Minions at Work

Minions #305 - Don't Diss the Messenger

2012-01-30T17:53:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Civility

Greetings, Lunch breaks and Unpaid Holidays!

Yeah, I'm a little late this week. I was busy finishing up "A Breath Away from Dying," my second "Panorama Beach" mystery. It's off being copy edited, and hopefully will be available in ebook in a few weeks, depending on how the production pipeline goes. So forgive the heck out of me for doing something that will actually make me some money!

Anyway, I'm enjoying the heck out of doing this series. Sheriff "Big" Bass is the best evil overlord I've come up with yet, and his reluctant minion, Deputy Tommy "Mustang" Sawtell, is even more fun. These books are set in 1967 in Panorama Beach, a fictional Florida panhandle resort packed with sugar-white beaches, amusement parks, outrageous miniature golf courses, reptile shows, aquatic parks, and of course, corruption of all kinds, not to mention a murder here or there. Come on down to beautiful Panorama Beach, where vacation is murder!

Minions #304 - Mixmastered Metaphors

2012-01-23T04:40:00.000-08:00

Click cartoon to bust some bigger rhymes

Greetings, Dance Tracks and Beat Boxes!

Now sure, this week's cartoon seems pretty irreverent, but I'm making a point here. User interfaces are both an interest of mine, and a constant source of annoyance. One of my mutant powers seems to be and ability to spot those annoying problems in a interface, program or product design that are going to trip up users and make them crazy. Most such points of human/product interaction seem to be designed either by engineers who are concerned mainly with function and the coolness of the code, or designers who are interested mainly in aesthetics, and not usability.

To give you a couple of examples that makes me insane on a daily basis:

Charter Cable has seen fit to give me a Motorola DVR that seems to have been designed in the 1980s. The menu looks like the output from a Commodore 64, and the remote it terribly designed. Most especially, right above the "fast forward" button there is another button marked "live." So, when watching a show and fast-forwarding through a commercial, it's easy to hit "live," which takes you out of the program you're watching and into whatever is live on the tuner. It then takes several button pushes and menus to get back into your program, and about half the time you'll dump yourself back to the beginning of the program by accident, and have to fast-forward (careful you don't push the wrong button again!) to find the point the the program where you left off. This happens to me once or twice a night (and probably millions of times to other Charter customers) resulting in much cursing and yelling at the box, which does not have a "give a s&!t" button.

Less annoying but equally stupid are the comic pages of the Washington Post web-site. I read a couple of comics in enjoy there every day, Doonesbury, Pearls Before Swine, and a few others. (I subscribe to two newspapers on my Kindle, but neither of them includes comics.) We will ignore the fact that it's nearly impossible to scroll around the Washington Post comic pages with a touch screen (like on my phone, where I usually view them) without accidentally hitting an ad or a navigation link to someplace you don't want to go, or that the layout of the page (which takes forever to load and contains exactly ONE daily three-panel comic strip) pretty much requires scrolling to see the comic on a phone, no matter which way you orient the screen.

What's really stupid is if you want to see any strip but the current one, you've got to:
A: Select a date from a pull-down menu.
B: Wait for the pull down menu to go away.
C: Click a "go" button next to the pull-down. (Don't accidentally click the pull down again with your fat finger!)
D: Wait for the entire page to slowly reload you can again see one three panel comic strip.

Want to see the day before yesterday, or today's strip again? You've got to go through the whole thing again!

Now, admittedly, my navigation here is not much better, but they supposedly have highly-paid professional web designers, and I have me and Blogger to do this site. Anyway, look at most of the better designed web-comics, and they have "forward" and "backward" navigation buttons to view previous strips, and often clickable calendars as well. The Washington Post, on the other hand, apparently just likes to watch you jump through hoops and get annoyed for now reason.

Now, what has that got to do with today's panel? Well, one place where interface designers go wrong is to take a metaphor too far. Usually Apple is the one company that gets this stuff right, but (maybe because the late Steve Jobs notoriously didn't seem to "get" books at all) the iBooks app on the iPad included an animated, touch activate page turn. You could manually flip the page, and see the animated page moving on the screen in sync with your finger-tip.

Now, I'm sure this was a great thing for the software programmers and designers who came up with it and implemented it. From a "gee-wiz, look at my new toy" standpoint it was pretty neat. But from a usability standpoint, it was idiotic. It was taking the metaphor of the book too far, just because they could. It adds nothing to the usability or convenience of reading on the iPad, and in fact, the only reason is isn't totally in the way is that people are used to ignoring the intrusion of a page flip on a real book.

But when people first use a black-and-white epaper screen reader, they almost universally complain about the far quicker and less-intrusive "screen flash" that happens when you change pages. The reason, of course, is that while it's much quicker and less intrusive, you're less used to it, so of course you notice it more. Most people quickly get used to the "flash," and it's effectively invisible after a while. But the point is, anything that kicks you out of the reading experience is bad. You need to work to minimize those things. Apple's page-turn animation goes the other way.

Of course, you can turn the page flip off, but it's interesting that (at least up until recently), most people who read books on iPads used apps like Amazon's or Barne's and Noble's, and I believe those just change pages without any graphical showboating.

On the other hand, I saw this great video the other day showing a new way of using "page flips" to quickly navigate through a book, magazine or document, something that's very cumbersome to do on most menu and "forward/back button" operated ereaders.

This is a smart use of the page/book metaphor, not for showboating or unneeded cosmetics, but to actually use the familiar design of a printed book to make it easier and less intrusive to navigate through its electronic cousin. That's doing right what Apple did wrong.

So, getting back to today's cartoon, I do not need my iPad to animate page turns, or my mixdeck submarine console to make scratching sounds or play music, any more than a need my automobile to smell like a horse.

End of rant.

Speaking of ebooks, today's cartoon is brought to you by science fiction collection, "Walking the Virtch." Check it out on Amazon.com!

Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and other major ebook dealers!

See you guys back here next week!

- Minion Mixmaster Steve

Minions #303 - Workforce Reduction

2012-01-16T00:06:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger News!

Greetings, Overstaffs and expendables!

Yes, we know the copyright on this still says 2011! Can you say, "inventory?" I knew that you could!

This week's cartoon is brought to you by a sneak-peek at a cover mock-up for my new Panorama Beach Mystery, "A Breath Away from Dying!" This is the second in my series, featuring green deputy "Mustang" Sawtell and the corrupt Florida panhandle paradise of Panorama Beach.

Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell knows there's something wrong with the scene when he responds to a prowler call at the Aquarama aquarium and underwater-show, and finds a dead mermaid laying on the shore of the Mermaid Grotto. But he's dismissed from the case by a treacherous superior officer, who bungles the investigation and rules her death an accident. So when Sheriff "Big" Bass asks him to take a secretive, off-duty, second look at the case, he's eager to please despite the danger. But there are deep secrets, cut-throat business, old-flames, and hidden agendas waiting for him, and before Mustang knows which way the tide is running, he'll be in hot water -- face-to-face with a killer!

Welcome to Panorama Beach, Florida, 1967, where the sand is white as sugar, the attractions are larger-than-life, and the money is all dirty and rolling in like a storm tide! Deputy "Mustang" Sawtell is the new badge in town, and he just wants to do the right thing. But he's fallen under the wing of his dangerous and morally compromised boss, Sherriff "Big" Bass, who calls himself "the best devil money can buy." Big Bass will tell you that he may be a little bad, but anybody who replaces him will be even worse. Mustang would really like to believe that -- because otherwise, this good-old-boy may have just booked himself on a rocket-ride to hell!

"A Breath Away from Dying" is in production, and should start appearing at your favorite ebook outlet very soon now. Meanwhile, you can catch up on Mustang's first adventure in "The Best Devil Money Can Buy," available on Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iBookstore, Sony and all other major ebook sellers!

See you guys back here next week!

- Mystery-master Steve

Minions #302 - Hydro-phony

2012-01-08T20:14:00.000-08:00

Click to Blow Bigness Tanks!

Greetings, Sinkers and Dive Bombers!

Yes, we're finally back to shooting full-up, all-new material here this week. Hopefully I can come up with a couple more gags to shoot on the Submarine Naughtyless set this week, then tear it down and make room for something else. I love this set, but IT'S IN MY FRICKING WAY!

This is one of those weeks when I come up with a gag that takes advantage of cool props that I don't ordinarily get much use out of. I was inspired by my latest acquisition, the miniature (and fully-functional!) Fender Guitar amp in the foreground. Of course, it says something about me that I had a 1/6th scale Fender guitar (not to mention a drum set) waiting around to go with it. That's just how we roll here at Minions Studios, boys and girls!

This week's cartoon brought to me by my cat, Sydney, who has written a book for every writer and aspiring writer out there!

Think you have to have a literary agent before you can sell a book to New York? Think anyone who calls themselves an agent is worth trusting your work to? Think an agent will always act in your best interest? Think there aren't a thousand different ways that an agent can't skim your money, steal your work, ruin your career, rob you blind, and you'll never know?

Get a hilarious and relatively-cheap education by bad example, as "world's worst" literary agent, Sydney T. Cat, explains her evil plans and schemes (all tested and approved by real-life, human agents!) to rip her clients to shreds and play with them for her cruel amusement.

Remember, anybody can print up business cards and call themselves a literary agent, even a cat! And if it isn't prohibited, it is mandatory!

(Also available on Nook, Smashwords.com, Kobo, iBookstore, and other major ebook outlets!)
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See you kids back here next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #301 - Peace on Earth, Bad Will to Trains

2012-01-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Larger Opportunity Fire!

Greetings, Secondary Targets!

As warned, last week's post was delayed, in that it didn't actually ever happen. Sorry about that! Holidays, travel, family and other stuff just took the wind out of my sails. Well, we're back, and hopefully back on our regular schedule.

I won't hold you up any more, except to briefly plug my wife's (AKA, Mrs. Minion Master) new ebook fantasy collection, "Girls Gone Magic!" It's now on Kindle, Nook, Smashwords.com, and coming soon to other major ebook outlets!

See you guys next week!

- Mercenary Minion Master, Steve

Minions #300 - Coming Unwrapped

2011-12-17T02:59:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for More Radioactivity!

Greetings, Fatal Doses!

It just so happens that this week is our 300th installment (more or less, as there have been some numbering errors and unnumbered bonus cartoons along the way) of Minions at Work! By all rights, I should be doing something really special, but as always happens, I'm just too busy at the moment. In fact, I'm lucky to be getting up a new cartoon at all. I'm working on several writing and publishing projects at once, and we're leaving for Las Vegas for a work-cation in just a couple days. So let this be your warning. We won't be back at the lair until Christmas eve, so it's a little unpredictable when next week's cartoon will be up. I'll try to have something ready for you though!

Anyway, sorry #300 isn't more spectacular. To make up for it. here's a rerun of the video we made in honor of Minions #200. Hey, they rerun holiday specials all the time!

See you guys when we get back! Happy holidays as you choose to celebrate them (or not)!

-Steve

Minions #299 - Ho Ho Horrific (and a sad goodbye to some great Minions!)

2011-12-12T04:09:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for More Xmas Cheer

Greetings, Holiday Spoilers!

I'm sad to report this week the sudden and unexpected closure of the Hilltop Inn, our local writer's hang-out for more than a decade. All that time, every Sunday afternoon, somewhere between four and forty (and we never knew exactly how many in advance) would show up, eat, drink coffee and iced tea by the bathtub-full, harass the staff, get harassed back by the staff in spades, talk writing, gossip, and generally have a great time. Well, the economy and life-difficulties for the owners have brought it all to a sudden end. There were about twenty of us there today, and we were literally the last customers out as they closed it down, which was somehow appropriate.

I looked back though the archives, and sure enough, back in 2008 I dedicated a cartoon to the ever-patient staff (we stayed so long every Sunday, we pretty much always sat through breaks and shift changes for our wait-person). I'm rerunning it today in their honor. We will miss you guys. You were the best Minions ever, and we didn't appreciate you nearly enough until you were gone. Best of luck to you in landing quickly in a new lair! Sigh.

Click to enlarge

- Sad Minion Master Steve

Minions #298 - Head Case (and a mystery FREE ebook!)

2011-12-05T03:27:00.001-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Delusions!

Greetings, Reruns!

No, you haven't seen this cartoon before. Okay, you have seen this pictures before, just two weeks ago. Actually, I did this version first, but then I came up with a second punch-line, asked Mrs. Minion Master which one she liked best, and she picked the other one. So what you've got here is your basic sloppy seconds. Or, maybe YOU would have picked THIS as the funnier one, I don't know. All I really know is, traffic really drops off here around the holidays, so like the TV networks, I don't feel bad about a LITTLE recycling. However, to make it up to you, I've got an early Christmas present for you. Keep reading!

Get My New "Panorama Beach" Mystery Ebook, "The Best Devil Money Can Buy" for (play irony music!) FREE from Smashwords.com!

What's "Panorama Beach?" The fictional Florida Panhandle tourist town that's the setting of my new mystery series, of which "The Best Devil Money Can Buy" is the first installment. Here's the blurb:

In 1967 Panorama Beach, is awash with dirty money: Developer money, drug money, vice money, and green-deputy Tommy “Mustang” Sawtell might just be the last untouched lawman in north Florida. But Mustang is about to be tested as he investigates his first suspicious death, a “floater” found in a pond under the Sky Bucket ride, from which the deputy believes he fell, jumped – or was thrown. But the deputy doesn’t know why Sheriff “Big” Bass has personally assigned him to the case, there are signs of a cover-up, and Mustang is about to get a good look at his department’s dark underbelly. Before it’s over, he’s going to learn that justice, the law, and doing what’s right are all different things, and he may not like – or survive -- the dangerous little place where they overlap.

Now, if you'd like to do me a large and just buy a copy on your ebook reader, it's now available directly for purchase for $2.99 at Smashwords.com, Amazon's Kindle Store, and B&N's Nook Store, and coming soon to other major ebook sellers. But if you act fast, you can also get your copy for free. Just use the Smashwords link above, order the book, and at checkout enter this coupon code: KL27M That's it! Your book download (in formats to read on Nook, Kindle, Kobo, and pretty much all ereaders, computers, and portable app-devices) is free! The catch? This coupon expires December 13th, 2011, so go download yours TODAY!

My one request in exchange for the freebie, however: If you read it, and enjoy it, your reviews, star-ratings, "likes," etc. on Smashwords for sure, and on B&N.com and Amazon if you get the chance, are much appreciated!

See you guys back here next week, and watch this space for future ebook special offers.

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #297 - Big Deal

2011-11-27T20:14:00.001-08:00

Click for Bigger Bargain!

Greetings, Limited Offers!

Yeah, it's that time of year again. No, we're not ready either.

Stuff to do. See you next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minion #296 - Face the Facts

2011-11-21T00:11:00.001-08:00

Click cartoon for clearer head!

Greetings, Face Suckers!

Just wanted to let you know about my holiday fantasy story, "A Holiday Explained" that just became free on Amazon's Kindle, and has since hit as high as #7 on their fantasy best-seller list! Yes, this is the same darned fantasy story that's been freely available on the web and on other ebook stores for free all year, but this is the first time we've been able to offer it for free on Kindle, so there! I just means that EVERYONE can get it free now! Anyway, with the holidays coming, this is a good time for you to read it if you haven't yet.

Haven't got a Kindle yet? Hey, you know you want one, maybe the new Kindle fire color tablet! Do us a favor and click through one of our Amazon links here when you do. We get a little cut on the transaction, and it will help to support your weekly "Minions at Work" fix. Or just click that donate button down there and send us cash. We LIKE cash!

- Steve

Minions #297 - Damaged Cargo

2011-11-13T21:11:00.001-08:00

Click cartoon to enlarge cover-up!

Greetings, Overstocks and Factory Seconds!

To date, it's been pretty rare when we've done a cartoon that was at all topical or in any way political, but
I just built this nifty new Bridge for Cap'n Rehab's submarine, the "Naughtyless," and I desperately needed a joke to go with it. And so many people, in politics, Hollywood, and elsewhere, have all at once stepped in it in one way or another, and are in need of a little image make-over. Well, that's Cap'n Rehab's thing! Cruising the crushing depths of ocean trenches, where only the most determined paparazzi will follow, the Cap'n is always ready with a well-aimed Valium torpedo, a crew of hard-working reputation-swabbers, and a treasure-chest full of questionable therapies to turn around the public functions of any person who is even marginally famous. So he, there are times he's just going to steer for a topical port-of-call. That's just how he rolls. Deal with it.

- See you guys next week,
Mental Minion Master, Steve
Also on Smashwords, Nook, and other ebook retailers!

Minions #296 - He's a Mandarin-eater!

2011-11-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

Click for more soy sauce!

Greetings, Broken Fortune Cookies!

Some weeks it's easier than others to come up with a joke for a new cartoon. Sometimes we spend hours researching the web, looking for just the right word to close out the punch line of an especially sophisticated fart joke. And other weeks, like this one, we just dive into our almost frighteningly-diverse prop department and go to our silly place. Sometimes the silly place is better. You be the judge.

See you guys next Monday!

- Minion Master of Evil Chop-sticks, Steve

Minions #295 - Cold Blooded Killers (plus a free ebook!)

2011-10-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well, kids, I can't believe this, but I just screwed up and reused a cartoon I'd already posted earlier in the month. Sigh. I'm on this. Here's a brand-new and absolutely never-before-run cartoon.

Click Cartoon TO FRAG EVERYTHING THAT MOVES!

And in case you came in following an earlier promo post and DIDN'T see this cartoon before, here' it is again. (Free ebook info follows!)

Click Cartoon for Fluffier Cushions!

Greetings, Armchair Minions!

Happy Halloween, or as the Minions down at the lair like to call it, "recruitment drive." Oh, sure, most of the ones that show up at the door are kind of young, but they're used to funny costumes, are willing to work for stale candy-corn, and are at just the right age to cart off to "Minion Academy."

Oh, yes, there's a training school for Minions! It's just like Hogwarts! Except of course that it's a cold, drafty, dangerous castle full of death-traps where most of the faculty, alumni and your fellow students are trying to kill you. Oh, wait! It's just like Hogwarts!

And hey, it's a great time to get your holiday season off to a creepy start with a free flash-fiction ebook written by your Minion Master! You can download it for free for your Kindle compatible reader, device, or app!

Also available on Nook, Smashwords, and in most other major ebook stores!

Enjoy, and we'll see you back here next week!

- Chair-master Steve

Minions #294 - Bar for the Course

2011-10-24T04:26:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon discretely for secret bigness!

Greetings, Broken Hipsters!

Wish I could say things were getting back to normal here at the lair, but I'm quickly forgetting what normal (or what used to pass for normal around here) is like. In recent months, friends, acquaintances, and family members have shown a distressing tendency to drop dead and end up in hospitals or emergency rooms in bizarre and unusual fashions. So I'm going to take the unusual step of sending some shout-outs to various friends-of-Miniondom.

In no particular order, wishes of cheer to artist friend Jonathan Kort, who just lost his grandfather and also tried (unsuccessfully) and remove his thumb with a sharp chisel. Hang in there Jonathan!

Then some free-better-and-stay-that-way wishes to writer buddy Nathan Meyer (go check out his books and buy a few, why don't you?) who, even though his dance card was already pretty full recovering from a major illness, decided he could engage in a little bacterial research by trying out a nasty and rare new strain of pneumonia. Points for initiative, Nate, but really, I think everyone would be happier if you left the research for the CDC. Glad you're finally home, and feel better soon!

And a special very-cautious-Minion hug out to long-time Minions-supporter Rose Prescott, who suffered a bad fall while visiting New York, managing to prang both arms, break her nose, and do something nasty to a toe just to have an even number of injuries. And a bonus shout-out to husband Sean, who has been there for all her hospital adventures, and now has to get her home to Oregon in her battered condition. We just feel terrible, guys. Safe trip home!

Everybody out there, please take care, give your friends and loved ones a hug, and keep yourselves safe. Remember, we're professionals here. Let trained, professional Minions do the prat-falls off cat-walks into molten lava, play mumblety-peg with death-lasers, and battle disease germs the size of Chevy Tahoes. It's what we're trained to do, and it's not for amateurs!

We damned well better see you ALL back here next week!

- Minion Safety Master Steve

Minions #293 - Disincentive

2011-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon for Larger Image! (Whoops! You missed!)

Greetings, Human Targets!

Well, even though this cartoon is based on a library shot, it's at least totally new today and up on time. This week has still been a drag. I keep waiting for "normal" to kick in, but I've kind of forgotten what normal is! I did get some cool new set pieces this week (which required some work to make useful for shooting) so you will be seeing some new "looks" in future lair sets that will break things up some.

Maybe some of you don't know it, but except for a few outdoor shots, pretty much all of our Minions at Work cartoons are shot on a 2 x 4 foot workbench, with a plastic-pipe "lighting grid" over it used to hang lights, backdrops, and overhead props and set pieces. That means I have no room to leave sets assembled for any period of time. Each new photo session requires me to tear down the set and start over (or at least modify what's already sitting there). I've got hundreds of large set pieces (wall flats, columns, cardboard "blocks" that are used to make walls, corridors, doors or platforms, etc.), hundreds of pieces of furnishings and furniture, and literally thousands of small props, not to mention the dozens of action figures that make up my regular "cast," and the hundreds from my larger 1/6th collection that I draw upon for special our one-shot characters.

Set pieces tend to fall into "families," though there's some overlap. My first, and maybe biggest, family is the "retro-futuristic" family. Silver, black, and chrome are the dominant colors, and you'll see elements of "Googie" diner architecture from time to time. It's modeled on the lairs from early James Bond films. I've got lots of consoles, view-screens, laboratory benches, and "large, glowing devices of uncertain purpose" to dress up these sets.

Then there's the "nature" family. I use granite, marble and wood-grain contact paper for much of this, covering boxes (or set pieces custom made from cardboard), large cardboard tubes, etc, to create a set of giant building blocks that I can make most any kind of dungeon, palace, or tomb, or industrial building.

There's the "warehouse" family, consisting of crates (I must have thirty or so miniature wooden crates alone), boxes, and barrels used to create warehouse and storage room settings.

There's the "exotics" family, which has lots of brass, gold, wood, bamboo and silk. I can use it to create throne rooms, tiki bars, Asian restaurants, and ornate Overlord living quarters.

There's actually an entire "food service" family used to make the infamous Minions bar, restaurants, lunch rooms, fast-food joints, parties, etc. Not to mention just keeping the Minions set for random snacks, drinks, and lunch breaks.

I've also got a small but-growing "steampunk" family, mostly used for scenes on Cap'n Rehab's submarine, the Naughtyless.

Newest of all is the "Gothic" family, a lot of which has been assembled from various modified Halloween decorations (and so this is obviously the time of year for upgrades). A key acquisition I made a few weeks ago was a set of HUGE plastic columns intended to support wedding cakes. I quickly repainted them in a dark, faux-stone finish (I think they look pretty awesome), and you've seen them a couple of times already in my "throne room" sets. With this family, I'll be able to do more "old-school" castles than I could with just my "nature" family, as well as mad-scientist labs, evil temples, and take things in a darker and more (funny) horrific direction that I've been able to do so far.

That's probably more than you ever cared to know about the behind-the-scenes here at Minions at Work, but I just thought that, although it probably often looks like I just threw a given cartoon together, a lot of work, though, and resources goes into every one of these silly things.

Anyway, see you guys here next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #292 - More than a Paradox

2011-10-11T03:56:00.000-07:00

For future bigness click cartoon now (or even sooner)!

Greetings, Doppelgangers!

Sorry this week's cartoon is a day late (and we're ALWAYS a dollar short here, thus the "donate" button below). If Minion No. 1 hadn't run down the battery on the time machine, we could just go back and post this on Monday, but no such luck.

Speaking of Minion No. 1, follow him on Twitter for weekly reminders of our new cartoon, and occasional fun posts and links relating to super-villainy in the media!

See you guys next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions at Work delayed this week

2011-10-10T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, more likely, later this week. Due to our attending an out-of-town memorial service for a family member this weekend, we're going to be delayed this time around. Hopefully we'll feel like being funny in a few days. Stay tuned.

- Sorry!
Steve

Minions #291 - Butting out

2011-10-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Click on Cartoon for Bigger Butt!

Greetings, Cheeky Monkeys!

I really had intended to put these throne room cartoons into inventory so that I could spread them out. But several things happened. First, I keep finding cool me props to att to the room, both statues (thank you Halloween supplies!) and those columns (thank you somebody's giant wedding cake, Goodwill, and spray paint!). So I kept fiddling around with the set instead of tearing it down and shooting something else.

Now I confess that while I think these cartoons may look pretty good, they may not be the funniest thing I've ever done. I've got to admit that it feels like the humor-bones are a bit creaky after my enforced layoff. But as with all things, it gets better with practice. Who knows, maybe by next week, I'll have build a different set (still want to incorporate those nifty columns though) and maybe it will inspire me to something more clever.

- Out of Practice Minion Master Steve

Minions #290 - Throne a Curve

2011-09-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

Click on cartoon for bigger misunderstandings!

Greetings, Seat Cushions!

Hey, Minions, want a FREE mini-ebook written by yours truly? Then drop over to the Kindle store (or your favorite other ebook store, it's on most of them, including Nook, Kobo, SmashWords, Apple) and download my creepy little holiday tale "One Foot in the Grave." Go on! I dare you!

Minions #289 - Redecorated

2011-09-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Tasteful Wall Hangings!

Well, for better or worse, we're back to producing all-new Minions material this week! Now, be patient with us while we get up to speed. This is one of those, "is this dreadfully funny or just dreadful" weeks.

Sometimes the process here is, I've got an idea (and some props and materials) for a set, and no cartoon ideas to go with it. Sometimes I just build the set anyway and wing it. This was one of those times, and given that I just completed the set last night (and wished I'd had time to dig up a few more things for it) I really just had to go with my punchline and hope that it made somebody chuckle.

Of course, now that I've posted this, I've come up with (and shot) what I think it a better cartoon using the same set, and I've got an idea for at least one more to shoot before I tear the throne-room down and do something else. It will likely be a struggle for a while, as I set-up and tear-down one set after another, but hopefully we'll get back to the point of having enough recent inventory that I can take a week or two off here and there.

Oh, by the way, I'm a best-seller on Amazon Kindle! Last week, Amazon's 'bots noticed that my holiday short-short gothic-horror story, "One Foot in the Grave," was free on other bookstores, and marked it down to free as well. What this means is, suddenly you start moving hundreds of copies a day. Actually, I've "sold" nearly 2000 (maybe more by the time you read this). I've been as high as #7 on the Kindle fantasy best-seller list, and well into the top #100 in genre fiction. All of which is -- not making me a penny. It's a loss-leader, and you hope folks will like the story and go buy more of your stuff down the road.

Oh well. Maybe I'll be rich next week! Meanwhile, you can support the under-funded activities at "Minions at Work" by giving us a little tip through the donate button at the bottom of this post. Thanks!

Minions #288 - Present, But Not Back

2011-09-12T02:11:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon for bigger back!

Greetings, Hangers On!

Okay, this may not be the greatest cartoon I've ever posted here, but it's NEW, baby! New as in a new shoot, done Sunday night, just hours before I'm point this. See, what between my main camera breaking (and not wanting to waste a lot of effort shooting inferior quality stuff with my old camera) and various family and personal emergencies, I've simply been mining my backlog of files to create new cartoons, and I've been doing it for several months now.

See, it works like this. I save EVERYTHING I shoot for Minions, and for each photo setup, I do many shots, from various angles, and sometimes reposed and repositioned as well. I pick the best shot for the intended gag, and that leaves me with lots of outtakes and alternate versions, which can in turn sometimes be re-cropped an reedited. And currently, I have over TEN GIGABYTES of Minions-related material here to draw on. So, when I'm behind or stuck for a new cartoon, I'll browse through all this stuff, looking for new punch-lines to go with old pictures.

I suspect, most of the time the repetition goes unnoticed by most of you (though sometimes it much be very obvious to regular readers, especially when I got for running gags, and I don't go out of my way to disguise it in that case).

But I prefer to deliver fresh material most of the time, and life has gotten in the way of that lately. But we are past the immediate emergencies, and my camera, long-delayed by back-ordered parts, is finally out of the shop, so I decided last week it was time to dust off the old Minion Studio here at the Lair and get back to (new) work.

But I've spent the last week simply cleaning out and rewiring the studio, and only today was I really in the position of shooting something. Well, I'm SURE I had a bunch of cool ideas last week, but as I got ready to put a set together, I drew a blank. Even though I hadn't really gone anywhere lately, and the studio had always been back there behind me in my office, I still felt jet-lagged and out of sorts.

Isn't that always the way? And then I realized, this was the meta that would drive this week's strip. I had to remind myself just how crazy the world of the Minions was, and work my way back into it just like anybody else coming back from the beach after Labor Day to face the old 9 to 5 grind. So, Number Two becomes my stand-in in this week's cartoon, and just kind of threw everything and the kitchen sink at him.

It ain't great, but I hope it gives you a grin, and we'll be back next week with more new stuff. We'll see you here then!

- Back to Mastering Minion Master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Minions #287 - Don't Tell, Don't Ask

2011-09-06T01:01:00.000-07:00

Click for Bigger Rates!

Greetings, Office Headaches!

Tuesday is Monday this week, because of the holiday weekend here in the U.S., so no complaining that we're late. MINIONS GET LABOR DAY OFF! IT'S THE LAW! (Yeah, like that ever stopped an Evil Overlord.)

After a long break of mining our multi-gigabyte photo archive for material, I'm finally about to getting back to some new shooting here. I'd hope to be into it already, but I go distracted when I found that some of the lights in our shooting studio weren't working, and I'd totally lost track of how our nest of extension cords was hooked up (not quite as bad as it sounds, since all our lighting these days is with low-wattage CF and LED bulbs, and the loads are quite small). So I tore the whole thing apart, installed the first of several permanent power strips on our shooting bench, and rewired the whole thing.

Hope to have totally new material for you next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Support starving Minions in Lair-land! Your donations support Minions at Work!

Minions #286 - Lost Patrol

2011-08-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Capacity (not really)

Stand by, following the usual strap-hanging for an abrupt stop by your Minion Master!

Your interminable wait is important to us. To serve you better, a supervisor may feed the representative assigned to serve you to the razor monkeys just before they can answer your call. It's just one more way of saying, "we care, just not about you."

Join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook.And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) Eventually I'm getting No. 1 his own account for Minions-related-business, but one thing at a time.Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

Belated greetings, Minions fans!

Sorry we've been missing-in-action the last week and a half. We had a family tragedy which I will not bring you all down by going into, but trust to say that it was bad.

Mrs. Minion Master and I are fine (physically, anyway) though, and despite our neighbor's efforts to drop a 70 foot spruce on us (I blame the Forces of Good) the lair is intact as well. So we will be working on restoring our battered psyches, and working on Minion at Work is exactly the kind of fun distraction I need in these troubled times. So hopefully, as summer winds down, I'll be going back into serious photo-shoots again, and adding some nifty upgrades to the Minion apparatus. And hopefully there will be no more unplanned disruptions of our schedule.

So, sadness for us, fun for you! It's just the way that evil works...

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #285 - Baby Gripes

2011-08-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

Click for more sweetness!

Greetings, Suckers!

As you read this, we'll hopefully be in (or near-to) Reno for the World Science Fiction convention, where Mrs. Minion Master and I will be appearing on convention programming. If you're there, be sure to drop by our panels and say "hi." Bring money.

Speaking of, we have a couple of new ebooks to hawk this one, and one of them is written by my CAT! But trust me, this cat is EVIL!

If you or anyone you know aspires to be a writer, the World's Worst Literary Agent, Sydney T, Cat (because anybody can print up cards and call themselves an agent, even a cat!) will show you (by bad example) how bad-agents can break your spirit, steal your money, and wreck your career! Learn, laugh, and enjoy the illustrations (oooh, cat pictures!). $4.99 is a bargain!

Or, for a buck, you can read my latest short-story release, "Boldly Reimagined!"

The pitch:

When Diana Mallock is oldest writer, and only woman, hired to write for a new TV show "boldly reimagining" Jason and the Argonauts for a modern audience, she has no idea what she's getting into. She's brought late to the writer's room party, and the wild ideas are already flying.

Soon the show has morphed into a sci-fi show titled "Jason and the Stargonauts," and she can already feel herself being eased out the door by the all-boy-writers-club...

But Diana likes her new home, and has decided to fight for her job with every skill and dirty trick she's got. She has some wild ideas of her own, and the "boys" won't know what hit them.

Before the dust has settled, heads will roll, roles will reverse, genders will swap, alliances will be forged and broken, and science-fiction television will never be the same again!

Come on back next week, when the Minions will be there, but I maybe won't be!

- Minion Master, Steve

Minions #284 - Door Jam!

2011-08-08T05:45:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon for Bigness Cookies!

Greetings, Door Knockers!

We're leaving next weekend for Reno and the 2011 World Science Fiction Convention (Renovations). Mrs. Minion Master and I will be appearing on programming there over the following weekend. But don't worry, I've got cartoons lined up, so service here should be uninterrupted.

I've made one important (but still untested) experimental change this week. If you check the sidebar to the right, you'll see a new "Follow Minions at Work by Email" box. This is a new automated reminder system that hopefully will replace the old Yahoo email reminder list, which I've gotten quite sloppy about updating lately. However, I haven't had a chance to fully test it, and so far as I know, I'm the only person actually signed up for it so far. You're welcome to try it yourself though. Just enter your email, and you'll receive a confirmation email that you'll need to respond to. Then, thereafter, you'll get -- something, I'm not sure what -- in your email every time I make a new post here. I don't know if you'll just get a link, or some version of the actual post, or what. I'll let you know, after I try it out by making THIS post...

Come on back here next week! I won't be here, but the Minions will!

- Minion Master, Steve

(P.S. - I just HATE it when a cartoon goes up, and then a few hours later I notice a big ol' glaring typo in the caption. Yes, I DO know the difference between "Here" and "Hear," but it was LATE! EVIL KNOWS NO CURFEW! Anyway, fixed now.)

(P.P.S. - I still don't know what happens with the new email system because I didn't get anything when this originally posted. Perhaps it was too soon for things to be working properly, or perhaps my message is stuck in a spam filter somewhere and I just haven't found it yet. In any case, if you've signed up an it DID work, I'd appreciate a report in the comments section. Thanks!)

Minions #283 - Management Plugger

2011-08-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

Click to increase visual voltage

Greetings, Jar Heads!

I just this minute realized I made a big mistake a couple weeks ago, what with all the vacation related confusion, and ran the same cartoon twice! What's worse, I ran the same cartoon twice only a month after it had first run! Yes, Minions at Work #277 and #281, same cartoon! But what's REALLY sad is that nobody noticed and called me on it! PAY MORE ATTENTION! Somebody has to, because I obviously haven't lately.

See you guys next week back here at the lair!

- Minimal Minion Master Steve

Minions #282 - Sometimes You Don't Get What You Need

2011-07-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Click for Better Working (well, viewing) Conditions

Greetings, Negotiating Pointy-heads!

We're safely back in our lair after our vacation in Nevada. While we didn't manage to bring back any H-Bombs, we did get a nifty "Area 51" mug, so, cool! Well, things to do, so we'll see you back here next week!

- Minion Mug Master Steve

Minions #281 - Name Dropper

2011-07-17T02:40:00.000-07:00

Click for More Bottomlessness

Greetings, Pit Stops!

This is appropriate in that we ARE traveling this week, on vacation. But don't worry! The lair is safely under the care of our three attack cats and their fearless human keeper! And don't worry, next week's cartoon is already ready to do, so there will be no interruption of your regularly scheduled evil.

So come on back next week!

- Vacation Master, Steve

Minons #280 - Sprung a Leak

2011-07-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

Click on Molten Lava for Bigger Hotness!

Greetings, Molten Larva!

Yes, we're late again this week, but the above cartoon pretty much sums up how things feel here at the lair at the moment. No, it wasn't for lack of a cartoon, because I'm set for a couple more weeks in that department, it's just that life has gotten so insane I just didn't get around to posting the cartoon I already had ready. Summers are already crazy, we're scheduled to go on vacation in a week, and life just keeps throwing problems at us with no obvious solution. And now I log on to post the cartoon, and discover that Blogger has changed EVERYTHING and I've got to figure out this process all over again.

THIS IS NOT WHY WE BECAME SUPER-VILLAINS! IT'S ALL SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD UNTIL THE LAIR BLOWS UP! NO TORTUROUS UNCERTAINY! UNCERTAINTY IS FOR GOOD-GUYS!

There. Got that off my chest. If all goes well (and at this point, I'm not counting on it) I'll be posting next week from lovely Las Vegas. If not -- oh, there will be hell to pay!

Oh, and it's time for your weekly ebook plug. Mrs. Minion Master, Christina F. York (when she's not using one of her many aliases), has a new fantasy short-story ebook out, and it's a whole 99 cents.

The link to get it on Amazon Kindle is below. You can also buy it on Smashwords in all major ebook formats, and it's coming soon to Nook, Sony, Kobo, Apple and all your other major ebook outlets.

Here's the blurb:
Some people think all cheerleaders are witches, which isn't really true. Except at Salem Township Public High School #4 - known to the student body as Witch High.

Regionals are coming, and Cassie wants to win. But not enough to cheat. Magic is strictly forbidden in competition, and by the coach. Still, a little magic seems to be creeping into their routines, and Cassie is worried. She prides herself on using her powers for good, and cheating isn't right.

If she can't find the hidden source of the magic before their next competition, they could be disqualified.

Or worse, in Cassie's mind, they could not be disqualified.

Then even if they win, they lose!

I won't be back here next week, but hopefully you will!

- Chaos-master, Steve

Minions #279 - To a Small Degree

2011-07-05T02:55:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon for bigger career possibilities!

Greetings, Liberal Artists!

Well, I've got yet another new ebook to hawk to you today! It's called "Walking the Virtch," and it's a science-fiction mini-collection. The title story, "Walking the Virtch," was originally published in Analog Science Fiction magazine, where it was a reader's choice nominee. Also in this volume, is a previously-unpublished, novella-length sequel to the first story, titled "God-mode, With Rockets." Here's the blurb:

From National Best-selling author J. Steven York -

LOST IN CYBERSPACE

In a stagnated and decadent future, the Virtch is all they have left. The Virtch is a world computer network, shared virtual-reality, and life itself. Life outside it, the Real, is only a colorless shadow by comparison. But humanity has lost itself in these virtual places, and nobody remembers how the system works. Even the Sysgods dare not touch the core-code, lest their virtual worlds collapse.

In virtual spaces where everyone flies, one man, Jodd finds the courage to bring himself down to earth, to walk beneath virtual skies, find lost secrets of the heart, and regain his lost humanity.

But if there can still be true-love in the Virtch, what about true-friendship? Jodd holds the keys to the lost secrets of the Virtch. To use them, he and his new love must reunite with three childhood friends. But one of those friends hides a terrible secret. And another wants only revenge; to destroy his old-friends and the Virtch itself!

The power to become Virtual Gods is within their grasp, to remake the Virtch, or to destroy it.

But only if they can avoid killing each other first!

Use the link above to check it out on Amazon's Kindle. Or, if you don't roll that way, it's also on Nook, and on other ebook formats via Smashwords. Coming soon to other major ebook vendors such as Apple and Kobo as well!

Hope you'll check it out. It's only $2.99. (And remember, you can get a free sample in pretty much any of the above places!)

See you next week,

- eBook Minion Master, Steve

Minion #278 - By Your Leave

2011-06-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

Click, then leave before seeing if cartoon gets any bigger...

Greetings, Booby Traps!

Hey, check out my latest ebook release, an all-new short story, first in a new Steampunk Cowboy series called "Tales of the Clockwork Cowboy." This first one is called "The Unwinding of Liberty Brass," and concerns the origins of our wandering metal hero. The second story in the series will be in an upcoming DAW Books
anthology called "Western Weird," and there are more to come.

You can buy (or sample) the Amazon Kindle edition using the link at left. It's also available on Nook and in other ebook formats through Smashwords. Coming soon to Apple, Sony, Kobo and other major ebook outlets!

Here's the blurb:

J. Steven York's Clockwork Cowboy stories aren't just 'weird Westerns.' They're quite touching, too. Yes, Liberty Brass is a metal man with a busted 'governor.' But he's got as much heart as any other hero you'll find riding the range."
-- Steve Hockensmith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Dawn of the Dreadfuls, and the Holmes on the Range mystery series

Throughout the west tales are told of a legendary Clockwork Cowboy, a restless mechanical wanderer who rode a clockwork horse, and whose bullets never missed. Some called him traitor, or monster, or murderer, but some called him hero. Some said he never stood by idle when the strong preyed upon the weak, and no bad men, mechanical or flesh, were safe while he wandered the plains.

But every story has a beginning...

Some say the Clockwork Cowboy was actually a Confederate Artilleryman called Liberty Brass. But for Liberty Brass, the trail seems ready to end almost before it begins. In a half-destroyed barn near the Gettysburg battlefield, on a dark, rainy night, two clockwork men, both damaged in war, meet. In the hours that follow, a terrible secret is revealed, a fateful judgment is made, and only one can survive to see the morning sun...

Be sure to check it out!

- Your Steampunk Minion Master, Steve

Minions #277 - Name Dropper

2011-06-20T03:31:00.000-07:00

Click on Cartoon for Bottomless Bigness (Sounds dirty!)

Greetings, Hail Stones and Gall Stones!

A big week here at the lair as Mrs. Minion Master turned in her latest mystery, "Murder Wears a Tee-Shirt" to her publisher, Berkley Prime Crime. This is the first of a new series set in a haunted beach gift shop (featuring a foul-mouthed parrot that sometimes channels the ghost of the owner's dead grandfather). Just in case you thought I was the only one in the house who came up with strange stuff.

This next series will be coming out under the name "Christy Fifield," even though her previous lady-plumber mysteries came out under the name "Christy Evans." What gives? Well, A, we like to be mysterious here around the lair, and B, Christy Fifield is actually closer to being a real name for her than Christy Evans, and C, we're EVIL here, and sometimes we just do things because we can!

Actually, it's publishing stuff. Complicated to explain. Difficult to understand. And ultimately boring. Just believe me when I tell you, it's for the better... Anyway, look for announcements on the upcoming new series as it appears in print and ebook. We're excited and looking forward to it.

Okay, now I'm going to post a link to something I wrote. Why? Because it's my damned web-comic, and I'm EVIL, and I'm doing it because I can! Just try to stop me! MuhHAha!

Okay, and now I'm going to post a link to a pet watering dish! Why? Because it's evil for reasons you will never understand.

Also, it's damned random, and I hate being too predictable! (Except on Mondays, when I ALWAYS post these silly cartoons. We, most Mondays, anyway.

Except when I don't. Or I forget. Or there's a technical screw-up.

Or when I'm on vacation.

Or...

CAT-DISH!

HA!

Lulled you into a false sense of security, then pulled the old Cat-dish blitz! And you totally fell for it!

Until next week, be sure to follow Minion No. 1 on Twitter!

See you then!

CAT-DISH!

Fake-out!

See you next time.

- Minion Master CAT-DISH (fake!) Steve!

Minions #276 - Punch Drunk

2011-06-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

Click on Cartoon for a Double Shot!

Greetings, Bar Flies and other Pests!

Look, I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you're missing out if you're not following Minion No. 1 on Twitter! (Check our sidebar for a sample.) Go do it, right now!

Also, it looks like our Facebook group survives, but in the new form it doesn't allow me to message all members (for our weekly reminder) so I'm not sure how useful it will be. We'll hang on an see what happens though. But for now, Twitter is still your best way to keep up with new cartoons (and doings down at the lair).

Busy summer, so see you here next week!

- Minion Master, Steve

Minions #275 - Spooky Lighting

2011-06-06T02:23:00.000-07:00

Click on cartoon for more darkness!

Greetings, Dark Knights and Dim knaves!

Back on schedule! Sorry we were late last week!

Hey, if you aren't already, get your regular updates from the lair and Minion reminders direction from Minion No. 1 by following his Twitter feed! Not on Twitter? It's free, easy, and fun, and it's full of cool people to follow and interesting and fun information, as opposed to the noisy three-ring-circus that Facebook has turned into!

Hey remember, when you click through our Amazon links and ads and buy something, even if it isn't one of the items we link, we get a little piece of the action that helps support our evil activities here at the lair. So think about us next time you plan to do a little on-line shopping!

Remember, it's like highway robbery, except you aren't the one getting robbed!

See you guys back here at the Lair, same time next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #274 - Bird Bombed

2011-06-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

Click Egg for Explosive Extra Bigness!

Greetings, Egg-suckers!

Whoops! Due to a technical glitch (that went unnoticed because of the holiday on Monday, "Minion Monday" has somehow turned into "Minion Thursday!" We'll try to be back on schedule next week!

- Tardy Minion Master Steve

Minions #273 - Over-careful (and our new Twitter feed!)

2011-05-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon to feed mice for rapid growth!

Greetings, Feeder Mice!

Great news, everybody! We've added a new way for you keep up with (and enjoy) Minions at Work! Minion No. 1 now has his own Twitter feeds, were you'll get live updates from the lair, links about evil and mad-science of all kinds, and of course announcements of the latest Minions at Work cartoons! You can find the feed at:
www.Twitter.com/MinionNo1
or if you're already on Twitter, just add @MinionNo1 to your follow list!

The bad news is that the Evil Overlords at Facebook are "improving" the group function we've been using for reminders there in a way that will pretty much destroy it for us. Maybe we'll come up with an alternative, but if you're using Facebook for your reminders, I'd suggest you either use the Twitter feed above, or join our email list on Yahoo.

- Minion (but not Facebook) Master Steve

Minions #272 - Off Office Space

2011-05-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

Click for Bigger Office

Greetings, Cubical Chipmunks!

Yes, we're cutting it close this week, BUT IT'S STILL TECHNICALLY MONDAY!

And hey, speaking of offices, check out of a couple of my favorite office comedies at the links below. "Office Space" is a live-action cult classic from those "South Park" guys that you've probably heard of (or seen), but I'll bet you've never heard of the obscure-but-similar Haiku Tunnel! It's about a wanna-be writer working as a temp who goes slowly insane when offered a full-time position at the company where's he's working. The build-up is a little slow, but the pay-off is a classic (and pretty good real-world advice for dealing with deadlines, too)! They'd make a great double-feature! Check them out!

See you next Technical Monday!

- Master Minion Procrastinator, Steve

Minions #271 - Bad for Your Health

2011-05-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

Click your Bic for Bigger Cartoon!

Greetings, Second-hand Smokers!

The lair was invaded this week by a homeless gray and white cat that just demanded to be adopted. So we did. We are not entirely sure how rescuing a homeless, underfed cat is evil, but we're sure that, given a few weeks, we can come up with something.

We're working on it.

Really.

Meanwhile, we named him "Thor Dude." That's pretty evil all by itself.

Evil. Really.

We're working on it.

See you guys here next week!

- Minion Master (and cat-herder) Steve

Minion #270 - Freestylin'

2011-05-02T03:42:00.000-07:00

Click on this cartoon for bigger bundle!

Greetings, Pickers, and Grinners!

Speaking of long-lost items with a price on their head, checked the news this week?

Yes, it's one more small step towards a world where ALL super-villains are again just harmless fictional buffoons.

See you guys next week!

- Minion Master, Steve

Minions #269 - Lost and Found

2011-04-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon for even more bottomlessness!

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm finally on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) Eventually I'm getting No. 1 his own account for Minions-related-business, but one thing at a time. Still: We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

Greetings, Dusty Bones!

Not much to report this week. Just a reminder that you can find a whole selection of ebooks by Your Minion Master and Mrs. Minion Master available through Tsunami Ridge Publishing. They're available on all you favorite ebook outlets, including Amazon, Nook, Apple, Sony, Kobo, Smashwords and more! Check them out today!

Minions #268 - Just Dew It!

2011-04-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon to Pop the Top on Bigness!

Greetings, Bald Spots!

Hey, you know what would make evil EVEN BETTER? You could support Minions at Work by buying one of the fine products from

Doctor Head-in-a-jar's Nogginarium!

Minion #267 - A Paradox is Not a Pair

2011-04-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Go back in time and click on cartoon so it will already be big!

Greetings, Quantum Uncertainties!

Still without our main camera, so I've literally been going back in time to whip up some cartoon inventory. So, forgive me if a couple of pictures in upcoming weeks look familiar....

Look, I'm CHEATING, okay! It's EVIL! EVIL is what we DO around here! You got a problem with that, you're reading the wrong danged web comic!

Anyway, I've got enough comics to last for a few weeks here, which will let me focus on getting the camera fixed. Of course, as always, your money makes everything go smoother. Either I can use it to get the camera fixed if the warranty doesn't cover it, or I can just roll around in it to pass the time while waiting for it to come back from the shop!

So click the DONATE button below and give me your retirement fund. Go on! You know you want to! The way things are going, what are the odds you're gonna live that long anyway?

= Your Minion Money-master, Steve

Minions #266 - General Disobedience (and a message on our "State of Emergency"

2011-04-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

We COMMAND you to click on cartoon!

Greetings, Blind Being Led By the Blind!

Emergency! We're running slightly late this week because we have a mild state of emergency here at the lair. We're down a camera.

This weekend Mrs. Minion Master, a.k.a. mystery-writer Christy Evans, had a signing at a local bookstore, and I took along my fairly new Canon Powershot SX-120IS to get some pictures. The camera worked fine, and I returned to my car, put the camera in a case, put that on a car seat, and drove the 3 or so miles home. When I got there I took it out, turned it on, and discovered the LCD was cracked.

How this happened, I haven't a clue. The camera didn't get dropped, wasn't mishandled, and didn't even get bumped as far as I know (though it could have gotten bumped while in my coat pocket, it was pretty well padded in there, and if so, it wasn't hard enough for me to notice). The cracks radiate out from the center bottom of the screen, and are only on the inner glass. The outer glass, and the case under it, are completely unmarked.

The camera is still under warranty, but I have the feeling they're going to claim is isn't from a factory defect and I'm stuck. We'll see. I still have to call Canon and see what they say. I've found a place on the web that quotes a flat price to replace the display for $70. Since it's a fairly new camera that still sells for about $200, that sucks, but is worth it.

But either way, I'm down a camera for a while, probably at least a couple weeks with shipping and all. And naturally this happens when I don't have any new cartoons in inventory. What you're seeing this week is literally the dregs.

I've got my old Canon camera I could use as backup, but it's much lower resolution, and is going to be difficult to use with my current lighting set up (I don't use as much light as I used to, since the new camera doesn't need it). And I hate to put a lot of work on setups that I'd probably want to recreate and shoot with the newer camera when it's available. I even have some goofy ideas of using my phone camera for a couple of special cartoons (possibly shot "on location", and there's always the old trick of raiding my inventory looking for shots I can use (or reuse) with new gags.

Possibly you'll get a bit of all of that before my camera is repaired, so bear with me during this time of emergency.

Or, somebody (or somebodies) could just front me $200 for a new camera while I get this one fixed up as a more functional backup. Yeah, I like that idea! Get right on it. Click the donate button down there and take care of it for me, would you?

- Your Camera Challenged Minion Master, Steve

Minions #265 - See You Later Alligator!

2011-03-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Problems!

Join the Minions Reminder Email List. It's free, it's easy, and you'll never miss a Minions at Work cartoon (or if you do, it won't be our fault!) Or become one of our followers. See the follower box in our Mighty Sidebar! Or join our "Minions at Work" group on Facebook. And yes, I'm on Twitter. Follow me. I'm JSteveYork there (clicking on the previous link will take you straight to my profile page.) We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

Greetings, Glow Plugs!

Well, here we are, flying close patrols along the borders of bad taste! If you feel at all bad about laughing, you make a donation to the Red Cross to support relief efforts in Japan. Or (with most U.S. carriers) you can text REDCROSS to 90999 on your cell phone to have a $10 donation sent (it will appear on your phone bill). You'll note we've removed our own donation button for the time being...

Minion #264 - Road-side Stand

2011-03-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

Click cartoon for deluxe package!

Greetings, Ditch Diggers!

First up this week let me put in a plug for Mrs. Minion Master, who has a book signing of her new mystery novel "Drip Dead" coming up Saturday, April 2nd, 6334 S. Hwy 101, #9 (Streetcar Village) center at North by Northwest Books, in Lincoln City, OR. I realize that most of you won't be able to make that, but if you or someone you know would like a signed copy, this would be an excellent opportunity. Just call the store at 541-994-6809, or email owner Sheldon MacArthur to make arrangements to have your book signed (and if you wish, personalized, great for gifts!) and shipped directly to you.

If you can make it, the're having a big sale to celebrate their new, larger location, and Your Minion Master will be looming in a dark corner somewhere!

See you guys next week,
- Minion Master Steve

Minions #263-Watching the Perimeter

2011-03-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

Click Cartoon to Uncover Bigness!

Greetings, Minions Buffs!

It's been a tiring week here at the lair, as we were under the threat of a tsunami warning and missed a lot of sleep. I half-considered just taking the week off, but in these trying times, the world needs its humor. Unfortunately, all I've got is this Minions cartoon, but I give what I can!

You could give too. Not to us this time, but to help out Japan. Frankly, we're disappointed that we couldn't think up an evil plan 1/1000th as bad as what's happening to them now. They desperately need your help to build them up so that we can knock them down later with a giant dinosaur made of cheese. (We call it Mozilla. Original, huh?) Anyway, Japan isn't any fun at all right now, and they need your help.

You can donate to the relief effort through the Red Cross, or even easier, you can donate $10 by texting REDCROSS to 90999 on your phone! Do it now! WE COMMAND YOU!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #262 - But I wouldn't eat it anyway...

2011-03-06T20:47:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Tech!

Greetings, Duds and Disappointing Bangs!

Don't forget that the coupon for free Smashwords ebook, on our Feb. 21st post is still good through March 21st! If you missed it, go back and grab it today!

Just a reminder too that we love hearing from you guys. Comments, suggestions, words of encouragement, death-threats, we love it all! So drop us a comment after the post and let us know what's on your mind!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #261 - Bad Crowd

2011-02-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Double-shot!

Greetings, Bar-flies!

Hey, if you missed it, we gave out a coupon-code last week for a FREE ebook-download from SmashWords.com. Check last week's post for details. The coupon is still good for another couple weeks I think.

We're running a bit late this week, as Dell computer is apparently in league with the forces of Good. Not Good for the customers, mind you, just "Good" as in "against us." I actually shot this cartoon last week, but it was stuck on my SD card as I discovered this weekend that the built-in card-reader on my Dell Inspiron (we won't say exactly what emotions it was intended to inspire) mysteriously stopped working for about the zillionth time. Rebooting didn't even help this time and installing new drivers didn't help either.

This shouldn't be a problem as, though the expensive built-in reader fails on regular basis. my cheap USB card reader always works. Except, I haven't used it in quite a while, and couldn't find it. I finally hard to break down and buy ANOTHER cheap card reader in order to transfer my pictures. Sigh.

Anyway, here at last is the new cartoon.

See you next time,

- Steve

Minions #260 - You're Looking Good!

2011-02-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

Check following the Cartoon for extra Minion cartoon classics and a free ebook coupon!

Click Cartoon for Bigger Bite!

Greetings, Snack-sized Fans!

Download this FREE ebook!

Hey, did you know that this weekend was the 49th anniversary of John Glenn's historic Mercury flight which made him the first American in orbit? As you know (if you've watched "The Right Stuff" DVD about sixty times like I have) NASA pretty much tried to treat the astronauts like Minions back in those early days. They were brave pilots, but to some of the suits, they were just "spam in a can," something those highly trained pilot/engineers had to fight every step of the way.

So, in honor of this anniversary, and its dubious Minion connection, we're doing a couple of things to celebrate.

First, we're giving you a SmashWords.com coupon for a FREE SHORT-STORY EBOOK written by Mrs. Minion Master, Christina York, featuring an alternate-world story about John Glenn. It's called "God Speed," and it originally was published in the DAW short-story collection "Time After Time," edited by Denise Little. Our ebook coupon is courtesy of TsunamiRidgePublishing. Download is available in formats to read on your PC, Mac, and most ebook readers and portable devices. You can even read it on the web.

Coupon code (to be used at checkout for a 100% discount), is FH43C Expires March 21, 2011.
Here's the Direct Link to the story on the SmashWords site.

Also, in honor of the occasion, we're presenting encore appearances of a couple of our space-themed Minions at Work cartoons!

Enjoy!

See you all next week!

- Minion Master Blaster, Steve

Minions #259 - Good Knight, Sweet Prince!

2011-02-14T01:42:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Big Love!

Greetings, Lonely Hearts Club!

We certainly don't want to sully this day of pure love and romance with crass commercialism. But what the hell! Did you know that you can now send Amazon Kindle ebooks to people, even if they don't have a Kindle (they can read on their computer, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, or Android device)? Did you know that Mrs. Minions Master, Christina York has a bunch of great romance novels out on Kindle? Did you know one of those romances would be a great gift for your sweetie? Well, now you know. And knowing is half the battle!

Minions #258 - Out of Their Zone

2011-02-07T02:02:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Size Variance!

Greetings, Uninvited Guests!

I got an email the other day from an old friend of the Minions saying, more or less, "hey, Steve, did you stop doing the Minions?"

No, I haven't stopped! I haven't even missed a cartoon (lately, anyway). What I did miss the last couple weeks were the reminder notices sent out to our email list and Facebook friends (pretty sure I did announce all of them on Twitter).

Let that be a lesson to you. Putting out those announcements is the LAST thing I do each week, so if I get crunched for time or energy, they can get delayed, or even (gasp!) forgotten, which is pretty much what happened the last couple weeks. Lots of stuff going on here around the Lair that I won't go into, but it's left me distracted and a bit (in the great tradition of super-villains) a bit brooding and moody.

So stuff got missed. Minor laws of man, the universe, physics, and common decency were violated. SO WHAT! THIS WILL TEACH THEM TO LAUGH AT ME! LAUGH? LAUGH? I'LL SHOW THEM WHEN TO...

Oh, wait. This is a web cartoon. I WANT them to laugh. Sorry. Sometimes, I just like to go off on a good rant.

Anyway, sorry about the reminders! I'll try to do better! But remember, when in doubt, just drop in here every Monday and more-than-likely I'll have something new for you.

Or, you could engage your friends, associates and family-members in an evil conspiracy to increase the numbers of people on our email-reminder-list, or followers on our Facebook page, until the sheer numbers overwhelm us with guilt if we even think about skipping a week!

Well. I'm not feeling overwhelmed here people! Get to it!

- See you next week, iffin' you show up
Mopey Minion Master Steve

Minions #257 - Uninviting

2011-01-31T03:31:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Big Bite!

Greetings, under-bites and over-eaters!

Just a reminder that Mrs. Minion Master (writing as Christy Evans) has a new mystery novel coming out this week. It's the third in her detective plumber series, "Drip Dead." It's lots of fun, and set near the lair here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. It's available in mass-market paperback and ebook where-ever books are sold, but you can do us a double solid if you just click the link at the left and order it from Amazon. The two earlier installments in the series, "Sink Trap" and "Lead-Pipe Cinch" are also still available. So check it out, for yourself, or as a gift for someone likes a little fun in their mysteries (or a little mystery in their fun)!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #256 - Where there's Smoke...

2011-01-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

Click for BIG Screen

Greetings, Core News Demographic!

Well, Doctor Coldblood continues his drunken binge this week, even though it's a little early for spring break.

Just another quick book plug. Mrs. Minion Master, in her secret alias of "Christy Evans," has a new mystery coming out February 1st, the third in her series of crime-solving-plumber mysteries. It's called "Drip Dead." Check it out where ever books are sold! Or recommend it to the nearest mystery fan immediately! We've got bills to pay here!

Point in fact, we're being served up with some irony this week. The lair is being invaded by heating repair guys who are going to be grubbing around our crawl-space replacing all the duct work.

Why is this ironic? Well, my story "Gordie Culligan vs. Doctor Long Beach and the HVAC of Doom," written for the anthology "If I Were an Evil Overlord," is about a heroic heating and air-conditioning guy working in the ducts of a volcanic lair (that just happens to be located in Long Beach, California).

Got to check my paperwork. If the rights on that story have reverted, I much just post it here as a freebie for you guys to read soon. I'll let you know...

- Irony Master, Steve

Minions #255 - Snakes, Why Did We Have to Be Snakes?

2011-01-16T20:10:00.000-08:00

Click Image for Further Embarrassment!

Greetings, Wishing You Were Somewhere Else Peoplessh!

Hey, want some free ebooks? Then follow me on Twitter. Starting next week I'm going to be giving away coupons good for a free download of my new ebook "DeadRingers" (available in all major ebook formats, so you can read on your ereader, phone, pad or computer) from Smashwords.com! Just follow and look for a give-away post. First follower to respond is the winner! Easy!

I plan to do this several times through the week, depending on the response, so don't give up if you don't win the first time. I also plan to do this for future ebook releases, so stay-tuned for further chances to win!

Still want more ebooks? Follow the tireless Robot CEO of our ebook publisher, Tsunami Ridge Publishing. He'll be giving away books by my wife, Christina F. York (who writes romance, fantasy, and mystery) as well as myself and other authors.

Not on Twitter yet? Just follow one of the links above for free and easy sign-up!

See you guys next week.

- Steve

Minions #254 - The Greater of Two Evils

2011-01-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

Add caption

Greetings, Miscommunications!!

I'll keep it brief this week. Just allow me one little plug. Drop on over to our favorite ebook publisher, Tsunami Ridge Publishing. They're an innovative small publisher that happens to be, among other things, bringing out a load of fiction written by myself and Mrs. Minion Master, some of it reprints, some of it original fiction and some (like my DeadRingers mini-anthology I told you about last week) a bit of both. You'll be seeing more of my fiction appearing there soon, including my action-figure-tribute fantasy story, "The Last Backyard Defender," which was originally published in the DAW anthology "Front Lines." I think you folks are gonna like it.

Minions #253 - Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?

2011-01-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Bar-flies!

Yeah, we're a little late this time. I could say we're slow coming back after the holidays, and that's true, but the big thing is that I've felt like some of the shoots I've done lately were overly simple and thrown together. I wanted something new, and something with some work put into it.

So you get -- THIS -- Fifteen figures, plus several hundred props, set pieces, and lots and lots of snakes! I've been tinkering with it off-and-on all week. Was the joke worth it? Probably not, but that's not the point.

Oh, I do have something to plug this week: I've got a new science fiction mini-anthology ebook out titled "DeadRingers." The tag line is, "The restless dead live in memories, both human and electronic. But who controls those memories, and how are the lives of the living still tangled in the echoes of the dead?"

It contains the short story "Carved in Stone," which original appeared in Analog Science Fiction magazine, a previously unpublished companion-novelette, "The Last Ride of Johnny Four-speed," and a new essay about how reality is starting to catch up with the "DeadRingers" technology used in the stories. All for $2.99 on Amazon Kindle, or on SmashWords.com where you can find most other ebook formats. It's coming soon to the Nook store, iPad, Kobo and other major ebook outlets as well. Download a free sample either place and have a look-see...

See you guys next week, maybe even on time!

- Minion Master, Steve

Have Yourself a Very Minion Christmas!

2010-12-24T20:03:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Presents!

Greetings, Unwanted Toys!

Given the fact that most people are going to be too busy to check in here anyway, I'm giving you this little Christmas card in lieu of an actual cartoon this week. We'll be back after the holidays with all-new (well, mostly new) Minion action! Our best wishes here for a safe and happy holiday, and great things for the coming new year!

- Steve (and Chris, and gang)

Minions #252 - You Better Watch the ____ Out!

2010-12-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

Read our Holiday Message following the cartoon for a FREE GIFT to you!

Click to open-fire with Holiday Bigness!

Greetings, Regifted Followers and Future Returns!

Hey, happy holidays to all of your out there from us at the Lair!

We've got a couple of announcements to make:

First, I've just updated the site to a new "mobile aware" template, which those of you reading from a phone, pad, or other mobile device should get a cleaner, easier to navigate site. Things should remain the same for our computer-users. Please let us know how it's working for you.

And like I said, FREE GIFT! Just pop on over to the Tsunami Ridge Publishing site to read a free holiday short-short-story, "A Holiday Explained," written by your Minion Master! I think you'll find it every bit as warped and silly as your regular Minion entertainment, if not more so! Find the story by clicking HERE.

And come on back here next week for the LAST MINIONS AT WORK OF THE YEAR! (And you thought it would never end...)

- Your Merry Minion Master, Steve

Minions #251 - Not Nice

2010-12-13T04:14:00.000-08:00

Click Cartoon for Bigger Presents!

Greetings, Unwrapped Packages!

Sometimes you just ask yourself, "is this cartoon in bad taste?" And around here, the answer is, usually, "yes."

But sometimes, you ask yourself, is this cartoon is really bad taste? That's what happened this week. I mean, this idea has been floating around for a while, and given the Christmas theme, it was pretty much now or never. But is joking about terrorism a good thing?

Well, to some extent, the entire concept of "Minions at Work" is based on terrorism. It riffs on the tropes of media super-villians in comics, movies, cartoons, and TV, especially during the formative era when I was growing up mumble-mumble years ago. And while we didn't have such a generic label for their activities, what were those guys (and gals) really, but terrorists? Captain Nemo sinking American warships in the name of world peace? Terrorist. Goldfinger trying to nuke Ft. Knox? Terrorist. Doctor Doom blasting the Fantastic Four's skyscraper headquarters out of Manhattan and straight into space? (Yes, this happened, in the classic Fantastic Four, first series, #6!) Terrorism.

So what is Doctor Coldblood's long-delayed plan to inject greenhouse gases into the atmosphere and bring about global warming (besides misguided, redundant, and just too late) but terrorism? Baron Badseed's plan to unleash flesh-eating plants on the world? Terrorism? Cap'n Rehab's scheme to operate a phony celebrity rehab clinic in a submarine so the paparazzi can't watch his "patients" partying like it's 1999? That's... Okay, that's just kind of brilliant. But that's not my point.

There's plenty of real terrorism in the world these days. According to news reports, a terrorism suspect was arrested recently after detonating a test bomb right here in my little town (a town so small that I should have HEARD any bomb that went off inside it, which makes me suspicious of either news reports, or the size of his bomb). Just a few days ago there was a bombing attack in Stockholm, Sweden. A fellow writer who I know casually passed through ground zero of the attack only minutes before the explosions went off. Only chance saved his life. Nobody is safe from terrorism.

But statistically, anyway, none of us is much in danger of it either. Far more people are killed or harmed every year by car accidents, common diseases, and routine criminal violence, dangers that most of us face without blinking an eye. While it's stupid not to take precautions, its also stupid to live our lives in fear, and the best cure for fear I know is laughter. If we spent more time laughing at people who try to blow up their underwear, rather than trembling and taking naked pictures of one another in airports (naked pictures that apparently can't detect exploding underwear because they're, you know, naked!) our enemies might not have quite as much luck recruiting willing suicide bombers. Because these people think they have nothing to lose, and they're wrong. We can still take away their dignity. We're not laughing with you, underwear guy, we're laughing at you.

So where are we with this week's cartoon? We rarely brush so close to real terrorism, as opposed to the cartoonish kind, but we're not making a joke about bombs going off here. We're laughing at them not going off, not even being made. We're laughing at plots foiled. We're laughing at a scenario so absurd I've got to laugh a little at anyone who would take offense. (Moslem extremists writing to a non-existent icon associated with a Christian holiday to ask for nuclear materials, and the order is intercepted by Minions of Evil who are doing seasonal temp work for a Santa of dubious morals? Yeah, that could totally happen!)

So join me, in this holiday season, in laughing into the face of danger. Pucker your lips, stick out your tongue, and give a big razzberry in the direction of people who would do the world pointless harm. It won't help, but it might just make you feel better.

At least until you're killed in a car accident.

Seriously, wishing all my Minions readers peace, and failing that, safety in the year to come.

See you next week (I hope):

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #250 - Put a Lid on It

2010-12-06T03:18:00.001-08:00

Click to Make Mountain out of Molehill

Greetings, Hazy Clouds!

Maybe you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, I've dropped the stock "support the site" boilerplate crap after each cartoon. Let's face it, I'm not rich yet, so it's obviously not working. I'm leaving our little "tip jar" donate button down there because, now and then it does work!

I know I keep saying we're going to get organized here at the lair, but this time we're really going to get organized here at the lair! I've broken down and rented a storage unit so I can haul many of the props, vehicles, and figures I use to make my cartoons off and have space to sort them, eliminate duplicates, find stuff I lost about three years ago, and generally get a better handle on all the stuff I have.

In a perfect world, I'd have something like the "wall of labeled boxes" you see in the background on Mythbusters, but short of building myself a new building, I don't have anywhere with room of that kind of shelving. But I do hope to approximate it as closely as I can; a box for everything, and everything in its box.

Yeah, like that's going to happen!

See you guys next week!

- Minion Master Steve

Minions #249 - Pumping Irony

2010-11-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Saggy Biceps!

Yes, we're late this week. Technical glitches. Bad weather. Holidays. The Forces of Good. Bah!

- Minion Master Steve