Home - About the Minions - About the Overlords

Monday, August 11, 2008

Minions #123 - Pengions



CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a back-from-Vacation message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Flightless-ones!


Yes, I'm officially back, and so are the Minions.

It was a good trip, if tiring. I'm really having doubts about going back to Comicon unless I have a specific business reason to do so. It's a great place to go as a fan to see stuff, and it's great place for the Big Guys to go to promote something, but for the middle-to-little guys to promote, or especially to do business, it's just too big, loud, and distracting. There are other, more effective ways of getting things done.

So anyway, I've seen the Legion of Doom back into their holes to hatch some new evil schemes. I notice we didn't get a lot of comments on the Overlords at Work cartoons. Does that mean you didn't like them? If so, was it that you didn't like my jokes, or the repeated board-room layouts for a month, or that you just didn't like the Overlords at all?

Let me know. We aim to please.

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, August 04, 2008

Overlords #122 - Democracy in Action


Hey! I dare you to click the above panel! I double dare you! I DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU! What are you? CHICKEN?

Bah! Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...


Greetings, Insignificant Scum!


You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Overlords #121 - Drinking Problem


It is written, "He who clicks the above panel shall receive either untold riches, or DEATH! Or maybe just a bigger version of the cartoon." Are you brave enough...or foolish enough, to try?

Bah! Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

*CRACKLE*
Come in Minion Base! Come in Minion Base! Do you read? We are returning to base. Repeat, we are returning to base...


Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...

Incoming Transmission...

...crackle...crackle...
This is your Minion Master, Steve, transmitting to you from an undisclosed Lair somewhere in Southern California. I just spent about a year at the San Diego Comicon on Thursday. After some soul-searching, we decided we just weren't up to going back for additional days this year. Too hot, too far, and too crowded. The convention itself is intense, but I'm convinced that an Evil Overlord of some sort is in charge. This is like a giant roach motel for 120,000 people. You can get in (barely), but you sure as heck can't get out.

I will say one thing though: it's a good place to make some new evil friends. Here I am with another out-of-towner I've just met. We've agreed that it would be a good idea to ex-ter-mi-nate all the hu-mans, if only to shorten the lines to collect all the really cool shwag I missed out on. About the only seriously cool thing I picked up were some huge S.H.I.E.L.D. magnets from the Hasbro booth. My new friend had even less, but then again, that could be because his goodie-bag kept slipping off his toilet-plunger arm.

I'll post more pictures of Comicon on my regular blog, the Multiplex, when I get time.

We will be continuing back to Oregon Sunday (yesterday, as I'm transporting a time portal that could cause the collapse of the universe as you know it), via Reno, NV, where we'll spend a few days searching for further evil to participate in. I've never been to Reno before, so it will be an adventure.

So that's it for now. Your Minion Master signing off...

...crackle...crackle...

End Transmission...

We resume our after-post, already in progress.

Greetings, Insignificant Scum!

You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Overlords #120 - Garbage in, Garbage Out


Click the above image to activate our evil growth ray!

*CRACKLE*
Come in Minion Base! Come in Minion Base! This is your Minion Master delivering a pre-recorded message from an undisclosed location!

If all is well I have survived being a year older, and am now in California. As you can see, I am making the rounds of he local lairs and test driving their Minionmobiles. (I RN UR BASE DRVN UR MNONMBZ)

San Diego Comicon begins this week, with a preview night on Wednesday, and then daily through Sunday. I'm staying off-site and juggling other business, so I'll probably only be attending a day or two. I'm guessing Thursday Sunday, or Thursday Friday, which might be a little less crowded. I don't do crowds well. (Unless, of course, I get to crush them beneath the feet of my mighty Robot-O-Doom, but it's in the shop right now.)

Minion Base, you're breaking up...

*CRACKLE*


Bah! Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...


Greetings, Insignificant Scum!


You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Overlords #119 - Bad Call


Many have tried in and failed, fool! What makes you think YOU can click on the cartoon for a larger version?

*CRACKLE*
...come in Minion base. Come in Minion Base. This is your Minion Master speaking. Attention. Attention. It is my birthday. I repeat, it is my birthday. That is all. Transmission breaking up...
*CRACKLE* *HISS*


This is Doctor Coldblood speaking. WE now control all that you see and hear. That squeak in your chair? Yeah, that's us...

Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...


Greetings, Insignificant Scum!


You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Overlords #118 - Conflict of Interest



If you dare, click on the panel for a bigger version!

Bah! Your presence is insignificant to us, worm! Open your wallet and stare mindlessly at the hypnotic messages that follow! It...is...your...DESTINY!

Overlords atWork is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. We COMMAND you to fill our coffers by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions (or Overlords) at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(We command you to be naughty! Oh! You like it, don't you?)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will DESTROY YOUR PLANET!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions (or Overlords) at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*In the event that YOUR is also OUR planet, the Overlords reserve the right to destroy a substitute planet of equal or greater mass. Of course, we'll send you there first...


Greetings, Insignificant Scum!


You come seeking Minions, and yet, THERE ARE NO MINIONS! We, the Overlords of Evil have sent them on vacation! WITHOUT PAY! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

When the Minions finally return, in August, we will make them work overtime UNTIL THEIR EYES BLEED! And that's a LOT of overtime! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

Now, tremble before the most awesome assemblage of evil ever awesomely assembled! We give you: THE LEGION OF DREAD!

Our logo:


Fear our logo! Tremble before our mighty cartoon adventures! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

* cough, cough, cough *

Evil-laugh-fun-but-need-frosty-beverage-now...

OLD BUSINESS
Old business is left over from the previous management. The Overlords of Evil and the Legion of Dread do not endorse this old business, but they will gladly take responsibility for any damage or harm it causes. Worms.
Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

END OF OLD BUSINESS

Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha! Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ha-haha-ha-hahaha-ha-haha-hahaha!

sluurp!

Ah! That's good!

We COMMAND you to return next week for a new cartoon! Obey, or suffer the pain of a thousand Star Wars Christmas Specials!

- Sincerely,
Your Lord and Masters,
Dr. Coldblood, et al.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Minons #117 - Bad Trip

PLEASE READ ON AFTER THIS WEEK'S CARTOON AND COMMERCIAL FLIBBER-GIBBER FOR AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE NEAR-FUTURE OF MINIONS AT WORK!


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Gas Guzzlers!


Yes, it's true, the Minions are going on vacation. Not just Number 2. ALL of them. Yup, you won't see a new cartoon with a Minion in it for the next FIVE WEEKS!

But never fear. I wouldn't leave you without cartoons. Oh, no! Because while the Minions are all going on vacation, the Overlords are hard at work. In fact, Doctor Coldblood has called together all the Overlords for their annual convention of the...

Yes, the greatest Masters of Evil in all the world, Doctor Coldblood, Cap'n Rehab, Doctor Funkystein, General Zed, and Captain Hardluck have united to doom us all, if they can figure out a way to agree on anything!

So tune in all through July (and a little of August) for your weekly installment of Overlords at Work!

And then in five weeks, the Minions will be back, tanned, rested, and ready to goof off at the earliest opportunity!

Hey look at us! (Or our book covers anyway.)

I just put together a little mosaic of images of book covers and posted it on my regular blog. See it here. These are MOST of the books in which my wife Chris or I (or both of us) have appeared. It's pretty nifty to see these all at a glance. Check it out, and see what we do the rest of the week!

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, when he returns, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week,

Steve

Monday, June 23, 2008

Minions #116 - Big Job


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Short-orders!


Minions Studios has spiders, and I don't mean just the fake kind we use for props. In order to blend into its surroundings, the studios are built into a residential garage built in 1942. The walls are enclosed, but the ceilings are open to the original beams, and that means spiders. Let's just say that the 18" Spider-Man figure displayed crawling along the bottom of my storage loft is enhanced by a covering of real webs... Occasionally I have to sweep the ceiling to take down the build-up of spider webs and cobwebs. I also spot them crawling on the walls regularly.

Mostly they don't bother me though. I've never been bit, and I don't think I've ever had one crawl on me. But I do think about it occasionally, especially after that one time that I saw a spider about the size of a poodle, peering at me from under the pile of papers on my desk one night. But I've never gone so far as to spray the place. I think it would only make the archnapoodle mad.

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, June 16, 2008

Minions #115 - Mock Minion



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Short-orders!


Hey, folks! Are you asleep out there? We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

Monday, June 09, 2008

Minions #114 - SubMinion



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Handy Friends!


Still getting better here from the Martian-Death-Sickness here at Minion Central. We used most of the energy we had celebrating the birthday of Mrs. Minion Master, Chris. So give her a big hand. Without here patience, forbearing, and occasional creative and editorial input, none of this is possible. Yay, Chris!

But anyway, sick, tired, and busy, did we shluff off and miss another cartoon? No! Did we raid the photo archives and recycle some content? No! We cooked up a fresh (if not especially complicated) Minions shoot for you! Are we keen, or what?

See you next week.

-Steve

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Minions #113 - Overtime to Kill



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Long Timers No Seers!


I guess you noticed (well, I sure hope you noticed) that there was no new Minions at Work last week. I can only plead that the Lair has been struck by biological warfare, and we've all been sick here. We're doing better, but I confess that when the creative part of my brain started to function again, I prioritized working on this that had a better chance of actually making me money. You guys want to stay further up the priority heap, you need to start shopping in our Cafe Press stores, visiting our advertisers, or at least working a little harder to inflict -- uh, I mean share -- Minions at Work with others.

Ha, ha, ha! Guilt trip! Are we evil, or what? (Actually I'm the one feeling guilty. I'll try to throw in an extra cartoon in the next couple weeks to make it up to you.)





Okay, now that we're through that, let's get back to the story as-yet unnamed new Minion that I mentioned a couple weeks back. Most of our main Minions at Work characters use a specific action figure body (A Power Team G3 body with gloved hands, if you want the boring specifics). I've got a big stock of them, most of which I've bought new over the last few years, but occasionally a find one at a thrift store (where a lot of our props and set-pieces also come from).

This was one of those finds, and as sometimes happens in thrift-stores, the figure had obviously seen some kid adventures before it got to me. Something had been driven into the middle of the forehead and broken off flush with the skin. Since I often cover the faces on Minions figures, this was no dead-breaker, but I was curious, so when I got it home I got a pair of needle-nose pliers, got a grip in the intrusion, and pulled.

Now, I don't know what I expected. Maybe a small piece of metal, but what came out was a loooong, gleaming, needle-tipped metal spike. Somebody had driven a full-sized regulation dart into his head and broken it off. Not the little scale version he has now, but I full-sized pub dart!

So now I had a figure with a hole in the forehead. My first impulse was to put him in a face mask or something, but I kept putting it off. And then came the day that I found my miniature darts. It just seemed natural to jam one in there and see what it looked like.

The rest is history.

(Still trying to find a number for the new-guy. Send us your suggested number, along with your reason for picking it. You could name a Minion!)

See you next week (presuming no more Martian-death-germs).

- Steve

Monday, May 19, 2008

Minions #112 - Croc of Pit


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Zeeba Neighbas!


Okay, sometimes we're silly, and sometimes we're really silly. I couldn't resist a nod to my current favorite newspaper comic strip, "Pearls Before Swine." It's the most evil and subversive thing in the funnies today. We approve.

- See you next week.

-Steve

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Minions #111 - Decisions, Decisions


CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Indecisives!


Okay, I'm late this week, which is a shame, since this kinda has a Mother's Day theme to it.

I've been a little under the weather. I blew out my voice yelling at a rock concert a few weeks ago (man, I really am getting old), which lead to a nagging cough which I just couldn't shake, and I finally realized I was just going to have to stop talking for a day or two until my throat got better.

This has been a strange experience. I mean, the silent thing is kind of mysterious, but it makes it hard to order a cheeseburger at the drive-through. Super-villains have big, booming voices for a reason: they need cheeseburgers. Glad I could clear that up.

Anyway, you'll notice we have a new Minion this week. Actually, I've been planning to bring him in for about six months now, but I could never find the perfect cartoon to introduce him. Now he needs a number. If you have an idea for what number he should be, leave it in a comment. (And yes, 13 is taken. So are 0, 1, 2, 9, 10, and 67 plus a few others I don't remember off the top of my head. So help us name our new Minion...

Monday, May 05, 2008

Minions #110 - Tip of the Hat



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Cow-tippers!


I'm busy shooting new shots to be used in a future "letters" video (hey, still need your questions for No. 1! Get on them!) so I had to dip into the stock photos again this week for our cartoon. I don't mind doing this now and then, but I hate to make a habit of it, even when they're funny (which they often are).

I promise you'll get totally farm-fresh Minions next week, not that artificially-ripened stuff we've been importing from Chile.

Minions Moment of the Week:
Just saw the movie Iron Man, and I think it's interesting that Tony Stark discovers he's working for the Forces of Evil, and he's self-employed! See, anyone can be a Minion of Evil, even you...

See ya next week,

-Steve

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Minions #108/#109 - Double Feature





CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Binoculars!


Just because I felt like it this week, two cartoons instead of one. Are they twice as funny? Uh-- Did I mention there were two?

Actually, only you can judge how funny they are. Some I've though were hysterical created barely a ripple with you guys, and some I've wondered if I should post at all turned out to be the most popular ever. Who knows?

But occasionally I compensate for uncertainty with quantity. I'm not saying this is one of those times. But it does happen.

On other matters, Minion Number One isn't here this week because he's moping by the mailbox. Seems you folks haven't sent in as many emails with questions for him as he'd like to see. Surely there must be something you've wondered about Minion life, about your favorite overlord, or just about life in general that might benefit from that unique Minion perspective. Drop him a note care of my address right now! His favorites will be answered in future video segments.

See you next week,

-Steve

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bonus Minions #107 - Earth Day

(Okay, I felt funny not getting out a regular cartoon this week at just about the same time I realized I hadn't done anything for Earth Day. So this is what I came up with.)


(Click on cartoon for full-sized version)

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Minons #106 - Video Special "Letter Rip!"



CLICK ABOVE TO PLAY VIDEO!

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Ill-letterates!


Well, I warned you there would be more video, and it's come sooner than I expected. But I've climbed a bunch of the learning curve, and while "Minions Tonight" literally took me weeks and weeks, I was pretty much able to this one (which was admittedly a lot simpler) in a single day, and any follow-on "letters" episodes should go even quicker, since I've done a lot of the ground-work.

So how's about helping by sending your questions, letters and requests to "Minions Mail" care of yours truly. We'll make fun of -- uh -- answer the best ones in future installments.

See you next time.

Your Minion-master,
Steve

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Minions #105 - Laugh Riot



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Bar-flies!


Okay, I'm late this week. First of all, TAXES. Second, we were out of town this weekend for a most unusual wedding. You really have to give chops to a wedding that lists "Bridesminons" in the program. (I'll post some on-topic pictures next week.)

Anyway, I'd hoped to do something new and tax-related this week, but just didn't have time. So instead I'm dipping into my inventory for something more generic. Hey, at least I had an inventory to dip into.

Anyway, back next week with something new, because... Well, actually, because the inventory is empty now. Time to stock up again...

Well, enough delay. Time to post. See ya'll next week.

-Steve

Monday, April 07, 2008

New Feature

As an experiment, I've added a new feature to the site. Scroll WAY to the bottom, and you'll find a list of "labels." These are tags that I add to each post to indicate the appearance of a particular character, setting, or subject matter. Clicking on one of these labels will pull up all the posts with that label.

So you can easily find all the cartoons that feature the Penguin, or Doctor Coldblood, or Dinosaurs, or even Thunderburger, just as examples.

I don't like the way this is formatted, but the list is so long I think it would be even worse in the sidebar. Give it a try, and let me know what you think.

Minions #104 - Color Correction



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Sub-Mariners!


"Black." "White." Pretty funny words to hang a value judgment on, but that's the way language worlds.

I understand. I'm left handed, and that has some strange associations of its own. For instance, guess what the word "sinister" means?

Ah, well, we're evil here. We admit it, so we'll fess to the "sinister" thing. So I guess I don't know what it's like. It's better to be feared than disrespected.

Still, many, many years ago, when I was working on retail, there was this regular customer that I thought I had a good relationship with. We were friendly, always had a laugh when he came in, and he bought a lot of stuff from me. But one day I happened to hand-write an order in front of him. He looked at me writing and said, just like he was commenting on the weather, "I could never hire somebody like you."

And he meant it. Writing left-handed was just wrong as far as he was concerned. Nothing personal, but you're an inferior being I just can't stand to be around.

Human beings are wired to divide the world up into "Us" and "Them," and pretty much try to drive "Them" out of our patch of monkey-jungle. Or kill them, or just enslave them and put them to work.

But we've evolved at least a little since our monkey days. We get to choose who we include in "Us" and who is "Them." And I happen to be of the opinion, the bigger your "Us," the better the world will be. And if you have to put anybody at all in the "them" category, I hope you have a way better reason than "left or right, black or white."

WAY better.

A rare serious moment from your Minion Master. We now rejoin Evil, already in progress.

- Steve

Monday, March 31, 2008

Minions #103 - Listing to Starboard



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Got a friend or relative who's in the real-estate business? They really need cheering up right now. Share the link for this Minions at Work cartoon with them right now!

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Multiple Listings!


Our motto at Minions Studios is "keep it real." Okay, mostly what we keep is surreal, but I don't often resort to photo-editing on our cartoons. It isn't because I can't, but I try to keep things within the context of the world I can create for you on a bench-top most of the time.

But there are occasions, especially when it comes to presenting the massive Lairs of our evil overlords and their infernal devices, that nothing I can build here is going to do. This is one of those times.

Strangely, as much as I fight doing this, I'm usually pretty pleased with the results (like this one here) when I do. I'm pretty pleased with this week's too. I don't know how funny it is, but it's pretty!

By the way, did you look closely at the sign in the cartoon? If not, go check it out. I'll wait...

Okay, you're back. According to the description there, the volcano lair is one of the biggest buildings in the world, with about twice the square footage of that shrimpy-old-Pentagon. There is, however, a shopping mall in China with about the same square footage of retail space (most of it standing empty, according to sources on the net).

In any case, it's curious that somebody from the Guinness Book of World Records hasn't come to call. Hmmm, perhaps Coldblood Bilker is telling a little fib about the square footage? Could be. They're evil baby!

See you next week!

-Steve

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Minions #102 - Allez Evil!



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Hungry Masses!


I never know what kind of trouble I'm getting in when I start making pop-culture references here. I mean, everyone knows Batman, Superman, or James Bond, but what if I'm the only one around who ever watches the Food Network and their series Iron Chef America (or the Japanese original)? If not, will you get this week's panel? Oh, well, you buys your ticket, and you takes your chances. Us cool people get it.

Now, back to reading Anthony Bourdain's book, "The Nasty Bits." Bourdain is my favorite culinary super-villain. If you've missed his classic "Kitchen Confidential," you've missed a treat.

See ya next week,

-Steve

Monday, March 17, 2008

Minions #101 - Back-in Trouble



CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work 2008 Calendar or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where all our customers are satisfied, because those are the ones we allow to live!"

and

NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)


Greetings, Patient Ones!


Well, again, this isn't Minions At Work #100, because... Wait, that was last week!

Never mind.

Back to our usual foolishness, already in progress.

-Steve

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Minions At Work #100!

Greetings, Minions Fans! At long last it's here! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story! It's Minions at Work #100 the movie!

This one has everything. Minion No. 1. Minion Number 2. Special guest stars. Music. Firearms.

Get ready to kiss seven minutes and thirty seconds of your life goodbye.



Feel free to link this from your own web page or blog and to share it with your friends (and enemies).

This was a lot of fun, but it was way more work than I imagined. Still, I doubt it's the last Minions at Work video you'll see. Better start getting ready for 200 now!

See you next week with the regular mayhem.

Your Minion-master,
-Steve