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Monday, August 18, 2008

Minions #124 - Out of Their Jurisdiction

Stand by, following the usually commercial jibber-jabber for a supposedly important and interesting message from your Minion Master.


Your visit is important to us. Please hand your wallet to the nearest Minion and stare mindlessly at the screen for a back-from-Vacation message from your Minon Master, following the usual commercial interruptions.

Minions at work is inadequately supported by your purchases from our web stores and our advertisers. Help us bleed green just a little more slowly by purchasing tee-shirts, buttons, calendars, hats, undies (we kid not!), and other fine Minions at Work items at one of the following stores.

While waiting for your impending doom, pick up a Minions at Work tee-shirt or other great gift:
"Where the beatings will continue until all customers are satisfied!"


(Oh, come on. You know you want to be naughty!)

Join the Minions reminder email list or we will send a presidential candidate to kiss all your babies!* It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!)

*Actually, we're just going to send Minion Number Two and he's just going to bruise the little tyke's face with his gas-mask. This, however, is still better than being kissed by the candidate.)

Greetings, Poor Receptions!

You may be asking yourself, if you pay close attention to such things, "what the heck is General Zed doing running Doctor Coldblood's volcano lair?"

Well, the answer is simple. Is isn't Doctor Coldblood's volcano lair. It's General Zed's volcano lair. General Zed completely came up with it first. Ask anybody and they'll tell you. As long as it's General Zed, anyway.

Like it really matters, I suppose. Lairs are built from mail-order kits, like big Lego sets. Send off a few billion dollars by PayPal, wait a few weeks for delivery, and then snap together the modular walls, tunnels, and death traps into a configuration of your liking. Even if it just happens to look exactly like the Super Villain down the block...

A Word -- actually, lots of them -- from Mrs. Minion Master:

New in stores, a great new fantasy anthology with a new story by Mrs. Minion Master, Christina F. York. It's called "Enchantment Place," edited by Denise Little. It's 17 original stories about a magical shopping destination in Chicago where the really unusual people shop for items you can scarcely imagine. And no, we don't mean Hot Topic!

Find it now at your local bookseller, or order from Amazon.

A reminder. We need input!

First of all, we need a number for our new Minion, seen manning the dart-board in this recent cartoon.

Also, No. 1 needs letters with your "questions for Minions" to be answered in a future video. Surely there's something you want to know about being a Minion, life in the Lair, the forces of evil, or No. 1's early Oscar picks.

Obey your Minion-master, fire up your email and get to it!

- See you next week, Steve

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sadly, it seems city hall has it's finger's in every pie these days.