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Monday, January 24, 2011

Minions #256 - Where there's Smoke...

Click for BIG Screen


Greetings, Core News Demographic!


Well, Doctor Coldblood continues his drunken binge this week, even though it's a little early for spring break.

Just another quick book plug.  Mrs. Minion Master, in her secret alias of "Christy Evans," has a new mystery coming out February 1st, the third in her series of crime-solving-plumber mysteries.  It's called "Drip Dead."  Check it out where ever books are sold!  Or recommend it to the nearest mystery fan immediately!  We've got bills to pay here!

Point in fact, we're being served up with some irony this week.  The lair is being invaded by heating repair guys who are going to be grubbing around our crawl-space replacing all the duct work.

Why is this ironic?  Well, my story "Gordie Culligan vs. Doctor Long Beach and the HVAC of Doom," written for the anthology "If I Were an Evil Overlord," is about a heroic heating and air-conditioning guy working in the ducts of a volcanic lair (that just happens to be located in Long Beach, California).

Got to check my paperwork.  If the rights on that story have reverted, I much just post it here as a freebie for you guys to read soon.  I'll let you know...

- Irony Master, Steve
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Sunday, January 16, 2011

Minions #255 - Snakes, Why Did We Have to Be Snakes?

Click Image for Further Embarrassment!






Greetings, Wishing You Were Somewhere Else Peoplessh!


Hey, want some free ebooks?  Then follow me on Twitter.  Starting next week I'm going to be giving away coupons good for a free download of my new ebook "DeadRingers" (available in all major ebook formats, so you can read on your ereader, phone, pad or computer) from Smashwords.com!  Just follow and look for a give-away post.  First follower to respond is the winner!  Easy!


I plan to do this several times through the week, depending on the response, so don't give up if you don't win the first time.  I also plan to do this for future ebook releases, so stay-tuned for further chances to win!


Still want more ebooks?  Follow the tireless Robot CEO of our ebook publisher, Tsunami Ridge Publishing.  He'll be giving away books by my wife, Christina F. York (who writes romance, fantasy, and mystery) as well as myself and other authors.

Not on Twitter yet?  Just follow one of the links above for free and easy sign-up!

See you guys next week.

- Steve




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Sunday, January 09, 2011

Minions #254 - The Greater of Two Evils

Add caption


Greetings, Miscommunications!!


I'll keep it brief this week.  Just allow me one little plug.  Drop on over to our favorite ebook publisher, Tsunami Ridge Publishing.  They're an innovative small publisher that happens to be, among other things, bringing out a load of fiction written by myself and Mrs. Minion Master, some of it reprints, some of it original fiction and some (like my DeadRingers mini-anthology I told you about last week) a bit of both.  You'll be seeing more of my fiction appearing there soon, including my action-figure-tribute fantasy story, "The Last Backyard Defender," which was originally published in the DAW anthology "Front Lines."  I think you folks are gonna like it.


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Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Minions #253 - Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?






Greetings, Bar-flies!


Yeah, we're a little late this time.  I could say we're slow coming back after the holidays, and that's true, but the big thing is that I've felt like some of the shoots I've done lately were overly simple and thrown together.  I wanted something new, and something with some work put into it.

So you get -- THIS -- Fifteen figures, plus several hundred props, set pieces, and lots and lots of snakes!  I've been tinkering with it off-and-on all week.  Was the joke worth it?  Probably not, but that's not the point.

Oh, I do have something to plug this week: I've got a new science fiction mini-anthology ebook out titled "DeadRingers."  The tag line is, "The restless dead live in memories, both human and electronic. But who controls those memories, and how are the lives of the living still tangled in the echoes of the dead?"  

It contains the short story "Carved in Stone," which original appeared in Analog Science Fiction magazine, a previously unpublished companion-novelette, "The Last Ride of Johnny Four-speed," and a new essay about how reality is starting to catch up with the "DeadRingers" technology used in the stories.  All for $2.99 on Amazon Kindle, or on SmashWords.com where you can find most other ebook formats.  It's coming soon to the Nook store, iPad, Kobo and other major ebook outlets as well.  Download a free sample either place and have a look-see...

See you guys next week, maybe even on time!

- Minion Master, Steve

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Have Yourself a Very Minion Christmas!

Click Cartoon for Bigger Presents!




Greetings, Unwanted Toys!


Given the fact that most people are going to be too busy to check in here anyway, I'm giving you this little Christmas card in lieu of an actual cartoon this week.  We'll be back after the holidays with all-new (well, mostly new) Minion action!  Our best wishes here for a safe and happy holiday, and great things for the coming new year!

                                   - Steve (and Chris, and gang)
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Monday, December 20, 2010

Minions #252 - You Better Watch the ____ Out!

Read our Holiday Message following the cartoon for a FREE GIFT to you!
Click to open-fire with Holiday Bigness!


Greetings, Regifted Followers and Future Returns!


Hey, happy holidays to all of your out there from us at the Lair!


We've got a couple of announcements to make:


First, I've just updated the site to a new "mobile aware" template, which those of you reading from a phone, pad, or other mobile device should get a cleaner, easier to navigate site.  Things should remain the same for our computer-users.  Please let us know how it's working for you.


And like I said, FREE GIFT!  Just pop on over to the Tsunami Ridge Publishing site to read a free holiday short-short-story, "A Holiday Explained," written by your Minion Master!  I think you'll find it every bit as warped and silly as your regular Minion entertainment, if not more so!  Find the story by clicking HERE.


And come on back here next week for the LAST MINIONS AT WORK OF THE YEAR!  (And you thought it would never end...)


                                                      - Your Merry Minion Master, Steve
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Monday, December 13, 2010

Minions #251 - Not Nice

Click Cartoon for Bigger Presents!
Greetings, Unwrapped Packages!

Sometimes you just ask yourself, "is this cartoon in bad taste?" And around here, the answer is, usually, "yes."

But sometimes, you ask yourself, is this cartoon is really bad taste?  That's what happened this week.  I mean, this idea has been floating around for a while, and given the Christmas theme, it was pretty much now or never.  But is joking about terrorism a good thing?

Well, to some extent, the entire concept of "Minions at Work" is based on terrorism.  It riffs on the tropes of media super-villians in comics, movies, cartoons, and TV, especially during the formative era when I was growing up mumble-mumble years ago.  And while we didn't have such a generic label for their activities, what were those guys (and gals) really, but terrorists?  Captain Nemo sinking American warships in the name of world peace?  Terrorist.  Goldfinger trying to nuke Ft. Knox?  Terrorist.  Doctor Doom blasting the Fantastic Four's skyscraper headquarters out of Manhattan and straight into space? (Yes, this happened, in the classic Fantastic Four, first series, #6!) Terrorism.

So what is Doctor Coldblood's long-delayed plan to inject greenhouse gases into the atmosphere and bring about global warming (besides misguided, redundant, and just too late) but terrorism?  Baron Badseed's plan to unleash flesh-eating plants on the world?  Terrorism?  Cap'n Rehab's scheme to operate a phony celebrity rehab clinic in a submarine so the paparazzi can't watch his "patients" partying like it's 1999?  That's...  Okay, that's just kind of brilliant.  But that's not my point.

There's plenty of real terrorism in the world these days.  According to news reports, a terrorism suspect was arrested recently after detonating a test bomb right here in my little town (a town so small that I should have HEARD any bomb that went off inside it, which makes me suspicious of either news reports, or the size of his bomb).  Just a few days ago there was a bombing attack in Stockholm, Sweden.  A fellow writer who I know casually passed through ground zero of the attack only minutes before the explosions went off.  Only chance saved his life.   Nobody is safe from terrorism.

But statistically, anyway, none of us is much in danger of it either.  Far more people are killed or harmed every year by car accidents, common diseases, and routine criminal violence, dangers that most of us face without blinking an eye.  While it's stupid not to take precautions, its also stupid to live our lives in fear, and the best cure for fear I know is laughter.  If we spent more time laughing at people who try to blow up their underwear, rather than trembling and taking naked pictures of one another in airports (naked pictures that apparently can't detect exploding underwear because they're, you know, naked!) our enemies might not have quite as much luck recruiting willing suicide bombers.  Because these people think they have nothing to lose, and they're wrong.  We can still take away their dignity.  We're not laughing with you, underwear guy, we're laughing at you.

So where are we with this week's cartoon?  We rarely brush so close to real terrorism, as opposed to the cartoonish kind, but we're not making a joke about bombs going off here.  We're laughing at them not going off, not even being made.  We're laughing at plots foiled.  We're laughing at a scenario so absurd I've got to laugh a little at anyone who would take offense. (Moslem extremists writing to a non-existent icon associated with a Christian holiday to ask for nuclear materials, and the order is intercepted by Minions of Evil who are doing seasonal temp work for a Santa of dubious morals?  Yeah, that could totally happen!)

So join me, in this holiday season, in laughing into the face of danger.  Pucker your lips, stick out your tongue, and give a big razzberry in the direction of people who would do the world pointless harm.  It won't help, but it might just make you feel better.

At least until you're killed in a car accident.

Seriously, wishing all my Minions readers peace, and failing that, safety in the year to come.

See you next week (I hope):


                                    - Minion Master Steve




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Monday, December 06, 2010

Minions #250 - Put a Lid on It

Click to Make Mountain out of Molehill

Greetings, Hazy Clouds!


Maybe you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, I've dropped the stock "support the site" boilerplate crap after each cartoon.  Let's face it, I'm not rich yet, so it's obviously not working.  I'm leaving our little "tip jar" donate button down there because, now and then it does work!

I know I keep saying we're going to get organized here at the lair, but this time we're really going to get organized here at the lair!  I've broken down and rented a storage unit so I can haul many of the props, vehicles, and figures I use to make my cartoons off and have space to sort them, eliminate duplicates, find stuff I lost about three years ago, and generally get a better handle on all the stuff I have.

In a perfect world, I'd have something like the "wall of labeled boxes" you see in the background on Mythbusters, but short of building myself a new building, I don't have anywhere with room of that kind of shelving.  But I do hope to approximate it as closely as I can; a box for everything, and everything in its box.

Yeah, like that's going to happen!

See you guys next week!

                                                                  - Minion Master Steve

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Minions #249 - Pumping Irony








Greetings, Saggy Biceps!


Yes, we're late this week.  Technical glitches.  Bad weather. Holidays.  The Forces of Good.  Bah!

                                                                 - Minion Master Steve
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Monday, November 22, 2010

Minions #248 - Penguin Priors

Click for Maximum Merry!

Greetings, Naughty and Naughtier!


Yup!  You asked for more evil-Santa, and you've got more evil-Santa!

Far as I know, this is also the first time I've ever used the Penguin in a strip without ANY of the other regular Minions or Overlords for backup.  It's certainly the first time I've used a "Penguin at Work" logo.  So mark that down, so you can tell your grandchildren you were there the day it happened!

Maybe you'll notice I'm NOT trying to sell you anything this week.  I mean, you can still hit the donate button if you want to, but I just thought I'd remind you that the holidays are coming, and with the economy being what it is, there's bound to be a toy-drive or food drive near you in need of help.  If you don't know what's up in your area, I'd recommend contacting your local food bank or fire department.  They'll probably be able to tell you what's up, where to donate, and how else you can help out in your town or city.

Just remember, there are plenty of kids right there in your town who won't see a holiday gift, and for whom a holiday is just another cold, hungry day.  I know it's tough all over, but if you can afford a small toy or a can of food, you'll make a difference!  Stick it to the Man by showing them that evil has a heart!  Crush their world-view with your out-of-character generosity, and turn their limited version of morality upside-down!  HAhahahaHAHAHAHAH!

                                                                                                  - Minion Master Steve




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Monday, November 15, 2010

Minions #247 - Dinosaur in a Net

Click for Bigness!




Stand by, following the usual anti-social-networking for a 140 characters-plus of bad from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the salty-pretzel-worms just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

 SUPPORT THE FORCES OF EVIL, WITHOUT WHOM YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE IN SOME BORING UTOPIA OR SOMETHING! HELP FINANCE "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY! IT'S LIKE STEALING, ONLY LEGAL! We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!

Or just click on our "Donate" button and send us cash add to our "Buy the Minions a Camera Fund!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

 Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook.  And yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.)



Greetings, Silly Short-arms!


I'm just back from Orycon in Portland, Oregon.  Been a stressful weekend on the personal front (yes, your Minion Master does have a life beyond the lair and the furtherance of evil) so I'll keep this short.  Kinda like that T-rex's silly, little, arms.  AHHH!  LOOK OUT!  HE'S THROWING A MAIL-BOMB!

See you next week...

                                             - Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, November 08, 2010

Minions #246 - Pit Bull

Click Cartoon to 'Zilla-Size it!


Stand by, following the usual late lunch for a major munching from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the tyrannoraptors just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

 SUPPORT THE FORCES OF EVIL, WITHOUT WHOM YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE IN SOME BORING UTOPIA OR SOMETHING! Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores: THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE "Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!" and NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY (For very small values of naughty.)

 Or just click on our "Donate" button and send us cash add to our "Buy the Minions a Camera Fund!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

 Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) Eventually I'm getting No. 1 his own account for Minions-related-business, but one thing at a time. Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

Greetings, Overstocks and Factory Seconds!
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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Back from our trip (barely), but Taking Monday Off

Click to Enlarge


I won't claim this as a new cartoon, but at least it's something!  Back from our Nevada trip, and behind on everything here, so after much foot dragging, I'm declaring a rare week-off here.  We'll be back next week with new munchy-crunchy Minionness!


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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Minion #245 - That's Why They Call it Coverage

Click Image to Deploy Airbag (and enlarge)




Stand by, following the usual bad policy for a damage rider from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the asphalt weevils just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

 SUPPORT THE FORCES OF EVIL, WITHOUT WHOM YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE IN SOME BORING UTOPIA OR SOMETHING! HELP FINANCE "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY! IT'S LIKE STEALING, ONLY LEGAL! We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons! Or visit our Amazon Lair Gift Shop for Minions-recommended merchandise featuring villainy from across pop-culture! Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers.

Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.)

Greetings, Owners-of-a-life-insurance-policy-in-my-name-you-didn't-know-you-had!


I'm still very busy with my "HardBodies" (www.HardBaseOne.com) mega-science-fiction project this week, and I'm about to head out to Reno, NV for a little R&R, so once again I'll be short.

There, is that short enough for you?

I should be back next week in time for your regular Minion distraction of the week.  See you then!


                                                              - Mobile Minion Master Steve


Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Minions #244 - White Out

Add caption

Stand by, following the usual double-sided copy for a low-toner message from your Minion Master!


Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the crab parasites just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair: THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE "Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!" and NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY (For very small values of naughty.) Or just click on our "Donate" button and send us cash add to our "Buy the Minions a Camera Fund!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof!

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.)


Greetings, Peel and Stick Labels!


Yes, this week's cartoon is kinda silly.  Silly always makes me nervous, because you never know if silly will be the funniest cartoon ever, or land with a thud, or just unintentionally piss people off.  But sometimes you've got to chance it.

Busy week this week, with with getting our HardBodies shared-world military science-fiction project going.  But our teams are lined up, ideas are beginning to perk for the next three novels in the series.  I think this thing is just going to be more fun than anyone can stand.  We're going to have giant fighting robots, fast-moving vehicles, aliens, dinosaurs, submarines, sea-monsters, action, suspense, mystery, romance, intrigue, thrills and laughs.  Our goal is to make this series like Christmas morning for our fellow nerds, and I think we're on course to do just that!

The first ebooks won't start showing up until next year, but you can still bookmark our website and follow along as things develop.

See you guys next week.

-Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Minions #243 - Christmas Comes Early & Angry



Stand by, following the usual investment opportunity for a retirement fund from your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the Rabid Radioactive Day-traders just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

 SUPPORT THE FORCES OF EVIL, WITHOUT WHOM YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE IN SOME BORING UTOPIA OR SOMETHING! HELP FINANCE "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY! IT'S LIKE STEALING, ONLY LEGAL! We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!

Or just click on our "Donate" button and send us cash add to our "Buy the Minions a Camera Fund!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

 Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.)


Greetings, Short-sells!


Hey, I just got a new Droid X phone, which in no way has anything to do with why this week's cartoon is going out a few hours late.  Okay, it does, but it's only one of a long list of distractions around here, which I won't bore you with.


And yes, if you're wondering, one of them (well down the list, I'll admit) is getting ComicPress figured out and configured so we can more the site to something more sophisticated and easy to navigate.  It's going slow, but it's going.  I'd rather get it done right than get it done soon, so be patient.


Does today's cartoon seem a bit out of season to you?  Well, I wondered about that, but it's clearly about Santa Claus in a bar BEFORE Christmas, so it could easily be several months before.  I've always wondered what Santa does in the off season, given that he's basically a super-villain anyway.  I mean, he has a hidden arctic lair, hoards of obedient minions who toil endlessly for him, super-powers, maintains surveillance of millions of people (well, kids) and as I've said before, he annually practices home-invasion on an epic and international scale.


Franky, I'm in awe of the guy.  What do you say?  Should we see more of Santa's evil?


See you guys next week!


                                                            - Pre-Holiday Minion Master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Monday, October 04, 2010

Minions #242 - The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Click to give yourself the gift of largeness! (that didn't sound right, did it?)




Stand by, following the usual suspicious package for a hasty-return by your Minion Master!

  Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the Giftoraptors just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

 SUPPORT THE FORCES OF EVIL, WITHOUT WHOM YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE IN SOME BORING UTOPIA OR SOMETHING! HELP FINANCE "MINIONS AT WORK" BY BUYING STUFF YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ANYWAY! IT'S LIKE STEALING, ONLY LEGAL! We're now Amazon.com affiliates, which means that if you click on the Amazon link in our sidebar and make purchases from Amazon, a tiny little sliver of what you spend goes to support these fine (maybe even near-mint!) cartoons!  Or just click on our Donate button and send us cash!" 100% of your contribution goes to allow starving orphans to buy blankets for kittens. Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.

 Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.)


Greetings, Gag Gifts!


Very busy again this week, so I'll be short.

There, was that short enough?

See you guys next week!

                              - Minion Master Steve
Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!