Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the crab parasites just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."
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Or visit our Amazon Lair Gift Shop for Minions-recommended merchandise featuring villainy from across pop-culture!
Minions at work is inadequately supported during this financial crisis by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Feed the economy and help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.
While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great souvenir of your visit to the Lair:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Satisfaction guaranteed or we'll make make you buy something else!"
and
NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(For very small values of naughty.)
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Nah, not really, it all goes to ME, in order to further the cause of EVIL, and the photography thereof.
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Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!
Greetings, Mongrels and Litter Runts!
We're finally getting back on track around here after a month of schedule disruptions, distractions, and sickness. I'm back to building some new sets and trying out some new props and characters, back down in the bowels of the lair where we belong! (All that fresh air we've been getting lately has just given me a kennel cough!) Hopefully we'll be back here, on time, and with fresh material for a while!
By the way, our Latino minion has shown up a number of times, but I'm now giving him an official designation. Henceforth he shall be known as "Numero Cinco," (Number Five) in honor of the Mexican holiday Cinco de Mayo. (Which in the U.S. is a celebration of Mexican pride, and in parts of Mexico, a celebration of the day the Mexicans kicked the French in the ass, which is pretty fun in itself. And don't tell me they didn't have it coming!)
That's not to say that Cinco is necessarily Mexican. It's typical gringo stupidity to assume that all Hispanics are Mexicans. Cinco might be Cuban, or Columbian, or Salvadorian, or who-knows-what. He might even be a red-white-and-blue Texas-born Tejano. I'd like to keep that kind of vague, so he can stand in for all of them.
I know people have strong feelings about this, but most of the Latinos I know, citizens and visitors alike, are good, hard-working, family-folk. Many of them take important-yet-dirty-jobs that the rest of us wouldn't touch, keep our nation running, and as thanks, often get nothing but grief and abuse.
In other words, they can proudly count themselves among the ranks of the Minions!
Yeah, just like the rest of us. Remember, we're all equals down here under the thumbs of our Overlord oppressors, so don't take it out on them. Ain't no border wall high enough to keep The Man from shipping jobs out of the country. Just saying.
See you guys next week
- Steve
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