Home - About the Minions - About the Overlords

Monday, April 07, 2008

Minions #104 - Color Correction


Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"


(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Greetings, Sub-Mariners!

"Black." "White." Pretty funny words to hang a value judgment on, but that's the way language worlds.

I understand. I'm left handed, and that has some strange associations of its own. For instance, guess what the word "sinister" means?

Ah, well, we're evil here. We admit it, so we'll fess to the "sinister" thing. So I guess I don't know what it's like. It's better to be feared than disrespected.

Still, many, many years ago, when I was working on retail, there was this regular customer that I thought I had a good relationship with. We were friendly, always had a laugh when he came in, and he bought a lot of stuff from me. But one day I happened to hand-write an order in front of him. He looked at me writing and said, just like he was commenting on the weather, "I could never hire somebody like you."

And he meant it. Writing left-handed was just wrong as far as he was concerned. Nothing personal, but you're an inferior being I just can't stand to be around.

Human beings are wired to divide the world up into "Us" and "Them," and pretty much try to drive "Them" out of our patch of monkey-jungle. Or kill them, or just enslave them and put them to work.

But we've evolved at least a little since our monkey days. We get to choose who we include in "Us" and who is "Them." And I happen to be of the opinion, the bigger your "Us," the better the world will be. And if you have to put anybody at all in the "them" category, I hope you have a way better reason than "left or right, black or white."

WAY better.

A rare serious moment from your Minion Master. We now rejoin Evil, already in progress.

- Steve

No comments: