions at Work #100. What the H*#L is up with that? Get me my agent-overlord, Major Percentage, on the phone!

Not feeling the love,
-Number 9

Minions #98 - Don't Asgard, Don't Tell

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THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Kneel before yet another message from your Minion God

Greetings, Anubis Noobs!



Okay, I couldn't resist having one more go with Stargate before we move on.

Also, I didn't want to put together another set while I'm working on something special for Minons at Work #100. In truth, I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew, with only two weeks left, and it isn't like I don't have other things to be doing here (like, oh, I don't know, WRITING BOOKS!).

But I'm going to do my best to deliver. In fact, I will deliver. The big question, will we have to skip straight from Minions at Work #99 to Minions at Work #101 while I get #100 finished?

See you guys next week.

- Stevenubis.

Minions #97 - Staff Weapon

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While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

A message from your Minion God

Greetings, Anubis Noobs!

A little tip of the hat this week to the Stargate universe. I don't know if you knew, but while Stargate SG-1, the series is gone, a direct-to-DVD Stargate SG-1 movie The Ark of Truth, is scheduled for release in March, with a second movie, Stargate Continuum, to follow. (Continuum features the return of one of our favorite evil-doers, the Goa'uld Bal. Frankly, we think the Goa'uld have way more style than the Ori, and Bal the best bad the Goa'uld have to offer. Looking forward to it.

Okay, we're geeks here at Minion central. We admit it.

- See you next week
Lord Steve

Minions #96 - Lab Work

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THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

A New Years message from your Minion Master

Greetings, Leap-years!

Okay, it's been a big week here, what with the unannounced invasion by our Son and his family, so we're running late, and this may not be our "A" material. LIVE WITH IT! Back to normal next year.

Have a safe and happy New Year.

-Steve

Minons #95 - Santa's Chair

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THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Please wait for the next available Santa. No beard pulling, and one present per customer. Santa already knows if you're naughty or nice, so no belaboring the point. Remember that Santa's sleigh does not come equipped with GPS, so all letters to Santa should include a full street address, a zip code, and a day-time phone number. Santa is not responsible for lost or misplaced gifts, especially if they have a value of over five figures, or weigh over a ton. Okay, we admit it. We dropped your freaking Porsche in a snow bank, okay? The reindeer were TIRED! Next!

Greetings, Lap-warmers,

It's been a big day here at the Lair. I had just finished upgrading the evil mainframe (big, new LCD monitor, added a 300gig hard-drive, and a new DVD burner, all of which will be applied to the advancement of future evil Minions projects) when a mysterious call sent my wife Chris into her place of employment (a beachfront resort hotel here on the Oregon coast) in response to an "emergency." There, she was ambushed and forced to participate in an evil scheme, calling to tell me that there had been "flooding" at work, but she'd be home in a minute, which made no sense at all.

She showed up on the doorstep a few minutes later and shouted, "look what I found!" What she'd found was our son and his family, up from California unannounced, including the lovely grandbaby Zoe! Yikes! Our evil plans have been totally outdone! How will we top this one without crashing the Earth into the Sun? (Which is on our "to-do" list, by the way, right after "paint the evil garage.")

Anyway, our Christmas is much brighter. Drat! We had a simply grand funk coming on.

Hope you all have a safe and happy holiday, however you celebrate. Stay warm in your lairs, give your Minions an extra helping of gruel, watch out for the forces of Good, and Santa might just drop something special down the throat of your hollow volcano. Whoops, I don't think that's Santa. I think it's James Bond!

DUCK!

-See you next week!

-Steve

Minions #94 - Truth Hurts

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While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Please hold for a message from the next available Minion Master...

Greetings, Minimal Ones,

Here we are closing in on the end of another year of unrepentant evil, and I realize that we're rapidly coming up on Minions at Work number 100! I'd love to say I have something special planned, but to be honest, I haven't got a clue yet. Got any ideas for what Minions #100 should be about? Drop us a note or comment. I might post some of the better ones. Heck, I might even use some of your ideas! Get to it!

We're still behind on everything here after the storm. I still have wreck of a shed in the front yard that needs cleaning up, and stuff formerly stored in said shed stacked all over my house. There's the usual unrelenting string of Christmas shopping, parties, events, and visitors to take care up. I do not feel in the Christmas spirit. Perhaps I should destroy Australia. Or maybe I'll just eat some more gingerbread and brood. Probably the brooding...

- Steve

Minions #93 - Holiday Spirit

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Don't miss the latest reality programming from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial rerun...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

QUIET ON THE SET! ANOTHER BULL-HORN BLAST FROM YOUR MINION MASTER:

Greetings, Extras,

Well, we've survived the Great Storm of 2007 here on the Oregon coast. (At least I hope so. Not that I doubt we survived. Just that I hope this was actually the Great Storm of 2007. If it isn't really here yet, I don't want to know about it. Well, yeah, I do, so I can move safely inland first!) See previous posts and links to my regular blog for details and pictures.

Actually, at this point, there's nothing I'd like more than to kick back and slack off for a while, but I used up the last cartoon in inventory last week. So I had to come up with something quick, and I thought, why not get the holiday season started a little early this year? Actually, I'm pretty happy this one (and it gets a big thumbs up from Chris). Now, on to thinking something up for next week.

See you then.

-Steve

Storm warning

We're still alive out here. Details and some pictures on my regular blog.

Minions #92 - Replacement Value

(Yes, I know the cartoon actually has "Minions" incorrectly spelled. I'll fix it after the storms pass!)


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Don't miss the latest reality programming from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial rerun...

While waiting for your impending doom, shop:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

A Live Report From Hurricane Central from your Minion Master:

Greetings, Gale-force Friends,


Just a quick note now. Maybe I'll add more later, but we're braced for a serious storm here, and I'm expecting the power to go out any moment. Didn't have time to do a new cartoon this week, so I'm pulling the last one out of my inventory without hardly even checking to see what it is. Hope it's funny! Maybe! Hopefully I'll be back in the Minion business after this blows over (ha!) Monday afternoon. See you on the other side... (Possibly I'll update this later in the week, if I'm able, and if there's something to report...)

-Stormy Steve