Monday, October 27, 2008
Minions #133 - Start Bailing
Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for some calming reassurances in this time of crisis from your Minion Master!
CLICK ON IMAGES FOR LARGER VERSIONS
Your visit is important to us. Please give all your bank account and personal information to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a end-of-summer message from your Minion Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.
Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.
While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
THE MINION'S LAIR OF MERCHANDISE
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"
NUMBER TWO'S HOUSE OF NAUGHTY
(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)
Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a vice-presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)
*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two in a designer dress and librarian-glasses and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)
Greetings, Victims of Circumstance!
AHHHH! AHHHHH! PANIC! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! CASH OUT WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR 401K AND INVEST IT IN TULIP BULBS AND CANNED GOODS! HURRY! FOR GOD'S SAKE HURRY!
Was I supposed to say something calming?
I don't often hit on current events, but since this gave me an excuse to reuse one of my all-time-favorite Minions at Work images, I couldn't resist. (I've got another scene set up at Minions Studios that I had intended to post, but maybe you'll get it later in the week as that make-up cartoon I've been promising.)
Anyway, we're all just Minions in this great nation of ours, and rule number one of being a Minion is, you really don't have any control anyway, so there's no sense in panicking. Just adopt a zen-like state of calm, go to your inner Happy Place, and try to hold onto the handrail so the blast doesn't blow you off the catwalk and into the yawning abyss.
See? Isn't that better?
- your helpful Minion Master, Steve.
And don't forget to run out and spend your last few dollars on that
new anthology with a great new story by Mrs. Minion Master! It's called "Witch High," and features stories by 14 top authors about the students of Salem Township Public High-school #4." Just in time for Halloween! Buy a bunch of copies and corrupt all the little witches and warlocks that show up at your door!
BUY "WITCH HIGH" ON AMAZON NOW!